A 5 R 5
This title appears to be cryptic,no? Somewhat like Shahrukh Khan’s forthcoming movie named Ra1 ?
No,no,its not so difficult.Well A stands for AJIT and R stands for RAJNIKANTH.An odd combination you will say ! Wait a while please.
Yes I am talking of late Ajit,the sauve and sophisticated villain of Hindi movies in the 70s to late 90s.His style of dialogue delivery and his famous punchlines from various films are still remembered by his fans and there are several websites where many famous and lively Ajit Jokes are listed and enjoyed by lovers of this actor ! I belong to the list of his fans.His dialogues:”Mona darling, Smart Boy, Lilly don’t be silly, Mona loot lo sona “, went on to become a rage and they sometimes overshadowed his earlier remarkable performances.I still remember some of his other famous catch-phrases from some of his movies: Sara shehar mujhe Loyan (Lion) ke naam se janata hai,“What’s your problem?” ” I lost my glasses” ” How very interesting..”.After his death in 1998,there has been no other villain like Ajit, I feel.
Recently, Rajnikanth has also become an equally famous cult figure,I feel,especially after his super hit movie named:”Robot – Endhiran” rang up the box office cash registers.His fans were in a state of frenzy,as it were, after seeing his stunts and action scenes in that film.I now see a parallel there since there are also several fan clubs of Rajnikanth and quite a few web sites are also devoted to jokes about his dare devilery, bravado and super human qualities.
So to come back to the title of this piece,I will now list 5 of my most favourite jokes on Ajit and 5 of the most popular jokes on Rajnikanth.I believe that if Ajit was an institution,Rajnikanth has the capacity to make you laughingly insane and send you to a mental asylum or an institution for mad-caps like me.I would like to clarify that I have no intention to offend any fans of these two gentlemen please ! Jokes are to be treated as Jokes and not be stretched so far as to convey as if I am offending these two stars ! OK ?
A 5 first :
1.Scene : Ajeet thoroughly disgusted with Mona
daaa..arrling’s typing.
Ajeet : Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko
Ajeet : Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko
kaat do.
Raabert : Magar kyoon Baas ?
Ajeet : Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam
Raabert : Magar kyoon Baas ?
Ajeet : Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam
shaarthand to seekh legi.
2.Scene : Ajeet comes to know about the traitor
in his gang.
Ajeet : Raabert, ise ShamePain mein daal
do, agar Shame se nahi mara to
Pain se mar jayega.
3.Ajeet : Raabert ! isko eraser se maar do,
yeh mar bhi jayega aur mit bhi
jayega.
4.Raabert : Boss? Is kaa kyaa kare boss?
Ajeet : Raabert ! Is pille ko liquid oxygen
Ajeet : Raabert ! Is pille ko liquid oxygen
me daal do. Liquid ise jeene nahi
dega, aur oxygen ise marne nahi
dega.
5.Scene : Ajeet ordering his chela to kill the
5.Scene : Ajeet ordering his chela to kill the
enemy
Ajeet : “Raabert, Ise varnish mein daal do,
Ajeet : “Raabert, Ise varnish mein daal do,
saala mar bhi jaayega aur finish bhi
aa jaayegi.
R 5 next :
R 5 next :
1.When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
2.Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
3.Rajinikanth doesn’t breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
4.Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
5.Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.
PS : You may have your own list of your favourite lokes on these two institutions,so in case you would like to share them, go ahead and respond,at your own risk and consequences !
Hope you must have enjoyed these jokes as much as I enjoyed posting them.So laugh away your blues dearies !!
Fantastic imagination. I was/am a fan of Ajit. Anyhow, Rajanikant is our man.
Puttu Kulkarni, Melinakeri-Hegde-581 330 Kumta
Nov 11, 2010
Had a great laugh on this. Thanks for sharing.
