Recruitment Humour

Recruitment Humour

HRD

How many HR staff does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

Let us forget the recent recessionary trends in the industry in apna desh  

While teaching some MBA students, I met a few who are specializing in HRD ! 

I asked them a simple question : How many HR staff does it take to change a lightbulb?  

I  received some interesting answers :

• One to change the light bulb.
• The second to assess the risk of the light bulb changing process.
• A third to ensure the light bulb changing process adheres to the internal compliance regime for health and safety during light bulb changes.
• A fourth to ensure that the internal purchase order procedures have been adhered with for light bulb change orders.
• A fifth to audit the supply of the light bulb following the internal purchase order procedure.
• A sixth to report back to the compliance and risk functions that the supply and audit divisions had complied with the light bulb change risk and compliance procedures.
• A seventh to monitor that the light bulb was changed by a member of staff who was cleared by the concerned department to be authorised with light bulb changing management.
• And an eighth being the most important………they are responsible for costing the light bulb changing process and being creative enough to incorporate the pricing of the eight people into their customers’ monthly billing statement without their customer noticing.

How to recruit the right person for the job?

 

Here is what is termed as Bricks Recruitment Policy :

 

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window.

  

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.

  

Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.

  

If they are counting the bricks. Put them in the Accounts Department.

  

If they are recounting them. Put them in Auditing.

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order. Put them in Planning.

If they are throwing the bricks at each other. Put them in Operations.

If they are sleeping. Put them in Security.

If they have broken the bricks into pieces. Put them in Information Technology.

If they are sitting idle. Put them in Human Resources.

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved. Put them in Sales.

If they have already left for the day. Put them in Marketing.

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks. Put them in Engineering.

If they are staring out of the window. Put them on Strategic Planning.

And then last but not least.

If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved.

 

Congratulate them and put them in Top Management.

WHOM TO LAY OFF OR NOT…?

 RECRUITMENT OF PILOTS  

The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in a recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby Air Force base be opened, and that all eligible young men and women be invited.

The young man rolls his eyes and says, “So what! I have to chop it before he can pile it!”

 I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed posting these funnies ! Keep Smiling !