Taxes All the Way……

Taxes All the Way !!
I have just received a copy of my acknowledgement from Income Tax Department in support of me having filed my income tax return for the Assessment Year 2009-10,through my Chartered Accountant friend.
I am happy that after my retirement from my bank job, I am now relieved of this tedious annual duty ! However, I am not sure how long my happiness will remain as happiness, for, tomorrow they may announce some new taxes on persons above 60 !!
Government is always in need of funds and what better source than its poor old citizens whom they can squeeze as long as they are alive ? Alive, did I say ? No, they can even continue to tax us after our death !!
I was reminded of several funny quotes on the subject of taxes.If you are under tension like me,because of taxes,then read on and relax and yes- laugh ( not laugh,but chuckle quietly, I would say, for, if the income tax man hears you laughing,he may ask the Government to tax laughter too ! ) :
The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.
Certainty? In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes.
The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers with the least amount of hissing.
The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax.
The tax collector must love poor people, he’s creating so many of them.
I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?
The only difference between a taxman and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

It’s income tax time again, dear friends: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta. 
There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him.
The point to remember is that what the government gives it must first take away.
There may be liberty and justice for all, but there are tax breaks only for some.
Taxes grow without rain.
Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.
Rich bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income.
Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.
If you are truly serious about preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract – teach him to deduct.
OK dear friends, thats enough for today or the Government may decide to fix a quota for number of quotes a man can quote in a day without paying any tax.Ha ! Ha !!
However,even if I have to pay some penalty, I cannot refrain from posting a funny little poem I had read in my college days. Here it goes:  
A  Funny Poem on Taxes !
Tax his land, tax his wage,
Tax his bed in which he lays.
Tax his tractor, tax his mule,
Teach him taxes is the rule

Tax his cow, tax his goat,
Tax his pants, tax his coat.
Tax his ties, tax his shirts,
Tax his work, tax his dirt

Tax his chew, tax his smoke,
Teach him taxes are no joke.
Tax his car, tax his grass,
Tax the roads he must pass

Tax his food, tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.
Tax his sodas, tax his beers,
If he cries, tax his tears

Tax his bills, tax his gas,
Tax his notes, tax his cash.
Tax him good and let him know
That after taxes, he has no dough

If he hollers, tax him more,
Tax him until he’s good and sore.
Tax his coffin, tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he lays

Put these words upon his tomb,
“Taxes drove me to my doom!”
And when he’s gone, we won’t relax,
We’ll still be after the inheritance tax !!

Ah ! I hear the doorbell ringing ! Could it be my postman friend bringing the much awaited refund order from IT Department ?
Sorry, it turned out to be my CA’s young trainee.He has come to collect his fee ! He is my friend you see !!
Bye then,till the next assessment !! 
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2 Responses to Taxes All the Way……

  1. atreya sarma says:

    Brocaji, Once again you’re at your inventive best. Taxes are a never-taxing topic to wax eloquent on.

    And every FM coaxes the Parliament into levying new and more taxes. He could tax you for what you do or did, for what you don’t do or didn’t do. We don’t mind heartily paying taxes, if only the government assures that every paisa goes into real development.

    We, Indians, are constantly told to forget our ‘dead past’ as if there can be ‘living’ past. Now I understand why. They debunk our past (not the past of the West), for they don’t like to follow what Chanakya aka Kautilya had to sweetly say on taxes: “Taxation should not be a painful process for the people. There should be leniency and caution while deciding the tax structure. Ideally, governments should collect taxes like a honeybee, which sucks just the right amount of honey from the flower so that both can survive. Taxes should be collected in small and not in large proportions.”

    By the way, Brocaji, I feel you got a taxidermist wrong, for he certainly doesn’t leave the skin, he rather lives on it, by mounting it and stuffing it.

    Anyway, our moral is:

    With that inevitable tax, don’t ever be lax,

    For you could come heavily under the axe.

    (Atreya’s copyright!)

    To conclude, thank you Brocaji once again, for your relaxing taxonomy of taxes.

    [Doesn’t my response qualify for some space on your Doodle, provided it’s tax-free?!]

    U Atreya Sarma, Greenfield, Wisconsin
    Sep 24, 2009

  2. J S BROCA says:

    Dear Atreya ji, thanks a lot for your prompt and hilarious response. I am posting it below my article on my blog ! You certainly deserve the tax-free exposure !!

    J S Broca, New Delhi
    Sep 24, 2009

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