To Deepika…

To Deepika……
 
“Deepika Padukone faces chapati challenge” was a news item in HT of 23rd April 2011.To read the item and my comments on it on website of HT,please go to the following link:
A similar item was there in another news paper DNA.To read the item,see the video and read my comments go to the following link:
However, I was not happy with the comments made on the websites of the newspapers.So I penned a poem on this hilarious situation in Hindi.Here it is :
 
“Actress Deepika Padukone was embarrassed when she couldn’t make a roti for a cooking scene in an upcoming film”.This item was not less than a Breaking News item on the TV as well as in the news media.
  
Here is my take on this situation :
  
Deepika,Deepika,aap kaahey ko rotee ?
 
Agar aap sey,nahin pakti,gol gol roti !
  
Agar aap ki mummy nein kuchch sikhlaya hota,
 
Tau aap key nasseb mein,yeh din naan aaya hota.
  
Haath mein belan,agar bachpan mein thamaya hota,
 
Tau roti kya,parothaa bhi,aap ko banaana aaya hota !  

Badminton racquet chalana,champion life,banaa sakta hai,

Gol gol roti belna,aap ko ek achchi  wife banaa sakta hai. 

Sochney waali yeh bhi, ek aur baat hai,

Ki Sidhdharth Mallya ki aisi kya aukaat hai ? 

Shaadi key baad,kya woh aap sey gharelu kaam karwaayegaa?

Kya aap ko filmon sey nikaal karr,rotiyaan pakkwaayega ? 

Dumm maaro dumm waali Deepika,aap mein hai dumm,

Mallya agar karodpati hai,aap bhi nahin kuchch kumm ! 

Aapkey ek haath mein belan,aur doosrey mein racquet,

Kya jhel paayegaa,woh aap ki double dumm daar taaqatt ? 

Deepika baby,zor laga karr,chalaao apna racquet ya balla,

Ki mach jaaey,saarey Bollywood mein,aisa ek halla ! 

Roti gol naan banney,tau zara naan ghabhraao,

Jhatpat sey fone ghuma karr,dhaabey sey mangwaao ! 

Agar zaroorat aan padey,kabhi rotiyaan banaana,

Sidhdharth sey keh do,piya jee,market sey Roti Maker laana. 

Aap aatey key pedey banaayein,woh machine mein unko dabaayein,

Exercise ki excercise, aur gol gol rotiyaan, sung sung khaayein !! 

Here is a literal translation of the above poem in English : 

Dear Deepika,why are you crying if you cannot make perfectly round rotis (chapatis) ?If your dear mum had taught you something early in your life,you wouldn’t have faced such a situation now.Had she given a rolling pin in your hands instead of a badminton racquet,you would have not only learnt to make rotis,but also to make parothas ! Using a badminton racquet can turn you into a champion in life,but with a rolling pin in your hands,you can roll round rotis and prove yourself to be a dutiful wife. However,there is another side to this story as well.I wonder whether, Sidhdharth Mallya can be so selfish ?After marriage,will he make you do all the household chores? Will he ask you to make round rotis for him ? Deepika,you are the  “Dum Maaro Dum” girl,you have it in you.If the Mallya boy is a millionairre,you aren’t any where less.If you wield a rolling pin in one hand and a racquet in your other hand,will he dare to face your double strength? So,dear Deepika,smash your racquet with such a speed and force so that there is a lot of hullabaloo in the entire Bollywood ! In case you are still cannot make perfectly round rotis,don’t get dis-heartened a wee bit ! Just telephone the friendly neighbourhood dhabha walla and get them delivered to your home. In case,you are still forced to make rotis,tell your dear hubby to buy a Roti Making Machine from the market for you.Then you can just roll the dough into balls while he can press them into the machine to get round rotis.Pressing the lever of the machine,will be an exercise for his biceps and besides you can both share hot and perfectly round rotis together.

Isn’t that a good idea?

 

I am giving links to a few youtube videos for my readers in general and to Deepika in particular so that she can learn a few things about roti making.

1. Roti or Chapati or Pulka/Fulka(Indian soft bread) (By a cookery expert):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwtelJNe7ls&NR=1&feature=fvwp

 
2.Roti Making Lesson (By a housewife):
 
 
3.How to make ROTI / CHAPPATI (By a dhabawalla):
 
4.Puffy Roti at Home (using a Roti Maker machine):
 
I was also reminded about an old Hindi movie titled “ROTI”.Here is a brief story line :  

Bollywood Classic – Roti 1974 – Synopsis – Mangal Singh – Rajesh Khanna, has been a criminal, whose criminal career began by stealing food to keep from starving, and hence got him deeper and deeper into the criminal world. His crimes have caught up with him and he is sentenced to be hanged. He dramatically escapes with the help of an underworld don, Suraj – Pinchoo Kapoor, and is on the run from the police. He lands up in a small village in Northern India, and becomes a school-teacher with the help of a local girl, Bijli – Mumtaz. He takes on the identity of Ramu, a friend of Shravan, and goes to live with Shravan’s parents, Lalaji – Om Prakash and Malti – Nirupa Roy, little knowing that they are the parents of a man he killed while escaping from the police.

I think you will love watching this clip from the movie which was a hit of those times,when Rajesh was billed as a SUPER STAR:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjCP_YujKOQ

Here are some visuals of Deepika and her love life :

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5 Responses
  1. Pranav Joshi says:

    Too good !!This is Mr. Broca I knew 45 years back !!Keep it up !!

  2. I’d like to start my very own blog one day. This was a really nice blog that you made here. Keep up the success

  3. J S Broca says:

    I had posted this piece in MUSE INDIA’s Your Space,but sadly,there were no responses.Hence this is what I posted :

    Dear Readers, this response is just meant to break the jinx of ZERO responses to my posting on Deepika,so far.I try to analyze the reasons.Who is Deepika BTW? What is so great about her? Dozens of girls amongst our friends and relatives as well quite a few amongst our own families cannot make exactly round rotis ! So what ? Is the task of making round rotis the sole criterion to judge the expertise of a girl in the kitchen ? Well, she may be an expert in making vegetable manchurian or dum alloo or even Hyderabadi chicken biryani which may be all mouth watering and finger licking. So praise her for what she is good in.Don’t berate her for what she has not yet mastered.With time,she will improve.Whether she kisses her boy friend in public or not is her own decision.Are you jealous that you don’t or can’t do such a thing ? My my,grow up dears ! Well, I loved posting my take on Deepika ! Whether somebody likes it or not or whether many liked it immensely-I am just not bothered ! So here is this response to break the jinx.I rest my case and am now off to scan the headlines in the newspapers to give me fodder for thought and the material for my next juicy posting.Bye until then !! I will be back-responses or no responses !

    J S BROCA, New Delhi
    Apr 29, 2011

  4. J S Broca says:

    Dear Readers

    My posting is also now on display on YAHOO NEWS website.To see it,go to :

    http://in.news.yahoo.com/deepika-padukone-cant-round-rotis-041411642.html

    Your comments are welcome.

    J S BROCA
    NEW DELHI
    08.05.2011

  5. Terrific, that is just what I was scanning for! Your post just saved me alot of searching around

    I’ll make certain to put this in good use! Bookmarked for the great site

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