SHE,ME & M…….!!
( In a lighter vein )
Clue: She = A gorgeous girl , Me = I or even you , M = Marketing fundas.
The other day,I was invited to participate in a Seminar on Marketing, by a reputed B-School. Long long ago (1979) I had studied about Marketing while pursuing a course in Management (PGDBM).Today (2009) after 30 years, a lot of new things and so called ” fundas” have been added to my knowledge.
Here is a humourous take on what these latest fundas are :
M-1 : Direct Marketing
Me sees She at a party.
Me goes up to her and says :
” Me very rich . Marry Me !”
This is DIRECT MARKETING !!
M-2 : Advertising
Me is with a group of friends at a party.
Me sees She but before Me goes up to her,
One of Me’s friends goes to her and says :
” He ( meaning Me) is very rich ! Marry Him !
This is ADVERTISING.
M-3 : Tele-Marketing
Me sees She at a party.
Me goes up to her and
Gets her telephone number.
Next day Me rings her and says :
” Hi ! I am very rich ! Marry Me !! ”
That is TELE-MARKETING.
M-4 : Public Relations
Me sees She at a party.
Me gets up,straightens my tie,
Walks up to her,
Fetches her a Cold Drink,
While leaving,Me opens car door for she
And asks : ” Will you marry Me ?”
This is PUBLIC RELATIONS.
M-5 : Brand Recognition
Me is at a party.
Me sees She.
Before Me can think of something,
She walks up seductively to me and says :
“You are very RICH ! Can you marry me ?”
That was BRAND RECOGNITION !!
M-6 : Customer Feedback .
Me sees She at a party.
Me goes up courageously to She and says :
” I am very Rich. Marry Me !”
She gives Me a nice hard slap !
That was some CUSTOMER FEEDBACK !!
M-7 : Demand Supply Gap .
Me sees She at a party.
Me goes up to She and says :
” I am very Rich ! Marry Me ! ”
She introduces Me to her Husband !
That’s DEMAND SUPPLY GAP !!
M-8 : Competition / Market Share .
Me sees She at a party.
Me goes upto She,
But before Me musters up courage to say something,
One of Me’s friends rushes up to She and says :
” I am Very Rich ! Marry me !”
That’s COMPETITION EATING INTO YOUR MARKET SHARE !
M-9 : Restriction / New Markets .
Me sees She at a party.
Before Me rushes upto She and can say-
” I am rich,Marry Me “—–
Me’s WIFE arrives !
That’s RESTRICTION FOR ENTERING INTO NEW MARKETS !!
M-10 : Customer Relationship Management.
Me sees She at a party.
Me recognises her and walks upto her.
Me refreshes her memory,
Makes her laugh and giggle and then suggests:
” I am Very Rich ! How about Marrying Me ?”
That’s CUSTOMER RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT !!
M-11 : Hard Selling .
Me sees She at a party,
Me goes upto her,stands straight,
Talks soft and smooth,
Smiles like a dream boy,
Creates an aura around himself
Playing the perfect Mr Gentleman.
Then Me moves closer to She and says :
“Hi ! I am VERY RICH ! How about Marrying Me ?”
That’s HARD SELLING !!
More such fundas in the next posting.
Till then keep attending parties,seeing
some gorgeous girls and discovering
some more fundas of your own,
worth sharing with ME !!
H A P P Y P A R T Y I N G !!
Dear Jatinder jee, I am so impressed with your Marketing ‘fundas’ that I would definitely give you my daughter (preferably gorgeous) in marriage (after checking your bank balance to see if you are really rich!). Unfortunately for you, I am a bachelor and NO! I don’t have a daughter either (gorgeous or otherwise!). What kind of marketing would you call this? Warmest regards,
Gautam Nadkarni, Mumbai
Apr 20, 2009
Imperfect competition or closed market.
Seshu Chamarty, Hyderabad
Apr 21, 2009
Jitoo Uncle, I have one. Modern marketing funda.
Me sees her,
daily crossing the road at 9AM,
Me propose her,
I am very rich, Please marry me,
Her asks the occupation and office details,
Me says, Me CEO of BB Co (Bright Beggars Co),
with branches here and overseas!!!
Uncle, did I make a good funda?
Dr Pooja G Bhuyar, Bijapur
Apr 21, 2009
Seshu, Your wit is disarming. Warmest regards,
Gautam Nadkarni, Mumbai
Apr 21, 2009
Dear Gautamji, thanks for your witty response. Seshu, has very rightly replied to your question. You have already appreciated his repartee!
J S Broca, New Delhi
Apr 21, 2009
Dear Pooja, I think, for a change, my sense of humour seems to be rubbing off on you. Your funda was quite amusing but what exactly was the funda. I feel the girl must have rejected me. I’ll call it Market Rejection of a Product! Keep posting such funny responses.
J S Broca, New Delhi
Apr 21, 2009
Dear Brocaji, You are a very creative writer, beyond the words to express your talent. Regards to you,
Lina Mistry/Tandel, Varginia, USA
Apr 21, 2009
Dear Linaji, nice to hear from you.Thanks for your kind words.
J S Broca , New Delhi
Apr 21, 2009
Dear Brocaji, Thank you for getting back this stuff which has been doing rounds on the net for quite a long time. Best regards.
U Atreya Sarma, Secunderabad-56
Apr 23, 2009
Dear Atreyaji
The stuff on internet is quite vulgar (one which I had seen, long long ago) and not fit for A-Muse-ing readers. So it was served as fresh wine with a dash of lime and a twist of bitters, in brand new and palatable containers. Hope the brew was heady enough to create chuckles and still not cause a hang-over !
J S Broca , New Delhi
Apr 23, 2009