Archive for » September, 2020 «

OLD IS GOLD… Shayari….

Author: Sep 21

OLD IS GOLD…


Shayari….


My friend Dr Pooja wrote a lovey-dovey shayari a few days ago and requested me to help her in translating it for benefit of readers who did not understand Hindi.


Gladly, I volunteered to translate it.The result and the feedback from various readers is posted herebelow for you all to see and enjoy !


Poetry


By Dr Pooja G Bhuyar, Sep 18, 2009


Bijapur, pooza_29@yahoo.com


Shayari


Teri masoomiyat pe main apna dil kurbaan kar baitha,


Teri ek haseen ke liye main saaree hadhein paar kar baitha


Meri ek hi tamanna hai ki tu hamesha khush rahey


Na jaane kab tere liye sajdey mein sarr jhuka baitha.


J S Broca’s transliteration:


I sacrificed my heart at the altar of that rare simplicity of yours


I crossed all borders just to glimpse that one sweet smile of yours


I have only one, just one ultimate desire, that you be happy for ever


I don’t know when I bowed down before the Supreme Being.


Comments from readers :


Praying and praying for your welfare, for ever, for ever!! Pooja and Brocaji, It’s pure and tender.


U Atreya Sarma, Greenfield, Wisconsin


Sep 19, 2009


A sincere prayer, good one.


Thara D’Souza, Thiruvananthapuram


Sep 19, 2009


Wah wah! The essence of the shayri is still intact in the translated verse too.


Srinivas Jagirdar, Hyderabad


Sep 18, 2009


Jitoo Uncle, You always let me take the basket of flowers. Thanks for being so good. Deep regards. Dear Jasneet, Thanks for liking my shayari. Best wishes.


Dr Pooja G Bhuyar, Bijapur


Sep 18, 2009


Dear Sanjay, You write very well. I am very happy with the last two lines penned in your verse. Nice thoughts duly framed, romantic at the same time. Have a nice time.


Dr Pooja G Bhuyar, Bijapur


Sep 18, 2009


Dear Pooja, thanks ! Your original is better than my translation, I feel. Keep posting !!


J S Broca, New Delhi


Sep 18, 2009


Respected Dr. Pooja ji, Kudos to your wonderful shayri. An absolute praiseworthy transliteration by Broca sir. Warm Regards.


Jasneet Kaur, New Delhi


Sep 18, 2009


Seshu Uncle, Thank you so much. I thank Jitoo Uncle, who translated my shayari. Best wishes. Satya Uncle, I was expecting a Telugu transliteration by you and see, it’s here. Nice read. Best wishes.


Dr Pooja G Bhuyar, Bijapur


Sep 18, 2009


Kehna Tum se Hai, Tum Apna Khayal Rakhna,


Pooch Lena Mujhse, Naa Mere Liye


Dil mein Koi Sawaal Rakhna Main Yeh Nahi Kehta Ke Sab Kuch Yaad Rakhna,


Jab Hum Mile The Bas Yaad Wo Din,


Wo Ghadi Aur Wo Saal Rakhna Naa Sochna Kabhi Ke Badal Jayenge Hum,


Hum Khawab Nahi Jo App Ki


Aankhon Se Nikal Jaayenge Hum Agar Yakeen Naa Ho To


Mujh Se Meri Zindagi Maang Lo,


Bichha Dena Pyar Ki Baahein,.


Hans Kar Mar Jaayenge Hum Bikhri hui zulfoon ko, girahgeer bana lo;


Rakhna hai mujhe qaid, to zanjeer bana lo;


Kaagaz pe lakeeren, to bahut kheech le tumne;


Ab sab ko mila kar, meri tasveer bana lo.


Sanjay Suman, New Delhi, Sep 18, 2009


Dear Pooja, A nice shayri and an excellent translation by Brocaji. Here I submit the Telugu translation for your perusal and by MI fraternity. Warmest regards.


Here is the Telugu translation:


Arudaina nee niraadambarata anE balipeetampai naa hrudayaani arpinchaanu Nee teeyani chiru navvu choodaalani anni sarihaddulu daati vacchaanu Naaku okkatE, okE okka kOrika, neevu yeppudoo santoshamgaa vundaalani Naaku teleedu eppudu aa sarvonnatuni mundu mokarillanO Nee manchi kosam prardhistoo, prardistoo, eppatiki, mareppatikee


Ch J Satyananda Kumar, Visakhapatnam


Sep 18, 2009


Despite it is tough translating Urdu into English, Brocaji did a commendable job. Praiseworthy expressions, both.


