New Year Resolutions….

Funny resolutions for the new year ! 


The New Year is about to dawn. Here is a list of funny resolutions which you can decide to keep (from an old collection of mine)! 

1.From today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my night dress. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

2.I will no longer waste my time relieving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.     

3. I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leave. I will think of some more excuses.

 4. I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.   

5. I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more  water.   

6. I will give up chocolates totally. 100%. Completely. Honestly….  

7. I will try to figure out why I ‘really’ need nine e-mail addresses.   

8. I will stop sending e-mails to my wife (husband).  

9. I resolve to work with neglected children — my own.   

10. I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I’m not  a clock watcher. 

11. I will read the laptop’s manual… just as soon as I can find it.  

12. I will think of a password other than “password.”   

13. I will not tell the same story at every get together. 

 14.I will stop considering other people’s feelings when they obviously don’t consider mine – if that unwashed fellow  sits next to me again, I’ll tell him he stinks!  

15. I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.
The list is only illustrative, not exhaustive. Add your own to the list. 


For those of you who are scared of making resolutions, here are some resolutions which you may be actually tempted to keep!!  

a) Spend more time watching TV / movies.

b) Chat more over phone / Internet.

c) Gain weight. Put on at least 10 kgs.

d) Stop exercising. Waste of time.

e) Start being superstitious.

f)  Spend more less time at work.

g) Stop carrying lunch from home. Instead eat out more.  

This list is also indicative. Add your own ! 

H A P P Y   N E W   Y E A R 

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13 Responses to New Year Resolutions….

  1. seshu chamarty says:

    Wonderful resolutions, Broca ji. My resolution is not to make any resolutions and I am going to keep it up 🙂 Happy New Year 2010.

    Seshu Chamarty, Hyderabad
    Dec 31, 2009

  2. g s p rao says:

    Good ones Brocaji. I will add just one to my list – at least smile sometimes. Regards,

    GSP Rao, Hyderabad
    Jan 01, 2010

  3. t s chandra mouli says:

    Dear Jatinder ji, Thanks for the suggestions.May I add one, pl? Never run after chicken, Some one else is interested .Happy New Year. Best.

    T S Chandra Mouli, Camp: Mysore
    Jan 01, 2010

  4. jasneet kaur says:

    Respected Sir, Wish you a very happy and prosperous new year.Thank you very much for sharing these witty resolutions with us, now we can welcome 2010 with grins and smiles. Warm Regards.

    Jasneet Kaur, New Delhi
    Jan 01, 2010

  5. dr pooja says:

    Jitoo Uncle, My resolution will be to keep a watch on others and their resolutions and in case they fail in keeping them up, I shall for sure treat them with my medicines and turn them in such a way that they forget the very meaning of resolution !!!. How is my idea? Wish you a great year ahead.

    Dr Pooja G Bhuyar, Bijapur
    Jan 02, 2010

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