Archive for » June, 2018 «

Limerick Ode To the ATM

Limerick Ode To the ATM


By Madeleine Begun Kane



The money withdrawing machine
Is a temptress that often seems keen
On increasing our spending.
My balance needs mending!
Oh, what has become of my green?



COMPILED BY J S BROCA June 24th, 2014
REVIEWED 30TH JUNE 2018


LINK:http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/tag/banking-limerick/
Image result for atm cartoon

READ AND SMILE AT THESE LIMERICKS









EAD AND SMILE AT THESE LIMERICKS


1. Bow To Meow


There was once a man from Glasgow,
Who kept saying “Bow, wow!”
But when they said, “That’s mean!”
He blushed like a teen,
And started saying “Meow!”


2. Alien Having Fun


There was once an alien from space,
Who thought ‘earth’ was a cool place
He loved the flowers and trees
And the buzzing bumble bees
Until one bit him in the face. ??


3. Fatty


There was an old man from Delhi
Who had an enormous belly,
But when they said – “You’re fat!”
He screeched like a rat!
And denied it frantically.


COMPILED BY J S BROCA 29TH JUNE 2018


SOURCEhttp://www.personal-development-is-fun.com/limerick-poems.html


Image result for man with a fat belly











 

A LIMERICK ON A WIDOW’S COLD COMFORT

LIMERICK ON A WIDOW’S COLD COMFORT


A widow whose singular vice
Was to keep her late husband on ice
Said “It’s been hard since I lost him
I’ll never defrost him 
Cold comfort but cheap at the price”.


COMPILED BY J S BROCA 23RD MARCH 2014
REVIEWED 28TH JUNE 2018


LINKhttps://www.tor.com/2013/06/27/a-read-of-ice-and-fire-a-storm-of-swords-part-34/
 


Image result for DEAD MAN BODY UNDER A SHEET


 

Limericks by Madeleine Begun Kane

Limericks by Madeleine Begun Kane


1. Trim Limerick


When a woman who needed a trim
Cut her hair rather short on a whim,
Her spouse baldly sued
For divorce, using rude,
Snippy grounds: “She resembles a ‘him.’”


2. Limerick Bar


A woman decided to bar
Cigarette smoking folks from her car.
“This must be a joke,”
Said her husband. “I smoke,
So our marriage ain’t going too far.”


3. Remorseful Limerick


A fellow was feeling remorse
About taking an ill-advised course:
He’d married a gal
Who was also his pal,
Before he’d secured a divorce.


4. Father’s Day Limerick


A pregnant young woman named Kay
Was due to give birth the next day.
So it wasn’t sublime
When her spouse picked that time
To confess that he really was gay.


COMPILED BY J S BROCA     23RD DEC 2012
REVIEWED     26TH JUNE 2018
LINK:     http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/tag/husband-wife-limerick/


About the Author:


Humorist and political satirist Madeleine Begun Kane (“Mad Kane”) won the 2008 Robert Benchley Society Humor Award (Bob Newhart was the finals judge) and is a National Society of Newspaper Columnists award winner.


Her humor and essays have been published in numerous newspapers, print magazines, and web sites and in many anthologies and text books (including Laughing Matters; Life’s A Stitch: The Best of Contemporary Women’s Humor; Funny Times: The Best of the Best American Humor; Jest Patriotic; Cash In On Laughter; Big Bush Lies; I Killed June Cleaver; Minutes of the Lead Pencil Club; Healer {Archetypes of the Collective Unconscious Volume 2}; and The Contemporary Reader.)


She is also a recovering lawyer, a funny contracts and limerick writer, and a musician whose political song parodies were popular “sing-alongs” at anti-Bush demonstrations.


Mad Kane’s humor about marriage, work, money, travel, cars, politics, the media, and other topics has appeared in numerous publications including Family Circle Magazine, First For Women, America Online, Chicago Tribune, Philadelphia Inquirer, Miami Herald, Houston Chronicle, and the New York Times.


SOURCE  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madeleine_Begun_Kane :


Image result for Madeleine Begun Kane

Limericks about Famous People


Limericks about Famous People


1. Concerning Saddam Hussein’s handgun in George W. Bush’s trophy room:


In a trophy room interns should dread
George W gleefully said,
“This proves that I’ve won
‘cause I got Saddam’s gun.
Still, I’d rather have mounted his head.”


2. Concerning David and Victoria Beckham: 


Victoria, a bright girl, I’m sure,
should’ve known there’d be fan-girls galore
tempting David to stray.
When he’s got room to play
he’ll always find chances to score.


3. Concerning Gerald L. Printz, the inventor of an eating utensil a with handle like a pair of chopsticks and a “food-engaging member” like a fork:


An idiot produced an invention
that showed up his short comprehension
of the way his new tool
made him look like a fool,
but it sated his patent pretention.


COMPILED BY J S BROCA 26TH JUNE 2018



LINKhttp://www.virgilanti.com/content/limericks-about-famous-people

Image result for saddam hussein and george bush cartoonImage result for george bush cartoon



 

Three Limericks for You

Three Limericks for You
By Lorraine Reguly 
November 26, 2015


Limerick #1


There once was an author from Spain
Who went by the name of “Lorraine.”
She thought she wrote well,
But, as you can tell,
She only self-published in vain!




Limerick #2


There once was a woman from Wales
Who could tell very tall tales.
Though her stories sucked,
And she thought she was f**ked,
She ended up making a lot of sales.