Seshu Chamarty, Hyderabad


Sep 18, 2009


COMPILED BY J S BROCA 21ST SEPTEMBER 2020

Category: Humour, Nostalgia, Social Commentry  Leave a Comment

SUSPENDED COFFEE PLEASE

Author: Sep 21

SUSPENDED COFFEE PLEASE

We enter a little coffeehouse with a friend of mine and give our order. While we’re approaching our table two people come in and they go to the counter: ‘Five coffees, please. Two of them for us and three suspended’ They pay for their order, take the two and leave.

I ask my friend: “What are those ‘suspended’ coffees?” My friend: “Wait for it and you will see.” Some more people enter. Two girls ask for one coffee each, pay and go. The next order was for seven coffees and it was made by three lawyers – three for them and four ‘suspended’.

While I still wonder what’s the deal with those ‘suspended’ coffees I enjoy the sunny weather and the beautiful view towards the square in front of the cafe. Suddenly a man dressed in shabby clothes who looks like a beggar comes in through the door and kindly asks ‘Do you have a suspended coffee?’

It’s simple – people pay in advance for a coffee meant for someone who can not afford a warm beverage. The tradition with the suspended coffees started in Naples, but it has spread all over the world and in some places you can order not only a suspended coffee, but also a sandwich or a whole meal. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have such cafe’s or even grocery stores in every town where the less fortunate will find hope and support ? If you own a business why don’t you offer it to your clients… I am sure many of them will like it.

COMPILED BY J S BROCA


29TH MARCH 2013 / 21ST SEPTEMBER 2020

Category: Comments to print media, Nature, Social Commentry  Leave a Comment

World’s most expensive laptop

Author: Sep 21


World’s most expensive laptop


FE Oct 19 2014


SUMMARY….


The Luvaglio is completely covered in diamonds and platinum on both sides as well as the inside


LAPTOPS ARE meant to be sturdy machines, capable of being carried around on flights, public transport and room to room, generally given a rough time. It’s unlikely that you will do that to your Luvaglio laptop, if you can afford one, that is.


The Luvaglio is custom made to order and comes with a price tag of $1 million, making it the most expensive in the world.


The reason why it is so expensive and will be treated with extra care is that it is completely covered in diamonds and platinum on both sides as well as the inside.


Even the power button is a rare coloured diamond. The specifications and applications are included based on the customer’s request.


In fact, the complete design pattern is in the customer’s hands and they can choose and design their own version in wood, metal, or any other finish. It will still cost the same since even the keys of this laptop are made with genuine diamonds.


In addition, this laptop is entirely handmade and has all the bling you could ever ask for. The standard version comes with a 17-inch wide LED screen with a Blue-Ray drive and a specially-designed anti-reflective glare coating for clear and brighter image.


It has 128 GB of solid state disk space. There is an integrated screen cleaning device and the diamond power button also acts as security identification.


According to Luvaglio, “the brand is committed to redefining luxury in a few sectors, technology being one of them. We have access to diamonds that are simply rare and near impossible to get hold of, so are able to offer a very embodied choice.”


However, what has diluted the claims somewhat is that it is made by a boutique firm based in London, which has no past record of manufacturing computers or related products. The company has not released information on the number of pre-orders it has received, if any, nor sufficient information to confirm that Luvaglio has produced an actual physical product.


However, Gizmag did put out some photographs of the Luvaglio laptop, but the company’s own website offers little information beyond a photograph of the laptop. The company CEO insists that all is above board and the company makes luxury products strictly on a made to order basis, which is why the product is not available off the shelf and even for those who have booked, there will be a waiting period. In other words, wait and watch.


The alternative is the second-most expensive laptop in the world, the Ego Bentley. Ego Lifestyle is known for making ultra-chic, luxury notebooks and they have tied up with Bentley, the king of luxury cars. Priced at $20,000, the Ego Bentley is handmade and the exterior is clad in the finest selection of Bentley leather finished with authentic Bentley cross-over hand stitching. The leather exterior, which matches the deck under the hood, is available in a choice of 10 colours. A chrome handle is built into the chassis, also modelled after a Bentley etching, and the frames around the laptop are made of white gold.


