Emerging “isms” of the new economy

Emerging ‘isms’ of the New Economy
(from :managementparadise.com)
Sometime back,I had read these hilarious new “isms”.I reproduce them for your reading pleasure !
You have a 1000 poor cows. You put them on a nice campus, & send them one at a time to the US for milking.

GE has a cow. You take 49% of the milk.

Intel has a Goat. Samsung has a Camel. Buy milk from both & sell it as Cow’s milk.

You have old stubborn cows. You sell them as pet dogs to innocent small businessmen.

You have a cow. Force the world to buy milk from you. Spend a million dollars to feed poorer cows.

Microsoft makes horse shoes. You nail them to your cows & wonder why they don’t run fast.

You have a bull. It doesn’t give milk. You hate Microsoft.

You have a cow. You don’t know which side to milk, so you sell tools to help milk cows.

You don’t have a cow. You sell milking solutions for cows implemented by milking consultants.

You have a cow. You sell iMilk.

You have a cow. You spend $50 mn to develop the world’s thinnest milk.

Welcome to Citibank. If you have a cow, press 1. If you have a bull, press 2…stay on line if you’d like our customer care to milk it for you.

You don’t know if what you have is a cow. You sell complete milking solutions through authorised resellers only.

You have a donkey. People think you have a 100-year old cow. If someone finds out, that’s his imagination at work.

You don’t yet have a cow. You sell empty cans to people for Rs. 501, because Dhirubhai wanted everyone to have milk.

You have a very old cow. You re-brand it as TATA Indicow.

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11 Responses to Emerging “isms” of the new economy

  1. Dr Pooja G Bhuyar says:

    Jitoo Uncle,
    Bada maza aya padhke.
    I have one,

    You have a cow. You are confused whether it yields petrol or electronic goods,
    But finally says, Jai Bharat Petroleum Ltd ki aur jai BPL electronics ki,
    Aadhe log petrol khareedo, aadhe log tv aur fridge khareedo, aur baaki hamare saath aao.

    Hope it added some -ism……

  2. nilouffer says:

    Jitoo ji,

    That was great reading.You must have a fantastic collection and we readers are lucky. It was great fun to read specially the Citi Bankism, Reliance ism and Tataism.

    Thanks for sharing.

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