professional limitations


Sometime ago, I had read a funny matrimonial ad in a news paper. The ad went thus:” A girl with forty acres of land, wishes to marry a boy owning a tractor. Please send a photograph of the tractor…..”.A girl from an agriculturist family has her own specifications and limitations. 

That set me thinking about other professionals in different fields. A professional knows his own job and his limitations much better than others. Lets just imagine various professionals drafting their own ads for the matrimonial market! How would their ads read like? Here are a few samples. No malice intended please. Enjoy them with a pinch of salt! 

A Banker: ” Wanted a bride with principles, who takes interest in me, credits me with her service but does not debit my saving bank account with huge shopping bills….”

A Doctor: ” I have been recently injected with a strange love-bug or bacteria, making me desirous of matrimony. I am in search of a girl who is patient and has deep knowledge of various ills and pills, is religious-minded and keeps away from all sins such as anacin, metacin, crocin etc. I promise to be a good husband with no side effects. Apply care of…….”

A Car Mechanic: “Wanted a sturdy girl, in good working condition. Should be above average and must be able to run home at a good speed. Dents will not be tolerated, specially in head-gear. Mobile number ………”

A Lawyer :” I hereby beg to submit my application as an eligible candidate for the post of a husband after marriage. The person whom I am looking for must be a girl and strictly a girl. She should be ever willing to submit and surrender herself to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. Any objection will be over-ruled and will not be sustained. Apply in confidence to Box Number…if you have the confidence of meeting the stiff laws.

An Alcoholic:” Wanted a sober girl. Her father should preferably have his own soda factory. I am an occasional alcoholic and drink only when friends come home. Friends come home seven days a week. Girl must also know how to carry me from bar to bar to ghar-baar. Meet personally and send soda sample for trial. Sample must be ample…..”

A Shayar :”       Badi muddaton key baad ek arzoo jagi hai,

                             Ki hum bhi shaadi shudaa ho jaayein,

                            Kya wajah hai shaadi karaane ki,

                            Lo kahey detey hain sahi sahi,

                           Yaaro,abb khud sey kaam ghar ka hota nahi ”  

Readers can try drafting similar ads on behalf of other professionals and join the bandwagon!!     

E..N..J..O..Y !! 

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22 Responses to professional limitations

  1. Satyananda says:

    Broca saab, enjoyed your humourous write. Kudos.

    Ch J Satyananda Kumar, Visakhapatnam
    Jul 31, 2009

  2. seshu chamarty says:

    Brocaji, you are setting museindia on fire with your humor.Thanks for the laughs.

    Seshu Chamarty, Hyderabad
    Jul 31, 2009

  3. Dr Pooja G Bhuyar says:

    Jitoo Uncle,
    Kasam khuda ki, kya professionals hai. I am tempted to professionalise some profession in the terms applied by you. I shall try tomorrow and post it. Till then keep your fingers crossed.

  4. atreya sarma says:

    Dear Brocaji, Very amusing; you’ve used the apt lingo in every case. A couple of more immediate cases for your consideration:

    Teacher: “Looking for a beautiful bride that would always say “Yours obediently,” and should do the allotted homework and exercises well, and, if warranted, impositions as well besides the usual compositions. She should always get first grade in the tests I set for her.”

    Poet: “Are you my beloved bride, my dream girl? So surely you would look like a fairy. You would appreciate my stress and my penchant for beautiful figures and images. “Oh, wow! Wonderful! Superb! None like you! You’re the poet of the millennium!” like that and more you would lionize me. And you would respect my undiluted poetic licence. You wouldn’t mind my romantic poems on and interaction with other lovely belles. Students of literature will be preferred. Being computer savvy is desirable.”

    Warmest regards.

    Atreya Sarma U, Secunderabad-56
    Jul 31, 2009

  5. apurva says:

    Very very funny…nice read Broca sir. Best wishes,

    B.Y. Apurva, Secunderabad
    Jul 31, 2009

  6. lina mistry says:

    Dear Brocaji, Very funny write up….Good one. Regards

    Lina Mistry/Tandel, Varginia, USA
    Aug 01, 2009

  7. J S BROCA says:

    Dear Satyananda ji,Seshuji,Atreyaji,Apurvaji, Linaji, –thanks a lot for your response. If you all have smiled, my purpose is served. Keep smiling please.

    New Delhi
    1st August 2009

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