Hidden meanings

Hidden meanings !  (Fiction)

(In a lighter vein.No malice intended)

It is believed that women are a complex species.
Understanding women, is also an equally complex art as well as a complex science.
I have been compiling a list of some words frequently used by women,but whose real or intended meaning has been eluding me,since quite some time.

Here is a glossary of some words which women very often use and whose hidden meanings,we men, are at a loss to understand.
Please note : The list is only illustrative and not conclusive or exhaustive ! Also, the listing is at random and the numbers don’t indicate rank etc.
In case you would like to add some more words from your own experience,you are welcome !
See and add to the list at your own risk !

1.)”Paanch minnat ” (Five Minutes) : If she says these words, while she is getting dressed, it  means at least half an hour.Five minutes is only five minutes if you have been given five more minutes to watch a game on TV before you wear the apron and start helping around the house in her chores like washing the dishes etc.

2.) “Achcha“ (Fine ): This is a word women use mostly to end an argument when they know they are right and you need to shut up. Got the hint ?

3.)”Kuchch Nahin” (Nothing) : Be warned.This is only the calm before the storm.It means something, and you should be on your toes and watch the signals. Arguments that mostly begin with “Nothing” usually end with “Fine”.

4.)”Chalo Aagey Badho“ (Go Ahead) : This means she is daring you, not granting you permission. Don’t ever do It!

5.) “ Haaye” (A loud sigh) : When uttered it is actually a word, but it is a non-verbal statement which is mostly misunderstood by us men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about “Nothing”. (Refer back to point 3 for the meaning of ‘nothing’.)

6.) “Theek Hai” (That’s Okay) : It is one of the most explosive and dangerous statements a woman makes to a man. ‘That’s okay’ means she wants to think long and hard before she decides and comes to a conclusion as to how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) ”Shukriyaa“(Thanks) : When a woman is thanking you, do not question her thanks or faint at her utterance. Just say “ you’re welcome”(whether you welcome her really or not).

8.) “Jo Bhi Hai” (Whatever) : As per her encyclopedia it is her way of saying ’ to hell with it’ !

9.) ” Chintaa Mat Karo.Maine Karr Liya.” (Don’t worry about it, I got it ) : This is another equally dangerous statement, meaning that this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This later definitely results in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to point 3.Then just r..u..n !

Happy reading and figuring the complexities….!!


   
                                   
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16 Responses to Hidden meanings

  1. shernaz wadia says:

    Here’s one from me – how daft can they (men, obviously) get!! Meaning – they are deliberately super daft (when they want to be at their annoying best) and even Job would be at the end of his patience, what to talk of us poor women!!

    Kudos to the only battle! without which life would be dull and listless.

    Shernaz, Pune
    Dec 06, 2009

  2. atreya sarma says:

    Dear Brocaji, I shudder to venture a guess as to where these innuendoes and insinuations are going to land you…they could be getting at your throat and braying for your blood. And my sister over there could force you into wishing for a “role reversal” not just for nine months but for nine lives. And words or no words, women have that sixth sense and intuition to bare the thoughts and feelings of a man even with a stony cold face, just in a jiffy. All the same, thank you for the opportunity to us of going to witness a battle royal. Warm regards.

    U Atreya Sarma, Lincoln, NE, USA
    Dec 06, 2009

  3. seshu chamarty says:

    Enjoyed.Very true, Broca ji. Also I tell from my own experience: you wanted it before–means I had no option; didn’t WE want–means I have to take it; let’s go by your decision –means I had no choice, do whatever -means come home I will see your end; let us talk about this tomorrow—means I have to stop in my tracks right there; go ahead –means from then on it is my baby; I am not at all upset—also means my Dooms Day, you look very man like –means I needed a shave badly and come out with formals and lastly, I heard something –means are asleep so quick? Then where is man’s equality?

    Seshu Chamarty, Hyderabad
    Dec 06, 2009

  4. DR POOJA says:

    Jitoo Uncle, I have more for you from my store.

    Mai sab samajti hu : I know every minute secret about you. You need not lie to me now. Just wait and watch if the broom shall remain in the corner or get out of that place.

    Chup raho: If you dare talk even a single word, you will have to pay heavily. Just think twice before you attack me with words.

    Mai jaa rahi hu: She is warning the man now. Last warning! She is indirectly stating that she will come back only when she unveils everything about him to everyone. The man should be smart enough to confess there and then itself, or else he may have to bow down to everyone for her to return.

    Ajee sunte ho? : (Today I am letting out the secret to all men.) Never think that she is paying so much of respect. Beware! She is going to demand something very high. This is her plan to put holes in her husband’s pocket. Itni pyaar se pukaregi na, ki uska pati apna jaydaat bechke, jab kaafi na hua to ados pados se bhi udhar leke uski maang poori kardega. He will then say it was better if she had addressed me as she does daily (In a yelling tone) !!!

    Ek baar bolu to samaj mein nai aata kya? : She says this because, she has demanded for something difficult from her husband, but expects no questions from him in return regarding the same. He needs to understand once for ever and fulfill her demand. Be it anything.

    Tum chup raho ji: In a bitter conversation, especially if there is some conflict between the lady and her mother-in-law, and if the lady says this, it means she is asking her husband to shut up, warning him that he will never be given a chance to speak in this battle. ( Samajne walon ko ishara kaafi hai ).

    Hum aap se bahut pyaar karte hai: This is the most dangerous one. Generally after marriage no wife says this to her husband ( almost 90 % ). She says this when her husband’s colleague ( a beautiful girl ) calls him for lunch or dinner. I said this to be very dangerous because I am warning the man again not to trust her words because if he agrees to go out for lucnh or dinner with that girl, then his wife may immediately change the text, tone and expression !!!

    Meri kamar mein dard hai: It is a sophisticated way of asking her husband to do household work. (Kachra saaf karne se lekar kapde sukhane tak).
    Note : She will not take any medications or apply any balm when she says this. Just watch and check out !!!

    Dr Pooja G Bhuyar, Bijapur
    Dec 06, 2009

  5. J S Broca says:

    Dear Shernaz, Atreyaji, Seshu ji and Pooja,I am really delighted at your responses.
    I feel I have touched a raw nerve some where or have opened a Pandora’s Box or have stirred a hornet’s nest.Yes,the married,the unmarried all have added their choicest list of words to my list of words indicating that all of us have had such experiences with the species concernedfor better or for worse.”
    Agar shaadi nahi hui tau kya,baraat mein tau gaye hain !” Yes, some times we need a forum to vent out our feelings and I think this posting of mine has given the readers a chance to express their views.Dear friends, I am in the same boat as well, so I hope that I have neither rocked my boat nor been
    the cause of rocking someone else’s boat. Happy sailing through the sea !
    J S Broca
    New Delhi
    6th Dec 2009

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  16. nilouffer says:

    Jatinder ji,

    Hidden Meanings where womanspeak is concerned, I found hilarious and to an extent true too. I think its more to keep men on their toes so to speak….
    I seem to think Men and Women tend to use language for different reasons. women to hold relationships together while men use it as a means and not an end. Men dont always hear everything you are saying, which means hes not always getting your message!!! Men generally use words which is also doublespeak just to show his superiority. A man will say Im fine …even if he was tortured ..He doesnt want to show his weakness; he doesnt want you to think he is a weed and needs your support. Men are action driven; he gives more weightage to what he does than what he says. All in all I think “Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.”

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