The laptop has a 64-bit version of Microsoft Vista Ultimate, a 160 GB hard drive and is powered by 2GB of RAM and a Mobile AMD TurionTM 64 processor, and comes with a 12-inch high-res screen. Another feature is the Dragon Naturally Speaking voice software because you wouldn’t want to spoil this expensive laptop with fingerprints.


————————————————————————————————


WOW! WOW!! WOW


COMPILED BY J S BROCA


19TH OCT 2014 / 20TH SEPTEMBER 2020

Category: Comments to print media, Nostalgia, Social Commentry  Leave a Comment

PROMOTING MARRIAGE THROUGH FACEBOOK

Author: Sep 20

PROMOTING MARRIAGE THROUGH FACEBOOK


Granny flies from US to marry Facebook friend in Haryana


Vishal Joshi, Hindustan Times


Popra (Karnal), January 30, 2014


Saying good-bye to all worldly comforts, a lovelorn US-born woman came all the way to Haryana’s Popra village to marry her Facebook friend and play the role of a doting Indian wife.


Adriana Peral, 41, is 16 years older to her husband Mukesh Ror. The couple got in touch with each other over social networking website Facebook in February, 2013 and reportedly got married in November.


Peral, who hails from California, was a grandmother back in the US, when she decided to marry Mukesh. Now, the couple wants to fly to the US to see Peral’s mother, daughter and two grandchildren.


Popra is located about 70km from Karnal, adjoining the border of Jind district. Peral told HT that her marriage with a stubborn US navy official did not last long.


“With tears in my eyes, I used to pray in the church to have a caring life partner. I am happily married and want to see Mukesh join some profession and have a nice house in a town,” said Peral, adding that she is still adjusting with the limited amenities at her new house. Meanwhile, the US embassy in New Delhi has refused to entertain Ror’s visa application.


“On January 3, I appeared at the embassy to get a tourist visa but it was turned down. The official at the embassy did not even open my file. Parel’s visa for India will expire on February 10 and she wants to take me along to introduce me to her family in the US,” said Mukesh, a postgraduate in mass communication from the Kurukshetra University.


But Peral sees nothing wrong in the rejection of visa application, saying it was the US policy to maintain an eye on the unscrupulous elements trying to enter the country using unfair means. “I hope that Mukesh will soon get a permit to visit or settle with me in the US. But I am not averse to stay back in India to lead a peaceful married life,” she said.


Mukesh had worked for various Hindi news channels and newspapers from Assandh sub-division of the district, but now, he said, he was busy with his new life and working on his visa clearance.


Mukesh’s mother Bimla Devi also stays in the house and family leads a comfortable life from whatever they earn from their eight acres of farmland. Peral, who studied till Class 8 back in the US, said that she was a receptionist at a clinic in California.


“We became friends on Facebook and our relationship ended in the marriage. After initial hesitations, I grew faith in Mukesh and decided to marry him. I came to India in August, 2013 and I do not regret my decision of marrying in a land which has a completely different culture,” said Peral.


Now pregnant, Peral is firm on delivering the baby in the US.


Clarifying that she was not a typical Haryanvi housewife doing all household chores, Peral finds the ongoing chilly weather as completely unbearable.


“I chop vegetables and unsuccessfully tried my hands at making ‘chapattis’. Though the living conditions are different than I used to have in the US, but I am enjoying my life here,” she said.


Quoting Bible that “a person without true love was a dead”, Peral said that here she missed the church and gymnasium the most.


“I used to spend up to five hours in a gymnasium. Here, I have no place to jog. I go to Assandh or Karnal for shopping and I enjoy becoming a centre of attraction in the market,” she said.


When told that marrying an elder woman and that too from a different religion was still considered a taboo in the Haryanvi society, Peral said that she didn’t care as long as Mukesh loved her.


“I have seen women in the village covering their heads, but no one objected my wearing the western dresses. I also enjoy wearing salwar-kurta stitched by my in-laws,” she said.


