a poor punch line….

a poor punch line…
I heard a delightful sher from a friend yesterday.The original in Hindi was enjoyable because the last line-the punch line -was very apt.I tried to translate it into English but even after many attempts,I did not get an equally or more funny punch line as in the original.
Need I explain what a punch line is ? Well,here it is : 
A punch line is the final part of a joke or a comedy act which is intended to be funny and to provoke laughter from the listeners. For instance, in the following well-known joke:

A man walks into a bar with a duck under his arm.
The bartender asks: “Say, where did you find the pig?”
“It’s not a pig, it’s a duck,” the man answers.
To which the barman replies: “I was talking to the duck.”

Can my dear readers help me…please ?
Please do not take pot shots at me !
original : 
hum guzrey un ki gali sey-
ajab ittefaq tha.
hum guzrey un ki gali sey-
ajab ittefaq tha.
unhon ney fenka hum pey phool-
lekin gamla bhi saath tha.
translation :
i passed down her lane-
it was just a coincidence.
i passed down her lane-
it was just a coincidence.
she threw a flower at me-
but with the pot along with it
(it wasn’t a coincidence ?)
(wasn’t it so indecent ?) 
I hope that the next time I pass through that lane purposely,I will be well prepared to cross it safely.Wish me a safe landing…!!
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8 Responses to a poor punch line….

  1. shernaz says:

    Jitoo,how’s this?

    She threw a flower at me
    along came the pot too…

    Shernaz, Pune
    Aug 30, 2010


  2. chandra mouli says:

    Perhaps you will wear a helmet and pads ala cricketers.Enjoyed,Jitoo ji.Regards.

    TSChandra Mouli, Hyderabad
    Aug 30, 2010

  3. seshu chamarty says:

    I was a lame duck… the pot came as a package she threw a flower . — in a senryu. Thanks, Broca, for those very funny posts. Enjoyed.

    Seshu Chamarty, Hyderabad
    Aug 30, 2010

  4. kannan says:

    How about this? I passed down her street Of coincidence, a feat: I passed down her street Of coincidence, a feat: At me, a flower, she threw At me, a flower, she threw With it was, but, the pot too!

    Kannan G, Anchal
    Aug 30, 2010

  5. charanjeet kaur says:

    Just a small variation: “…. She tossed a flower at me Er,… the flowerpot, actually!”

    Charanjeet Kaur, Thane
    Aug 30, 2010

  6. J S Broca says:

    Dear Shernaz, Mouli ji, Seshu ji, Kanan ji and Charanjeet ji–sincere thanks for your lovely responses and efforts to give me the perfect punch line.. Loved all the different versions…

    J S Broca, New Delhi
    Sep 01, 2010

  7. This is great stuff, its nice to be in the know.

  8. Hey , i’d like to say thank you about this cool article, very helpful to me, Thank You.

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