Why Newton committed suicide…?

Why Newton committed suicide..?
A few days ago (11th Nov) I had posted a piece on Ajit and Rajnikant titled :” A 5 R 5″.Here is another hilarious response from my poet friend Puttu Kulkarni ji -another self confessed fan of Rajnikanth !

Here is the reason- Why Newton Committed Suicide…..

Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.

In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes

1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can’t be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured!

Long Live Rajanikanth!

2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife.Guess, what he does?

He throws the knife at the middle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.

3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations.

He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots,Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang… the gangster dies…

This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time,and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The
whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn’t changed. Oops, not so fast!

The ‘climax’ finally arrives.Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can’t jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use.
Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it’s the climax.

( Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?) 

Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets.He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air.The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.

Newton commits suicide… 

Long live Rajnikanth !! 
Puttu Kulkarni

Puttu Kulkarni lives in Melinakeri-HEGDE in Karnataka. He has several publications in Kannada to his credit – Antarala (Poems) / Soundarya Lahari ( Tr from Sanskrit ) / Bhava Yaan (Khanda Kavya ) / Prajna Paata (Khanda Kavya) / Shivanda Lahari (Tr.from Sanskrit) Halli Puttana Hadugalu (Poems) / Tailopanashid (Kan, Eng and Sanskrit) / Declining of Intuition (Long Poem) English 2009.His translations into Kannada include Anudurantada Samajashastra (Sociology of Nuclear Accidents) / Jagatikaranavadd paryayagalu  (Alternatives for Globalization) / Parisara mattu Tantrajanya Samskruti (Tecnogenic Civilization) / Adhivaktara Adhiniyam (Advocate’s Act) translation / Tantrajanya Samskrati mattu Vaijnanika Niravana (translation).

His e-mail ;  puttuputtuk@yahoo.co.in


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1 Response to Why Newton committed suicide…?

  1. Ha ha Jatinderji. I kept laughing so much….:)

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