COMPILED BY J S BROCA, 31ST JAN 2014 / MONTOO 18TH APRIL 2020


20TH SEPTEMBER 2020

Category: Humour, People, Social Commentry  Leave a Comment

HAIR YESTERDAY, GONE TODAY

Author: Sep 20


HAIR YESTERDAY, GONE TODAY

This morning, some of the following quotes came to my mind:


Famous Hair Quotes


“The hair is the richest ornament of women.” Martin Luther


“Between the cradle and the grave lie a haircut and a shave.” Samuel Hoffenstein


“When red headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.” Mark Twain


“Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.” Anonymous


“Long on hair, short on brains.” French Proverb


“A celebrity is any well-known TV or movie star who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair.” Steve Martin


“Gorgeous hair is the best revenge.” Ivana Trump


“Gray hair is God’s graffiti.” Bill Cosby


“I do not consider myself bald; I am just taller than my hair.” Lucius Annaeus Seneca


“Lycurgus brought long hair into fashion saying that it rendered those that were handsome more beautiful.” Plutarch


Now Ask Me Why? (these quotes came to my mind)


Herein lies the answer (saw the following piece of news in HT):


Captain Dhoni lets his hair down, youth in Ranchi pick it up


B Vijay Murty/ Saurav Roy, Hindustan Times
Ranchi, September 24, 2013


 Barely a day after he sported a new hairdo, youngsters in Ranchi, the Indian cricket captain’s hometown, have started becoming Mahendra Singh Dhoni lookalikes. Salons and men’s beauty parlour on Monday received enquiries, and clients even demanded the new Dhoni hairstyle. HT spoke


to a couple of beauty salons and found that till afternoon on Monday at least 20 youngsters and cricket-crazy enthusiasts visited them to sacrifice their hair on either side of their head to emulate the Dhoni hairstyle, which is popularly known as the Mohawk cut, made popular by English footballer David Beckham.


This is not the first time that Dhoni has popularised a new hairstyle. His long locks in the initial days of his cricketing career were quite a hit among his young fans.


Former Pakistan President Pervez Musharraf once liked Dhoni’s long locks and advised him to keep the hairdo as it suited his personality.
“Dhoni’s new haircut is not new. It is there in our catalogue since the Fifa World Cup of 2012 though there were hardly any takers,” said Samshad Ali, owner of


Unique Beauty Parlour for men, located in a busy business area of Ranchi.


Shrishti Jha, manager of the city’s premier Kaya Beauty Salon, said hairstylists on Monday served no fewer than 10 young boys and men opting for the new Dhoni hairdo.


COMPILED BY J S BROCA


September 24, 2013


REVIEWED 20TH SEPTEMBER 2020




Category: Comments to print media, Humour, Social Commentry  Leave a Comment

GEETA SAAR DURING RECESSION

Author: Sep 20


GEETA SAAR DURING RECESSION


Hey Parth (Employee),

Incentive nahi mila, bura Hua
Salary cut rahi hai, bura Hua
Extra shift hogi, woh bhi buri hogi.


Tum pichhla incentive na milne ka paschatap na karo,
Tum agley incentive ki chinta na karo,
Bus apni salary main santusht raho….


Tumhari pocket se kya gaya, jo rote ho?
Jo aaya tha sab yaheen se aaya.
Tum jab nahi the, tab bhi company chal rahi thee
Tum Tum jab nahi hoge, tab bhi chalegee.


koi experience leker nahi aaye the..
Jo experience mila yahin mila…
Jo support diya company ke liye…
Degree leker aaye thhe, experience lekar chalo.


Jo system aaj tumhara hai…
Woh kal kisi aur ka tha….
Kal kisi aur ka or parson kisi aur ka hoga..
Tum isey apna samajh kar kyon magan ho rahe ho..
Yahi khushi tumhari tension kaa kaaran hai.


“Kyo vyarth chinta karte ho, kisse vyarth darte ho,
Kaun tumhein nikaal sakta hai…...”
Policy change company ka rule hai.
Jise tum policy change kahte ho, wahi tau trick hai.
“Ek pal main tum Best Performer or Hero no.1 ya Super
Star ban jaate ho,
Dusre pal main tum worst performer or target nahin
achieve kar paatey ho.”


Appraisal, incentive etc. etc.


mann se hata do, vichaar se mita do,


Phir company tumhari hai or tum company ke.
Na yeh increment wageyrah tumhare liye hai
Na tum iske kabhi ho,


Parantu job secure hai
Phir tum tension kyon lete ho….....?


