Archive for » December, 2018 «

Limerick On A Message In Cipher To A Girlfriend

Limerick On A Message In Cipher To A Girlfriend

By Hugh T. 14 Aug 2007   #35084

A cunning young lover called Ifor
Wrote odes to his girlfriend in cipher;
If you once knew the key
(And the girl), you’d agree
That her $£%*&5 was really to die for.

COMPILED BY J S BROCA 31ST DECEMBER 2018
LINK:
https://www.oedilf.com/db/Lim.php?button=Search&Word=GIRLFRIEND%20&Start=80

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Limerick On A Boss And Secretary Relationship

Limerick On A Boss And Secretary Relationship

By Chris J. Strolin 21 Feb 2005 #3217

There once was a woman named Ariel
Who was hired for skills secretarial,
But her boss was a jerk,
So her dealings at work
Very quickly became adversarial.

COMPILED BY J S BROCA 30TH DEC 2018

LINK:
https://www.oedilf.com/db/Lim.php?Word=BOSS&WordSearchButton=Used

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Limerick On Tragedy Of Relations On Facebook

Limerick On Tragedy Of Relations On Facebook

By Jeff Foster  30 Nov 2010  #66731

What a joy it is staying in touch

Via Facebook and Twitter and such!
Relations stay splendid
Connectedly  friended
With those we don’t like very much.

LINK:
https://www.oedilf.com/db/Lim.php?button=Search&Word=FACEBOOK%20&Start=0

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Limerick On Choices

Limerick On Choices

By Dr. Work 11 Jul 2008 #48711

Watermelon can help you in bed?
It has citrulline, research has said.
So I ate some to test,
But my wife’s not impressed:
“You should stick with Viagra, instead!”

COMPILED BY J S BROCA  28TH DEC 2018

LINK:
https://www.oedilf.com/db/Lim.php?button=Search&Word=WIFE&Start=750

NOTE:
Watermelon contains citrulline, an amino acid which is metabolized to arginine,
which then in turn boosts nitric oxide levels, relaxing blood vessels in a similar
fashion to Viagra. However, one would have to eat a very large quantity of
watermelon to see any effect.

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Limerick On Bargains

Limerick On Bargains

By Val    02 Oct 2007   #38207

When his wife bought a big crate of honey,
Ed cried, “Forty-eight jars? That’s not funny.
Though I know it’s half-price,
Honey’s not all that nice—
The fact is, even bargains cost money.”

LINK: https://www.oedilf.com/db/Lim.php?button=Search&Word=WIFE&Start=580

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Limerick On Why I Blacked Out

Limerick On Why I Blacked Out 

By Dr. Work   11 Jun 2008  #49568

When my wife wants a trip to the store,
I black out and collapse on the floor.
By the time I awaken,
She’s already taken
My wallet and gone out the door.

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Limerick On Life With Facebook

Limerick On Life With Facebook 

By Ruchiccio  10 Mar 2014    #86588

I’m on Facebook by day and by night.
My followers like what I write.
I’ve got invites and friends.
I’ve got feeds to the trends.
But have I got a life? No, not quite.

LINK:
https://www.oedilf.com/db/Lim.php?button=Search&Word=FACEBOOK%20&Start=10

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Limerick On Occupational Hazards

Limerick On Occupational Hazards

By Mephistopheles 15 Aug 2007 #35000

The bricklayer let out a howl,
And complained to his wife, with a scowl,
“I am gonna be sick
If I see one more brick:
I’ve decided to throw in the trowel!”

COMPILED BY J S BROCA 25TH DECEMBER 2018
LINK:
https://www.oedilf.com/db/Lim.php?button=Search&Word=WIFE&Start=550

 

Limerick On A Swami’s Advice

Limerick On A Swami’s Advice

By DBR Hoffman 14 Nov 2008 #49843

When I queried a wizened old swami,

In a marketplace, dusty and balmy,

“What’s the secret of life?”

He replied: “Find a wife,

And some cacciatorini salami.”

NOTE:

Caccitorini salami is an Italian variety, usually made of half beef and half pork seasoned with salt, garlic and white wine.

LINK:

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https://www.oedilf.com/db/Lim.php?button=Search&Word=WIFE&Start=460

 

 

A Wife Is Always Right — Limerick

A Wife Is Always Right — Limerick

By Sheila B 07 Dec 2006 #25728

When a husband and wife have a fight,

Their exchange might sound less than polite.

First he argues his case;

Then she laughs in his face.

Then he says to her, “Honey, you’re right.”

LINK:

https://www.oedilf.com/db/Lim.php?button=Search&Word=WIFE&Start=440

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