Tiger Woods and his mistresses…

I read the following news item with a lot of interest for obvious reasons !
Tiger Woods’ ’19th mistress’ revealed
TIMES OF INDIA 24 January 2010
LONDON: The number of women linked to Tiger Woods has hit 19 after a blonde British mum was claimed to be the latest among his secret mistresses.The married ace golfer reportedly paid 42-year-old Emma Rotherham, who has a daughter of 16 and another of 25, half a million dollars in exchange for her silence. “Emma was his most recent mistress. They had a very, very passionate relationship and she has dozens of text messages and emails from him. Some were even sent while Tiger was trying to patch things up with his wife Elin,” News of the World quoted a source close to Woods as saying. “If those came out they’d bury him. And as she lived near his Florida home in Isleworth she was always on call. They were at it all the time. Emma said Tiger was a great lover. But he never wore a condom, and she didn’t take any precautions. “The 500 grand has now bought Emma’s silence and she has signed a confidentiality agreement. She’s very happy and walking round with a big grin on her face – like the cat that got the cream,” the source added. The World No.1 was said to have checked into a rehabilitation centre for sexual addiction in Mississippi. Woods previously announced he was taking an indefinite break from professional golf after admitting infidelity following the scandal that linked him to as many as 18 mistresses.

Wow ! 18……19…..or more.??…. still not revealed …..!!
The news item made me compose the following lines on this funny and naughty (?) situation :
Tiger Tiger,the golfer bloke
Had a mistress for every hole !
You and me just can manage one,
This Woods guy,has all the fun !
Precise clockwork was his adulterous game
None of his mistresses knew another’s name !
He kept them separate,well oiled and heeled,
Till the rug was pulled from below his feet !
Now he is rightly under a cloud,
None of his kin,now feel so proud.
Oh ! Didn’t he play a very clever game ?
Yes,till he got caught–Oh ! What a shame !! 


This entry was posted in Comments to print media, Humour, People. Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Tiger Woods and his mistresses…

  1. chandrashekhar says:

    Very witty and lovely verse….Sir!

    Chandrashekar, Bangalore
    Feb 02, 2010


    Dear Chandrashekhar ji, Thanks a lot for your appreciation.

    J S Broca, New Delhi
    Feb 02, 2010

  3. jasneet kaur says:

    Hilarious..Thank you for this laugh riot. Warm regards,

    Jasneet Kaur, New Delhi
    Feb 02, 2010

  4. j s broca says:

    Dear Jasneet,thanks for your response.Iam glad it made you laugh.

    j s broca
    new delhi

  5. atreya sarma says:

    Dear Brocaji,
    I append my comments-in-verse.I hope you would like it.

    Tiger, tiger burning bright!
    Prowling galore for sweet gals’ sights
    At every nook and seedy site
    For your beddable bites of might!

    Tiger, tiger burning bright!
    You had your flings day and night
    Some you “putted” with great delight
    By mugging and hugging them tight!

    Tiger, tiger burning bright!
    Some – with wile you’d smite
    As if it’s a matter of your right
    And despoil their frocks of white!

    Tiger, tiger burning bright!
    Pushed them into a gloomy blight
    Shut off from their life every light
    Landing them into a lustful plight!

    Tiger, tiger burning bright!
    Tell me the count of your “lays up” your sleeve
    If you can’t so precisely recall
    How much it is up the “eighteen holes” mark?

    Tiger, tiger burning bright!
    Like an “eagle” did you swoop
    On each “birdie” on your way
    “Fairway,” “rough,” or “other hazards”!

    Tiger, tiger burning bright!
    Wild with your full blown “bogey”
    You did turn every “golf course”
    Into a vast bed of intercourse!

    Tiger, tiger burning bright!
    For your winking and kinky “club”
    Every girl was a bedroom “ball”
    And with every wench did you indulge
    In a sexy series of “stroke play”
    And a raunchy series of “match play”!

    Tiger, tiger burning bright!
    You played the “golf,” you played the wolf
    For all your fame and record “score”
    You still burn bright and bright
    As at every leering turn you’re seen
    With an “albatross” around your neck!

    Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods!
    You’re a player of the “woods”
    Now buried deep into deadwood
    Never you’ll be out of the woods!

    Atreya Sarma
    3rd Feb 2010

  6. j s broca says:

    Dear Atreya ji-fantastic ! You have made a mountain out of my molehill on the tiger.I am sure all other such guys on the prowl will learn a lesson and keep themselves in check and exercise a control on their libido.By the way,there are many joke sites on the internet which take a humourous dig on the golfer and his strokes ! Thanks.I have also posted your piece on my blog !

    j s broca
    new delhi

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