Tum apne aap ko company ko arpit kar do,
Yahi sabse bada golden rule hai,
Jo is golden rule ko jaanta hai,
Woh review, incentive, recession, retirement aadi se Sada ke liye muqt ho jaata hai….


HURRY (H)OM(e).


COMPILED BY J S BROCA / 17TH MARCH 2014


REVIEWED 9TH JAN 2018 / 19TH SEPTEMBER 2020

Category: Current Affairs, Humour, Social Commentry  Leave a Comment

Best urdu shers

Author: Sep 20

Best urdu shers


Shairy teri miraas to nahi “Basit”


Ata Hua hai jo Tarz E Bayan kiska hai


Abdul Basit


************************************


Kitab E dil se nikale huyee hain ye auraq


Zara sabhal kar rakhna K kho na jaye kahiN


Ghalib Ayaz


**********************************************


Jab se jawan huyee ho yeh chal kya nikali hai


Jab tum chala kare ho thokar laga kare hai


Mir Taqi Mir


*********************************


Diwangi “Asad” ki hasrat kashish E tarb hai


Sar mai hawa E gulshan , dil mai ghubar E sehra


Mir Taqi Mir


***************************


Tum mere pass hote ho goya


Jab koyee doosra nahi hota


Momin Khan Momin


*******************************


Patta patta buta buta hal hamara jane hai


Jane na jane gul hi bagh to sara jane hai


Mir Taqi Mir


*******************************


Ishq per zore nahi hai wo aatish-e-ghalib


Ke lagae na lage aur bujhaye na bane


Mirza Ghalib


*********************************


Dil E nadaN tujhe huaa kya hai


Aakhir is dard ki dawa kya hai


Mirza Ghalib


***************************


Deakh to dil ke jan se uthta hai


Ye dhuaaN sa kahan se uthta hai


Mir Taqi Mir


***************************


Teri ummeed tera intezar jab se hai


Na shab ko din se shikayat na din ko shab se hai


Faiz Ahmad Faiz


********************************


GuloN mai rang bhare baad E now bahar chale


Chale bhi aao ke ghulshun ka karobar chale


Faiz Ahmad Faiz


*******************************


Isi sabab se falak ka gila nahi karte


Tere feraq mai hum dil bara nahi karte


Faiz Ahmad Faiz


**************************************


Dil hai to dharakne ka koyee bahana dhundhe


Pathther ki tarah be husN O jan kyoN hai


Shahr Yar


*******************************


Ai dost mai khamosh kisi dar se nahi tha


Qayel hi teri bat ka ander se nahi tha


Bani


***********************************


Mere sokoot se jis ko gale rahe kya kiya


Bichherte waqt wo aankoN ka bolna deakhe


Perveen Shakir


*********************************


Ab kar ke faramosh to nashad karo ge


Per hum jo na hoN ge to bahut yad karo ge


Mir Taqi Mir


**********************************


Dil woh nager nahi ke phir aabad ho sake


Pachta O ge suno yeh basti ujar kar


Mir Taqi Mir


**********************************


Hijrat ka etebar kahan ho sake ke jab


Chori huyee jaghah ki nishaN bhi sath hai


Perveen Shakir


**********************************


Suraj bhi Is ko dhoond kar wapas chala gya


Hum bhi ghar ko laut chaleN sham ho gyeN


Perveen Shakir


********************************


Wo bhala kis ki bat mane haiN


Bhai syed to kuch dewane haiN


Akber Allahabadi


*********************************


Dasht se jhoom Ke jab saba aati hai


Saaf ghunchoN Ke chatakne ki sada aati hai


Baber Ali Anis


**********************************


Shaakh zaitoon ameeN hum hain


Shahar mai ishtehar ho ke na ho


Ghalib Ayaz


*******************************


Kha kha ke Os aur sabza hara huaa


Tha motiyoN se daman E sehra bhara huaa


Baber Ali Anis


***************************


Kamer bandhe huye chalne ko yaN sab yaar baiThe haiN


Bahut aage gaye baqui jo hain taiyyar baiThe haiN


Insha Allah Khan Insha


*******************************************


Mar bhi jaauN to kahaN log bhula hi deNge


Lafz mere mere hone ki gawaahi deNge


Perveen Shakir


****************************


Yeh Isq nahi asaN bas itna samajh leeje


Ek aag ka dariya hai aur is se guzarna hai


Jigar Muradabadi


*******************************


Mai akela hi chala tha janib E manzil mager


Log sath aate gye aur karwan banta gya


Majaz


*********************************


********************************


Apne man mai doob kar pa ja suragh E zindagi


Tu ager mera nahi banta ‘na ban apna to ban


