Speaking of puns….

Speaking of puns….

I recall having studied and enjoyed figures of speech in our English Grammar and Composition periods in higher classes while in school.Simile,Metaphor,Oxymoron,etc etc.you know.Wren and Martin’s book was the favourite book prescribed then.I still have a copy of it-my proud possession ! 

My most favourite one was of course the Pun,because  it was sheer fun !  

For those who have forgotten its basics,let me tell them that a pun is nothing but a humorous way of  exploiting two words or expressions,sounding the same with two different meanings, usually with two different spellings. 

A Pun is certainly one of the greatest wonders of the English language.I hope most of you will agree.  

I will now try to demonstrate the confusing nature of some English words and phrases. 

I am sure that these examples of funny and clever puns will regale you.You can of course add your own favourites to this list : 

1.A 100% reliable contraception is inconceivable.

2.Poetry written upside-down is inverse,while poetry of very few lines is universal.

3.Mostly,serious campers are intense.

4.You know that time flies like an arrow,while fruit flies like a banana.

5.Here is a suggestion:Sports people can avoid the pain of defeat by wearing comfortable shoes.

6.A girl who screamed and shouted for a pony,got a little hoarse.

7.Nuns generally wear plain colours because,old habits never dye.

8.The days of the pocket diary are numbered.

9.Old bikes should be retired.

10.Geometry holds clues for the meaning of life; look and you will see the sines.

11.If a leopard could cook,would he ever change his pots?

12.See one melée of unruly people and you’ve seen a maul.

13.Do hungry time-travellers ever go back four seconds?

14.You can’t beat a pickled egg.

15. Nut screws washer and bolts. ( A pun-ny headline following a laundrerette sex crime)

16.The food taster left his job because he had too much on his plate.

17.I met the woman of my dreams at the base of Mount Vesuvius and she is the lava of my life.

18.When I first tried the cough syrup,I did not know what to expectorate.

19.I knew my wife was pregnant when she looked at me with fertlilize.

20.I decide which beer to drink on a case to case basis.

21.I was going to buy a book on phobias but I was afraid it wouldn’t help me.

22.I used to do rock climbing as a youth but I was much boulder then.

23.The lights were too bright at the Chinese Restaurant,so the manager tried to dim sum.

24.I have a fear of needles-they really get under my skin.

25.My boyfriend and I started to date after he backed his car into mine-we met by accident. 

I hope you enjoyed this piece as much as I loved posting the puns.Pun-ny aren’t they ? 

Keep smiling.

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17 Responses to Speaking of puns….

  1. dr pooja g bhuyar says:

    From now I shall read my poem thrice and even the title before posting as I am scared of another pun that may add to your list as you are a very keen observer. You put us in a fix by just changing a few letters n adjectives here and there. Nice one. Enjoyed.

    Dr Pooja G Bhuyar, Bijapur
    Jul 27, 2010

  2. atreya sarma says:

    Good puns spun out by a ‘pun’dit.

    U Atreya Sarma, Secunderabad
    Jul 27, 2010

  3. g s p rao says:

    It was good pun going through it!

    GSP Rao, Hyderabad
    Jul 27, 2010

  4. j s broca says:

    Dear Pooja, Atreya ji, Rao ji. Thanks for your lovely responses. Here is a witty poem about a stamp collector which I read sometime ago. Incidentally, I too have been an avid stamp collector till around 1993 or so but after that I could not pursue that hobby due to some other hobbies which gave me more satisfaction. Yes there are puns in this poem too. More such poems are there somewhere in my old diaries. Will start searching them soon to share with you all !

    A stamp collector named Phil
    From licking strange stamps fell quite ill
    If fact, he died rather fatally
    Which is why there has been no philately.

    Keep smiling…..!

    j s broca, new delhi
    Jul 27, 2010

  5. seshu chamarty says:

    Thanks for funny puns, Broca.
    — No point in pencil having an eraser on either end.

    Seshu Chamarty, Hyderabad
    Jul 27, 2010

  6. Sang Allred says:

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  7. s patel uk says:

    Sir, sometimes I feel I will never complete my learning process. Totally enjoyed reading your very funny puns. Warmest regards.

    S Patel, uk
    Jul 28, 2010

  8. raja ramachandran says:

    Not only in English language, puns are available in plenty in every language. Your articles are humourous always, we find. Please continue to throw more jokes like this for us to enjoy and be happy.

    Rajaram Ramachandran, Juhu, Mumbai
    Jul 28, 2010

  9. j s broca says:

    Dear S Patel and Rajaramji, thanks for your feedback. Yes, I feel one continues to learn till the day one dies (and thereafter others learn from his/her life?) and yes other Indian and classical languages do also have puns–my mother tongue Punjabi, for example,is a great source of mirth, because of its rich stock of puns.Puns in languages , I feel are like the “tadka” to a Punjabi daal ! Makes it tastier ! Keep smiling !!

    J S BROCA
    New Delhi
    28th July 2010

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  16. nilouffer says:

    Jatinder,

    The puns were really pun ny; thanks. a couple of puns even came to my mind
    My friend gave me a book on Puns
    I loved it; It was two meaningful…..

    Having my haircut for free,
    Is the only fringe benefit I receive

    I used to hate Maths
    But then I realised decimals have a point…

    Keep reviving our memories; Thanks

  17. Great weblog. I appreciate your amazing work.

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