Kalyani Kapur, Gurgaon
Nov 11, 2010
Superb, Broca Sir. Recently, I completed reading his biography” The Name Is Rajinikanth”. This one, I heard recently: If Rajnikanth hits you, even google cannot find you. If Rajnikanth lifts his leg, Earth will lose balance. If Rajnikanth utters a punch dialogue, Villain will punch himself 100 times.
Ramesh Anand, Malaysia
Nov 11, 2010
Dear Puttu ji,thanks a lot for your response. Welcome to Ajit Fan Club. Yes Rajnikanth may be your man but now he has crossed all states & become famous here in the North too. Log onto :http://seeingwithc.org/jsblog to see the pictures and post your comments there too.Here is a bonus for you,Puttu: Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
J S BROCA, New Delhi
Nov 11, 2010
Jatinder,you surely know how to keep the fun factor alive in your posts.
Here is one on Rajnikanth from my side :
Spider man,Superman,Batman,James Bond, Ironman, Shaktiman and Krish
all visited Rajnikanth. Do you know which day it was? . . GURU PURNIMA!
Shernaz, Pune
Nov 11th 2010
Dear Kalyani ji ,
I am glad the post brought some smiles on your face.
Here is another one on Rajni; a friend just sms-ed it to me :
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until
Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.
Yet one more on Ajit too :Scene:Ajeet spots one of his is enemies…
Ajeet: Maikal, woh jo admi ghadi pahne tumhe nazar aa rahaa hai,
woh hamara mehman hai.Tum ja kar uske doosre hath mein bhee
gadhi pehna do…phir woh do ghadi ka mehman ho jayega !
J S Broca
new delhi
11th nov 2010
Dear Ramesh, thanks for your response and some lively Rajnikanth-ers. I must read his autobiography for sure now! Here is one a student of mine e-mailed me a while ago: If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google, it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajanikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.” Great, simply great is our Rajnikanth!
J S BROCA, New Delhi
Nov 12, 2010
Sometime abbreviations like A5 give wrong signals. When I was young, our family was residing at No: 1, Akbar Sahib Street, Triplicane, Madras for more than 25 years from the year 1944. My friends used to call me No.1 ASS (A=Akbar, S=Sahib, S=Street). This is a joke from my side in return for your jokes.
Rajaram Ramachandran, Juhu, Mumbai
Nov 12, 2010
Dear Rajaram ji, thanks for your real life joke related to Abbreviations like the one I used (A 5 R 5).Yes, I was once invited to a function and it was clarified that the function was MBBS. I was an Engineer so I thought the function was not for me.Then someone explained to me : MBBS boley tau “Miyaan Bibi Bachchon Sahit” ie come with your husband/wife alongwith your children !! I also wonder why the spelling of this word ABBREVIATION (which means a short form) is so l-o-n-g !!
J S Broca
New Delhi
12.11.10
Dear Shernaz, many thanks for your lively response by adding one Rajnikanth-er to my list.Here is a hilarious death scene stealer from Ajit’s warehouse :Scene:Giving a decision as to how the hero should be killed. Ajeet: Peter, time bomb le aao aur is saale ko usse bandh do. Timer ko teek das bajhe set kar do. Nahin nahin, yeh saala to sub cheez hamesha late karta hai. Iska mauth bhi late hona chahiye. Timer ko panch minute late rakh do. Arre, Raabert, Raabert, bevkoof, silly fellow, time bomb ko yahan peh math rakho, yeh to ‘no-smoking’ area hai. Ha haa ha. Time bomb ‘tic tic tic tic’ karke bajega. Aur iska dil ‘tup tup tup’ karke dhatakega. Tum agar paas me khade hoge to tumko ‘tic tup tic tup tic tup’ suanaai dega”
J S Broca
new delhi
12.11.10
Exceptional stuff, Broca! Enjoyed.
GSP Rao, Hyderabad
Nov 15, 2010
I’d like to say thanks for the time you took writing this article. You have been enlightening for me. I’ve forwarded this to one of my friends.
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