Allama Iqbal


*********************************


Apna to kam hai ke jalate chalo chiragh


Raste khwah dost ya dushman ka ghar mile


Kalim Ahmad Ajiz


********************************


Hain aur bhi duniyaN mai sokhanwer bahut achhe


Kahte hai ke ghalib ka hai andaz E bayaN aur


Mirza Ghalib


******************************


Koyee rota hai dil mai pichle pahar


Koun mahboos is makan mai hai


Ghalib Ayaz


*******************************


Fani Deccan mai aa ke yeh uqdah khula ke hum


Hindustan mai rahte hain hindustan se door


Fani Bada Yni


***********************************


Jo sach puchho to” shad ” apne kiye kuch ho nahi sakta


Khuda ki dain hai insan ka mashhoor ho jana


Shad Azimabadi


**************************************


Jab tum mujhe pukarna chaho


Raushani raushani ; sada dena


Ghalib Ayaz


JSB 23.03.14/ REVIEWED 5TH JAN 2018


20TH SEPTEMBER 2020

Category: Heritage, Nostalgia, Social Commentry  Leave a Comment

JOURNALISM IN INDIA TODAY…

Author: Sep 18

JOURNALISM IN INDIA TODAY…


New Delhi– Despite the breadth and scope of the Indian media, there is little meaningful literature available about journalism practised in the country today. There have been individual accounts by journalists, some of them pretty eminent, but rarely has an attempt been made to present a holistic picture from the 21st century’s perspective.


A new book seeks to address the requirement. You can also discover the fascination of India’s churches, their history and legends, the early arrival of Christianity, India’s first encounters with Europeans and the magnificence of India’s church architecture; and finally, there is another book that just lets you – well, chill!.


1. Book: Indian Journalism in a New Era – Changes, Challengers and Perspectives; Edited by Shakuntala Rao; Publisher: Oxford University Press; Pages: 384; Price: Rs 995


The explosion and ubiquity of media has raised some important questions about journalistic training, professionalism, ethics education and pedagogy. There is now global hand-wringing about the changing nature and future of journalism, especially in democratic societies. This has been occasioned by the seismic shift characterised by new forms of journalism, global connectivity, multi-directional flows of information, instantaneous reporting, multimedia content and extreme content customisation.


Thus setting the tone, editor Shakuntala Rao, a Professor at the Department of Communication Studies, State University of New York, Plattsburth, brings together papers on contemporary Indian journalsim from 21 Indian and global scholars and journalists in four different sedtions – each addressing issues like history and evolving challenges; social media and e-journalism; marginalisation; pedagogy and ethics.


One of the telling comments: “The Indian media’s concerns about a panopticon state in the making are nowhere as sharp as they should be. This is reflected in the seeming acquiescence of the public in the purported needs of national security by the state.” Journalism and Ethics: India Media Mines the Private/ Geeta Seshu – Mumbai-based independent journalist.


A valuable addition at an appropriate time.


2. The Chruches of India; Author/Photographer: Joanne Taylor; Publisher: Niyogi Books; Pages: 284; Price: Rs 1,495


Beautifully preserved, they’re there almost everywhere – well, almost everywhere. In Kerala, churches can be seen wherever one looks, while in Rajasthan or Gujarat, it would be difficult to find one. How they came to be part of India’s landscape is a fascinating story which began in the 1st Century and continues till now.


Religious buildings give India its identity as a nation of diverse people with their own cultures. It is a country with one of the world’s richest architectural traditions. With over 300 photographs, the majority of them by the author herself, this is one of most comprehensive works on India’s churches to date.


“Though much church photography concentrates on the massive exteriors and soaring interiors of churches, I have also focussed on the small details,” Taylor writes,


Definitely a book to treasure.


