THE CASE OF THE CURIOUS CHICKEN -PART II

THE CASE OF THE CURIOUS CHICKEN -PART II
 
Continuing where I left in my earlier posting (Part-I) , I now try to list some more answers to the famous question :”Why did the chicken cross the road? .
 
This,as you by now know, is a very common question,but each one of us has,or will have a different answer ( See the responses to the earlier part).
  
Today I will try to list out some “fictitious” responses of some common people and some famous people (some from an old school diary of mine) . Sample these responses! ( comments in brackets are my current observations.):
 
A SCHOOL TEACHER:
To get to the other side, of course. ( a very obvious,logical and an acceptable answer)

PLATO:
For the greater good, of mankind.( I wonder what good would it serve ! Can someone enlighten me ?)

ARISTOTLE:
It is in the nature of chickens to cross roads.So they will always cross when ever they see a road.Simple ! (Quite logical !)

KARL MARX:
It was a historical inevitability. ( Does it mean that history keeps repeating it self and that chickens have been crossing the roads in all periods of history ? I wonder !)

A LEADING WORLD FAMOUS CONSULTANT:
Deregulation of the chicken’s side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. We, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking it’s physical distribution strategy and implementation process.Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), we helped the chicken use it’s skills, methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences to align the chicken’s people, processes and technology in support of it’s overall strategy within a Program Management framework.We convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with our other  consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear and unified market message and aligned with the chicken’s mission, vision and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution paradigm.(They say that an expert is one who knows more and more about less and less.This long wound technical note can be a topic for a PhD ! )

LATE SADDAM HUSSEIN:

It was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on the chicken to prevent several other chickens following the leader ! ( Where was PETA then I wonder ?)

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. ( A good philosophy I believe !)

MOSES :

Moses walked to the crowd of bystanders and addressed them thus : “And God came down from the Heavens, and he said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.” And the chicken crossed the road, …and there was much rejoicing.” ( This means that crossings were ordained by divine forces ? )

RICHARD M. NIXON:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken DID NOT CROSS THE ROAD ! ( I shall speak only the truth nothing but the truth and nothing but the whole truth ! ??)

MACHIAVELLI:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.(The end justifies the means or what ? A good theory ! )

JERRY SEINFELD:

Why does anyone cross the road? I mean, why doesn’t anyone ever think to ask, “What the heck was the chicken doing wandering around all over the place anyway?”( All species like to be enterprising,I feel !)

FREUD:

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road,reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.(Ha! Ha! Quite a revelation,no ? )

BILL GATES:

I have just released the new Chicken Office 2010 (with integrated Internet Seed Explorer), which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.( Lets call it Chicken Coop Windows 10 !)

OLIVER STONE:

The question is not, “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Rather, it is, “Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?” ( A very intelligent observation ! )

DARWIN:

Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are genetically disposed to cross roads.(Darwin was an authority on origin of species,so I take his word !)

EINSTEIN:

Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.( Well said.Theory of relativity,you know !)

BUDDHA: Asking the question denies your own chicken nature.( Frankly speaking, I could not understand what the great sage is implying.Care to guide me,please,someone ?)

RALPH WALDO EMERSON:

The chicken did not cross the road…it transcended it. ( Emerson’s quotes are quite meditative !)  

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. ( Quite an authoritarian view, I believe !)  

 
By the way,there are many books published by many writers on this common topic with many such funny and uncommon answers ! I am trying to find out one by an Indian writer. I wonder,if Khushwant Singh ever wrote one or tried to write one, since he is quite well known for his fascination with chicks of various shapes ans sizes ! Ha !!
 
More in my next chapter ! Till then taste this heady con-cock-tion ! Cheers ! Cock-a-doodle-doo !
 
 
 
 
 
 
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39 Responses to THE CASE OF THE CURIOUS CHICKEN -PART II

  1. shernaz wadia says:

    A truly delicious brew, Jitoo. Had fun reading it. Thanks. Even I want to know – Why the heck are you so interested in the poor chicken crossing the road? Can’t you leave it alone after all these decades? Anyway, now that you have started us off on this humorous trip, let’s have some more. Warm regards,

    Shernaz, Pune
    Dec 09, 2009

  2. j s broca says:

    Dear Shernaz,thanks for your prompt response.Recently, I happened to read a motivational book titled “Chicken Soup For The Soul ” (search it on Google to know more from Wikipedia’s site ) and the thought process led me to the subject of chickens and then gradually to this conundrum which has been fascinating me for years.See how our minds work ! Yes, I am writing a third chapter too and shall post it soon,hopefully by next week once I have had a few bowls of chicken soup in the cold evenings and fortified myself with the energy to see me through.GBU ! Keep smiling !

