All Ye Married Men…

All Ye Married Men….

Holi is here. Holi means revelry. Holi is gorging on gujiya. Holi is laughter and merry-making. Holi to me is nostalgic. I remember various Holi festivals celebrated with family and friends at various places where I was posted on  transfer during my service of 29 years with my Bank.  

I also cherish sweet memories connected with “Hasya Kavi Sammelans” (a sammelan in Hindi, literally means a congregation of poets) which I attended at various places and a few in which I even participated. 

Usually, such sammelans are held around Holi time. The greatest thing about these sammelans is that the poets mix humour with social messages. The humour is generally clean and simple, sometimes a bit naughty or bawdy but it is presented in perfect verse and is recited boisterously to the exciting cries of “wah wah” from the listeners. It is quite heady for the poets (though some claim that the real kick comes from consumption of a mildly alcoholic concoction called “bhaang“!) 

I have a great liking and respect for some top class poets in Hindi. Here is an effort to list a few in random order: Ashok Chakradhar, Surendra Sharma,Arun Jemini,Hari Om Panwar,Shail Chaturvedi,Kumar Vishwas and Om Vyas. The late Kaka Hathrasi was also a favourite of mine in early college days. All of them have their distinct styles of writing and reciting poetry. All of them enjoy a huge fan following. 

This posting is meant to celebrate the festival of Holi and to begin with I would say:” Burra naan maanon,holi hai! “(Please do not misunderstand, for it is Holi time-and so a little liberty is permitted !). 

One of the best and most entertaining pieces of funny Hindi poetry that I have ever heard, still remains firmly etched in my mind. I had noted down its lively lyrics on pieces of paper hurriedly, while attending one of such sammelans in Chandigarh-around 1986/87 or so, if I recall correctly. The poem is about a complaint of a husband to his dear wife. I don’t know who the original poet of this composition is. Some attribute the original poem in Punjabi, to a Pakistani poet named Zahid Fakhri. Many other poets in India and abroad have also recited the poem at various funny poetry festivals. The main point is that the poem is a laugh riot and has been always lapped up by the appreciating crowds, be it in Chandigarh, Lahore, Delhi or Jaipur. 

Without further formalities, I am now posting the original poem in chaste colloquial Punjabi, along with its passable Hindi translation by me and later its equivalent translation by yours truly again, in English as well. As is but natural, on translation, some of the original charm is lost, but still the humour in the poem remains intact and enjoyable. So, ignoring any or all mistakes made by me, just enjoy it… OK?  

I. Original Punjabi version 

kadi taan peyke jaa ni begum…. (shohar ki fariyaad begum sey)  

kadi taan peyke jaa ni begum, aavey sukh da saah ni begum 

1. 

katthian reh reh akk gayey haan hunn,laagey beh beh thakk gaye haan hunn 

teendiyaan waangoon pakk gaye haan hunn, tey bharr wee nakko nakk gaye haan hunn 

hunn seeney thand paa ni begum, kadi taan pekey jaa ni begum….   

2.

ikko chchapad dey wich tarr key, ki labhbha aye shaadi karr key 

jindadi langh chali marr marr key, adhdhey reh gayey haan darr darr key 

oey mill gayi badi sazaa ni begum, kadi taan peykey jaa ni begum….. 

3.

tey ki ki rang wikha dittey nein, sajjan yaar chchudda dittey nein 

pichchley pyaar bhulla dittey nein, vaingan takk khawaa dittey nein 

taras koi hunn khaa ni begum, kadi taan peykey jaa ni begum… 

4.

shaam manaan noon dil kardaa aey, cigrett, paan, noon dill karda aey 

baahron khaan noon dill karda aey, dhaabey naahan noon dill karda aey 

karr dey poorey chaa ni begum, kadi taan peykey jaa ni begum… 

5.

tey apni marzi aaiey jaaiey, mundiaan varrgey kapdey paaiey 

raatan noon shubh raat banaaiey, kujhjh din assi wee eed manaaiey 

oey badley zarra hawwa ni begum, kadi taan peykey jaa ni begum… 

II. Hindi Translation 

kabhi  to maayeke jaa ni begum…(pati ki fariyad beewee sey)       

kabhi to maayeke jaa oh begum, aayey sukh kaa shwaas oh begum 

1.                                                                     

 ikaththey reh kar ab oob gaye hain hum,saath beth kar chakna choor ho gaye hum 

 teendon jaise pakk gaye hain hum, naako-naak takk bharr gaye hain abb hum 

abb seeney mein thand daal oh begum, kabhi to maayeke jaa oh begum… 

2.                                                                      

ek hi chchapad mein tarr tarr karr, kya paaya hai shaadi karr karr  

 zindagi guzar chali marr marr karr,  aadhey reh gayey hain darr darr karr 

oh mill gayi badi sazza oh begum,  kabhi to maayeke jaa oh begum… 

3.                                                                      

kya kya rangg dikhlaa deeye tum nein, sajjan yaar chchudva deeye tum nein

pichchley pyaar bhulvaa deeye tum nein,baingan tukk khilwaa deeye tum nein 

taras ab humm parr khaa oh begum, kabhi to maayeke jaa oh begum… 

4.                                                                       

 shaam manaaney ko dill karta hai, cigrett, paan ko, dill karta hai  

 baahar khaaney ko dill karta hai, dhaabey naahney ko dill karta hai  

karr dey poorey armaan oh begum, kabhi to maayeke jaa oh begum… 

5.                                                                        

 apnee marzee aanvein jaanvein, ladkon jaisey kappdey  appnaavein 

 raaton ko shubh raat banaavein,kuchch din hum bhi eed manaavein 

oh badley zarra hawwa oh begum,kabhi to maayeke jaa oh begum… 

III. Literal English Translation 

Go to your mothers place sometimes oh wife (a husband’s request to his wife) 

Go to your mothers place sometimes oh wife, Let me breathe with some ease oh wife 

1.                                                                       

Staying together, we are now so bored, Sitting besides each other, we are so tired 

Like an over-ripe vegetable I have become really now, Up till my nostrils I am fed up of you really now 

Let in some cold air into my lungs oh wife, Go to your mothers place sometimes oh wife  

2.                                                                       

Bathing in the same shallow pond so far dear, Pray what did we get from this marriage dear 

Life has just passed in toiling and trudging, I’ve reduced to half, out of fear and wearing     

You’ve given me enough punishment oh wife, Go to your mothers place sometimes oh wife   

3.                                                                      

Oh what colours of life you’ve shown me, Friends and well wishers have abandoned me 

All my old flames, I have just forsaken, I hated brinjals, but you made me eat ’em 

Have some pity on me now oh wife, Go to your mothers place sometimes oh wife  

4.                                                                       

Would love to celebrate my evenings alone, Love a few puffs of cigarettes, all alone  

Dining out in some fancy place, I crave, Bathing at a hand pump at a roadside place 

Let me fulfill my desires oh wife, Go to your mothers place sometimes oh wife   

5.                                                                       

Would love to come and go as I please, Wear simple clothes an do as I please 

Would love to enjoy my late night feasts, Feel as if I am enjoying a festival of Eid 

Oh, I wish for a change of air, oh wife, Go to your mothers place sometimes oh wife…

_________ 

So, all ye married men, you must be surely sharing the sentiments expressed by this poem, as I do. Keep smiling ! 

By the way, there is an equally hilarious rejoinder to this poem from the wife’s side (original in Punjabi), but to have a taste of its flavour, you will have to wait a while. 

Till then, A HAPPY AND COLOURFUL HOLI TO YOU ALL!