Limerick #3


There was an editor who excelled.
“Hire me now!” from the rooftops she yelled.
But what she didn’t know
Was that she needed to grow –
Her words were always incorrectly spelled.



COMPILED BY J S BROCA 10TH JAN 2016
REVIEWED 24th JUNE 2018
LINKhttps://lorrainereguly.com/writing-rhymes-limericks/


About the Author:


Lorraine Reguly (1971-) was born and raised in Thunder BayOntarioCanada. By age 4,Lorraine was reading, and by age 6, writing in cursive. She has always had a high IQ, and graduated Grade 8 as valedictorian. High school, however, was more challenging forLorraine, as she was raped at the age of 14. She was still a virgin at the time, and was completely devastated. She used drugs as a coping mechanism, quit school, and became promiscuous. After becoming a single mother at age 18, she went back to school and graduated with honours, winning several scholarships and awards.


To know more: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/8342668.Lorraine_Reguly


Image result for lorraine reguly

The Problem Of Style Over Content Of A Limerick


The Problem Of Style Over Content Of A Limerick


This aspect has been debated several times. Different people hold different views.

I believe that if a limerick makes you smile / laugh / guffaw, its purpose is served. To hell with style or content!


The Anonymous Author of the following limerick succinctly describes the problem of style over content:


The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical;
The good ones I’ve seen
Are seldom so clean,
Whilst the clean ones are seldom so comical.


What is your view dear reader?


COMPILED BY J S BROCA 23RD JUNE 2018


LINK:


https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-limerick-packs-laughs-anatomical/
Image result for The limerick packs laughs anatomical cartoon



 

Another Favourite Limerick Of Mine

Another Favourite Limerick of mine


Here is one more enAnotherjoyable limerick, I had noted in an old diary, very long ago. (December, 2010). Source is not known.


There was an old man of Lyme
Who married three wives at a time.
When asked, “Why a third?”
He answered, “One’s absurd,
And bigamy, sir, is a crime.”


COMPILED BYJ S BROCA 22ND JUNE 2018

Image result for MAN WITH THREE WIVES CARTOON

ONE OF MY FAVOURITE LIMERICKS

ONE OF MY FAVOURITE LIMERICKS


A pretty young maiden from France
Decided she’d just take a chance.
She let herself go
For an hour or so,
And now all her sisters are aunts.


COMPILED BY J S BROCA
(Decades ago—source forgotten) 
REMEMBERED AGAIN 21ST JUNE 2018

Image result for A PRETTY MOTHER WITH A NEW BORN BABY

Why We Love Limericks


Why We Love Limericks


By Michael Rosen


There once was a short comic verse whose style was witty and terse. A new book came out, its sales were a rout – our unquenchable limerick thirst!


25th Nov 2015


‘The limerick dates back to the 11th century.’


News that a new book of limericks by the playwright Ranjit Bolt has been a roaring success should come as no surprise.


If you sit down to write a limerick, you find yourself straddling two histories: the history of the limerick form itself, which stretches back to at least the 11th century, and your personal history of knowing limericks or poems similar to limericks.


Perhaps this second history is more important than the first when it comes to figuring out why you might want to write one, and why people are interested to hear or read it.


The limerick-like poems we’re likely to hear are amongst the classic nursery rhyme collections: Little Miss Muffet, Little Jack Horner and Humpty Dumpty are all what we might call “imperfect” limericks. They have enough of the characteristics though, to set up in our minds the shape and subject matter of the classic limerick: two long lines, two shorter lines and a return to the longer line; a strange or odd character who encounters a mishap; and a neat conclusion which often suggests a continuation of the mishap into dissolution or destruction rather than the classic resolution of children’s literature, the actual or metaphorical homecoming.


We’re likely to encounter the perfectly formed limerick when we’re a few years older, whether that’s with some of Edward Lear’s limericks, books of poetry that include some more recent ones, or indeed our parents making up limericks on car journeys or recycling taboo-breaking examples about farting, shitting, parts of the body or sex.


I can date my first filthy limerick to the playground circuit in around 1955, me aged nine or ten:


There was an old man of Guyana
Who sat and played the piano.
His fingers slipped
His fly buttons ripped
And out popped his hairy banana.


My father was adept at making up limericks about place names we encountered on holidays or others using the names of new people we met. One that I don’t remember in full, revolved around using the name Peter Doughty and turning it into “petered out-y”. That kind of syllable-adding, rhyme-squeezing, rule-breaking verbal dexterity makes limericks an ideal “site” for something that satisfies a lot of us.


After all, a good deal of language activity – like this article itself – has to conform to the conventions of continuous and formal prose writing.


Writing limericks gives us a playground, a release from these conventions. Even so, the rules of the limerick require us to play within strict rules. To break taboos in the midst of being rule-bound to the letter, gives the whole matter a satisfying dissonance. Perhaps, the formality gives us the “permission” we unconsciously seek when we cross lines of propriety and custom.

LINKhttps://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/nov/25/verse-poetry-limerick


ABOUT THE AUTHOR:


Michael Wayne Rosen (born 7 May 1946) is an English children’s novelist and poet, the author of 140 books. He served as Children’s Laureate from June 2007 to June 2009. He has been a TV presenter and a political columnist. 


To know more go to:


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Rosen


COMPILED BY J S BROCA 20TH DEC 2015
REVIEWED 19TH JUNE 2018
Image result for michael rosen