Pun-ny Haiku….

Pun-ny haiku
I recently read a funny haiku in English, by a poet named- Guy Ben  Moshe.
Who exactly is this Guy ? I will let you know soon. .
Meanwhile,the haiku goes like this :
Bill Gates’ Mom looks
At Zeroes in his income-
“Such a ‘naughty’ boy”

I tried to translate it into Hindi but somehow,I could not catch the flavour of the pun in the original ( zero = naught ).
However, I gave it a slight twist, relying on a Hindi film song about a naughty boy !
Here is my concoction :
Bill Gates Ki Amma
Uski Aamdani Ki Sankhya
Mein Dher Saari Zero
Dekh Kar Boli-
Mera Munda Bigda Jaayey….!
Dikhey Hai Hero-
Parr Aamdani Mein Zero…
Koi Tau Bataavo,
Arrey, Aisa kaahey….. ?
My Muse-ician friends can try to better this effort please !
Keep smiling…..
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5 Responses to Pun-ny Haiku….

  1. tinku says:

    poojyam in malayalam means zero: while poojyan means the revered.

    Tinku, Trivandum
    Jul 31, 2010

  2. atreya sarma says:

    What Tinku says about “Poojyam” is true with the rest of the Indian languages also, since it is a Sanskrit word. In the present “haiku” (which is rather a senryu), the pun is on “naughty” representing a “naught” (zero) as well as suggesting that Bill Gate is “mischievous”, “immoral” or “disobedient”. Most of the puns are unique to the particular language and are un-amenable for translation. However, I try my hand here to convey it in Telugu:

    Bill Gate talli choopu
    Atani aadaayam loni shoonyaala paine
    Shoonya gaadu kadaa mari

    [Bill Gate’s mother looks
    At the “zeroes” in his income
    He’s such a “wizard”]

    In my rendition “shoonyaalu” means “zeroes”; and “shoonya gaadu” means a “wizard” or “manipulator”. “Sunna” is a variation of “Shoonya”. So it comes nearer to the original meaning, I hope. Thank you for the sparkling pun-ny lines and your challenge.

    U Atreya Sarma, Secunderabad
    Jul 31, 2010

  3. raja ramachandran says:

    You have a great sense of humour in your blood. Funny, that has become punny, takes us all to the world of humour. I was laughing at your joke. Thanks.

    Rajaram Ramachandran, Juhu, Mumbai
    Aug 1, 2010

  4. j s broca says:

    Dear Tinku and dear Atreya ji, thanks a lot for educating me about puns in other Indian languages like Malyalam and Telugu. Yes, I agree, most of the times it is difficult to match the original puns in English with words from other languages. Atreyaji your creativity is appreciated !

    j s broca, new delhi
    Aug 1, 2010

  5. seshu chamarty says:

    The pun sums it all, Broca. Enoyed. Kudos.

    Seshu Chamarty, Hyderabad
    Aug 3, 2010

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