3. Book: Tongue In Cheek – The Funny Side of Life; Author: Khyrunnisa A.; Publisher: Tranqebar; Pages: 184; Price: 250


Imagine a pressure cooker with a life of its own that takes off like a shrieking banshee; or ordering all of 12 ‘khulchas’ when what was was meant was ‘phulkas; or a washing up exercise that makes the kitchen look as if several crows have had a satisfying bath there; or an aching right arm that is diagnosed as a ‘rotor cuff tear’?


“Before all else, the Claimer (the opposite of a disclaimer in case the word had you stumped) – this is a work of non-fiction. Names, places and incidents are not entirely the product of the author’s imagination and every resemblance to any actual person, living or dead, creature, great or small, events momentous or trivial and locales, exotic or familiar, is deliberate,” says Khyrunnisa, the author of the popular fortnightly column, “Inside View” that appeared in The Hindu MetroPlus.


Crackling with humour that would make your jawbones ache, this is one engrossing read. (IANS)


COMPILED BY J S BROCA 18TH SEPTEMBER 2020


LINK:


https://indianewengland.com/2019/07/of-journalism-in-a-new-india-discover-the-history-and-architecture-of-indias-churches-day-to-day-knocks-taken-with-a-dollop-of-humour/


Category: Comments to print media, Social Commentry  Leave a Comment

Window Dressing

Author: Sep 18

Window Dressing


Window dressing is a technique used by companies and financial managers to manipulate financial statements and reports to show more favorable results for a period. Although window dressing is illegal or fraudulent, it is slightly dishonest and is usually done to mislead investors.


Companies typically window dress their financial statements by selling off assets and either purchasing new assets or using this money to funds other operations. This way the cash balance on the balance sheet appears to be at a normal amount. Unfortunately, this strategy can only fool novice investors. Experienced investors can analyze the statement of cash flows and long-term assets to see that the company is funding current operations by selling off assets.


Window dressing is probably most commonly found in investment brokers and mutual fund houses. Mutual fund managers often sell off poor performing stock and other investments near the end of a period and use the money to buy high performing stock. This way new investors see the portfolio of high performing stock and want to invest. Obviously, this is only a short-term strategy for novice investors. Any experienced investor will analyze portfolio trends over the past few periods to see if the funds managers are investing wisely.


In short, window dressing is a short-term strategy to make financial statements and financial portfolios appear more consistent and desirable than they really are. Although window dressing does not amount to fraud in most circumstances, it is usually done to mislead investors from the true company or fund performance.


COMPILED BY J S BROCA 20TH NOV 2017


REVIEWED 18TH SEPTEMBER 2020

Category: Comments to print media, Humour, People  Leave a Comment

ZEN SAYINGS….

Author: Sep 17

ZEN SAYINGS….


I am an avid collector of Zen quotes, sayings and teachings. The funnier the better.


BTW, Zen is a school of Mahayana Buddhism and originated in China during the 6th century. From China, Zen spread south to Vietnam, to Korea and east to Japan.


The word Zen is derived from the Japanese pronunciation of the Middle Chinese word ”Dzyen” (Modern Mandarin: Chán), which in turn is derived from the Sanskrit word dhyāna, which can be approximately translated as “absorption” or “meditative state”.


Zen emphasizes the attainment of enlightenment and the personal expression of direct insight in the Buddhist teachings. As such, it de-emphasizes mere knowledge of sutras and doctrine, and favors direct understanding through zazen and interaction with an accomplished teacher.


Zen is a serious matter, but several light hearted quotes are there too.


Here is a random collection of some funny Zen sayings.


No other intentions to hurt some ones’ feelings please.


Pure humour is the purpose. So, enjoy while I meditate…..


Zen Teachings


1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just leave me the Hell alone.


2. Sex is like air. It’s not that important unless you aren’t getting any.


3. No one is listening until you fart.


4. Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.


5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.


6. If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive or dead, try missing a couple of payments.


7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.


8. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.


9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.


10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.


11. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.


12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.


13. Don’t worry, it only seems kinky the first time.


14. Good judgment comes from bad experience … and most of that comes from bad judgment.


15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.


16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.


17. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.


18. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.


19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass… then things just keep getting worse.


20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.


HAVE A NICE DAY!!


FIRST POSTED ON RML 1.04.13


RE POSTED 17TH SEPTEMBER 2020

Category: Heritage, People  Leave a Comment
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