    J S Broca
    New Delhi
    09.12,09

  3. atreya sarma says:

    Dear Brocaji,

    By “For the greater good of mankind,” Plato must have meant that the meat-eating humans are the beneficiaries with the chicken readily and willingly helping themselves onto their ravenous platters.

    Now you may include John F Kennedy also in the galaxy of your respondents. He would have said: “Ask not what the chicken has crossed the road for, but ask what for you’ve chickened out and stayed behind.”

    Why should you leave the book writing to Khushwant Singh, when your own chick-ken is of an amazing range? And employ all the chickens to cross and criss-cross the roads to ballyhoo your book!

    Thank you for the scintillating and hilarious fare. Warm regards.

    U Atreya Sarma, Lincoln, NE, USA
    Dec 09, 2009

  4. DR POOJA says:

    Jitoo Uncle, Very hilarious. A few people listed here are unknown to me. So much of research you have done. Do you think you would have studied so hard if you had taken up higher studies after engineering? You know something, jab bhi raat ko chick zor se roti hai to uski maa bolti hai cheeku soja varna jitoo paji ayenge aur tujhe road cross karayenge, wo bhi bina signal ke, tujhe kisi mahan hasti ke paas bhej denge research ke liye. Good research, Uncle. Coool. Best wishes.

    Dr Pooja G Bhuyar, Bijapur
    Dec 09, 2009

  5. t s chandra mouli says:

    Jatinder ji, Great read. I was just wondering how it will be if you perform on stage! Cheers.

    T. S. Chandra Mouli, Hyderabad
    Dec 09, 2009

  6. Thank you! You often write very interesting articles. You improved my mood.

  7. J S Broca says:

    Dear Mouli ji,Iam indeed thankful to you for sparing some time to respond to my posting.Yes,I quite liked your suggestion to enact this on stage.Which role would you like to take up for your self ? Do read my first posting on the subject (Part-I) .I am sure you will enjoy that piece too

    j s broca
    new delhi
    10.12.09

  8. J S Broca says:

    Dear Pooja,thanks a lot for your scinitllating response.Your bed time horror story being told by mother hen to her daughter chicken was a nice take on GabbarSingh of Sholay fame.I enjoyed it.Keep smiling !

    J S BROCA
    New Delhi
    10.12.09

  9. J S Broca says:

    Dear Atreyaji,I am pleased to have your hilarious response on the subject matter.I am thinking of collecting all the answers and responses and coming out with a small booklet as a user’s hand book to this question.I hope it will find some takers.Thanks !

    J S BROCA
    new delhi
    10.12.09

  10. J S Broca says:

    Dear Readers,

    Here is a posting from Dr Mallick ji :

    Poetry

    By Kumarendra Mallick, Dec 10, 2009
    Hyderabad, mallik_ku@yahoo.com

    Why did the chicken cross the road!

    (J S Broca has taken up a crusade to find from the dead and the living as to why the chicken crossed the road… answer I do not know too. But here are my guesses!)

    Why did the chicken cross the road!
    neither you nor I know,
    there are several possibilities though..
    perhaps JS expressed his fervent wish
    to have with her a swirling Bangra,
    the poor thing rushed to her home
    on the other side of the road
    to dress up in choli and ghagra..

    Without sufficient knowledge
    in French and sanskrit to understand poetry
    posted on Your Space of Muse India,
    the poor thing perhaps decides to make a trip
    to meet Atreya Sarma and Varanasi Rama..

    Not able to crack the nut of philosophy
    of Sumathi or Vemana or Kabir or Tulsi,
    the poor chicken wants to visit Vizag
    for an evening with Satyanand Rishi
    and turn to north to meet Sunil Maharshi

    She is in touch with Shernaz, Lina, Gopa and Mamta
    and waiting for replies from Pooja, _kala and Uzma,
    Avril in distant Israel and Rassool in South Africa
    to book her return journey back to Hyderabad
    for a possible afternoon with GSP, Mouli and Ambika
    for a course on how to write story, poetry and tanka

    Kumarendra is out of town,
    Seshu, Srinu, Chandrashekar,
    Rakesh, Supriya and Suman
    are ever ready to receive her…

    In anticipation of her tour
    the chicken, a poor soul,
    with some anxiety and some fear
    has decided to cross the line of control..

    Or, perhaps there is another valid reason,
    in order not to spread chicken gunia
    among fellow men, the noble chicken
    moves into isolation, with full knowledge
    that she has miles to go the mankind to salvage…

  11. J S Broca says:

    Dear Readers,
    This is my response to Dr Mallick’s poem :

    Dear Mallickji, thanks a lot for sparing some time from your tight schedule to ponder on my poser and come out with some possible reasons as to why the hell did the chicken cross the road.Your version is hilarious and you have thrown the ball across the court of several other Muse-icians.I loved your repartee.I hope the fever of trying to find out some more reasons will catch on and we will have some more funny responses from our friends on this forum.

    J S BROCA
    NEW DELHI
    10.12.09

  12. J S Broca says:

    Dear Readers

    Here are some delightful responses to Mallickji’s poem :

    Very good and beautiful imaginative piece. We are glad to be part of the verse. Thanks and regards, Dr. Mallick.

    Varanasi Ramabrahmam, Pondicherry
    Dec 10, 2009

    Mallick ji, it is a lovely composition bringing a smile on the faces of the readers. It is so sweet of you to remember me in the poem even though I have not been contributing often. I am rather thrilled to remain etched in your memory, in fact, the poem made my day and cheered me up as I was not in a good mood in the morning. Thank you very much for writing this humorous poem for all the Muse Indians. Regards,

    Supriya Choudary, Hyderabad
    Dec 10, 2009

    Dear Mallickji, Witty, humorous, hilarious…and sonorous too. Are you really out of town? If so, heading a search team to trace the missing chicken? And I confirm that the chicken hasn’t landed in any American airport, as of now. And please get in touch with the Indian police to ensure that the chicken doesn’t try to fly here…for it’s extremely snow-covered to a record density…and so it may not be safe for the tender creature 🙂 Love,

    U Atreya Sarma, Lincoln, NE, USA
    Dec 10, 2009

  13. J S BROCA says:

    Dear Readers
    Here are some more responses to Mallickji’s poem.The chicken mania continues….!

    Mallick, as per your advice I received when you are out of town … Pity, down with Chicken gunia and I recovered just… But enjoyed your poem.
    Seshu Chamarty, Hyderabad
    Dec 12, 2009

    Sir, Had it come to me, I would have checked the chicken in detail and opined as to whether the chicken is fit to cross the road or not. In case futher investigations would be necessary, I would have sent the blood sample for chikungunya test and also for swine flu test because recently Jitoo Uncle told all of us about the love affair between the chicken and the pig. Very hilarious. I enjoyed. Warm wishes.
    Dr Pooja G Bhuyar, Bijapur
    Dec 11, 2009

    Kumarendra sir, Due to connectivity problem, I could not read this humourous and hilarious poem written by you. Last night my daughter telephoned me and told about it. I am so grateful to you for giving me a prime place in this poem and making me a rishi. I am so grateful to you for your love and affection. I thoroughly enjoyed the poem which also reveals your other dimension in humour. Warmest regards sir.
    Ch J Satyananda Kumar, Visakhapatnam
    Dec 11, 2009

    Mallick gaaru, your poem is very humorous, hilarious, interesting, innovative and above all surprising. I am totally thrilled and overwhelmed to know that Mallick sir still remember my name (Btw I believe Rakesh in your poem is me!!). As always great piece from your pen, Sir. I am worried about the situation of that chicken if it comes to me. Because I am a big non veggie!! As this chicken is part of beautiful Museindia family I can spare this.
    Rakesh Reddy, Hyderabad
    Dec 10, 2009

  14. lina mistry says:

    Dear Brocaji, Nice and very funny….you reflected all the famous people.. Regards,

    Lina Mistry Tandel, Varginia, USA
    Dec 11, 2009

  15. J S BROCA says:

    Dear Linaji , thanks for your lovely response.I am glad that you found it funny and enjoyed it.Read Part-I of the case also.You will like it too.Watch out for part III as well shortly !

    J S Broca
    new delhi
    12.12.09

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