Archive for » November, 2017 «

NEO POETRY ? DIRTY HAIKUS?

NEO POETRY ? DIRTY HAIKUS?


Dear Friends, we all like sweet simple poetry which delights us and teaches us something to cherish. We seldom digest other forms of poems because they do not appeal to our senses and are unclean and dirty!


Recently, I came across a set of dirty haikus written and published by a quite well known writer. They may not appeal to those who have clean minds but the genre as such, is quite popular in several magazines abroad.


I liked them though basically I AM A GOODY GOODY GUY! There is no harm in reading and sharing them I feel. If you DISLIKE them, say so and the post will be removed. If you LIKE them then too express your views.


So here is THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT—eat it or spit it:


1. 


F*cking’s essential


Because it feels so damn good


Oxygen, less so.


2.


 “Is it in yet, dear?”


Is quite a silly question


You won’t need to ask.


3.  


I want your body


Like right now, not tomorrow


Massively horny. 


4.


Sex with a stranger


Sometimes, it’s the way to go


No names, just pleasure.


5. 


Worship my body


And don’t overlook an inch


Bow down and submit.


6. 


Don’t call me twisted


You make me want it so bad


 So I beg, and beg.


7. 


Let’s experiment


Down the rabbit hole, just us


Unforgettable.


8. 


I see, taste, smell you


“Give it to me now,” I say


No rules, no regrets.


9. 


When you f*ck me right


The world gets brighter, better


Cum again some time.                                      


BY Mélanie Berliet


ABOUT MÉLANIE


Mélanie Berliet is an American author and journalist based in New York City. Berliet graduated from Georgetown University. When she was in her 20s, she worked on Wall Street, but left to pursue a writing career.


She has written for some fancy publications like Vanity Fair, New York Magazine, The Atlantic, Elle, Cosmopolitan, Maxim, Esquire, etc. She has also created and produced tons of original content for television and the web. She has also written a book  Surviving in Spirit.


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POEMS ON DEATH !

POEMS ON DEATH


Once upon a time very very long ago, when death snatched a loved one of mine, I got interested in poems on death. There are many poems on this topic and you can read them by surfing on the internet. Recently, I came across and read a FUNNY poem on death!! Death and funny? You may ask!   Here is the poem. See it for yourself:


QUOTERoses are dead, violets are too, I`m still in love but not with you. You thought you hurt me, and made me cry, But now I’m in love with another guy. Simply because you have no class, all you can do, is kiss my ass. You sit around and talk your s**t, so eff you and your little ass dick. What my man is doing, you can`t do. You tell your homies you played me like a b**ch, and I tell my girls you have a little dick. You said you loved me, but it wasnt true. Well guess what mofugga I played you too. UNQUOTE


While I am on this topic, I am reminded of my favourite writer Khushwant Singh who had also written a lot on the topic of death. Here is an interesting thing connected with this great writer:


KHUSHWANT SINGH’S FAVOURITE LIMERICK


His favourite limerick was from the English poet Hilaire Belloc:


 “When I am dead


I hope it will be said


His sins were scarlet


But his books were read.”


How true isn’t it !!


 BTW limericks are generally of 5 lines whereas this one is one line short.


 Hope you enjoyed this narrative.


 Keep smiling!


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MYSTERY OF THE TELEPHONE CONNECTION

MYSTERY OF THE TELEPHONE CONNECTION


Here is a joke I have loved and enjoyed the technical explanation of the mystery behind the problem.


I think you will love it too. Hence, sharing it.


Keep Smiling:


Old Lady’s Phone


An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called—and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang.


The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady. He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber’s house. The phone didn’t ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring.


Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found…..



  1. The dog was tied to the telephone system’s ground wire via a steel chain and collar.




  2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.




  3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.




  4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.




  5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.



 .....Which goes to show that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning…


 J S BROCA 19TH NOV 2017


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ADVANTAGES OF BEING A MARRIAGE PHOTOGRAPHER

ADVANTAGES OF BEING A MARRIAGE PHOTOGRAPHER


I keep advising my students from time to time rega


I am reminded of this TONGUE IN CHEEK piece of humour to be taken lightly!rding career opportunities in Banking Sector. Recently I happened to meet an old friend of mine who is now a well known photographer. He has won quite a good number of awards and prizes over the last 10 years or so.!


Photographer Ki Shaan


Indian Marriages Mein Photographer Hona Bade Garv Ki Baat Hai….


Har Umar Ki Females Uske Aagey Pichhey Ghum Ke Pyar Se Bolti Hain…..


»Aap Ne Meri To Lee Nahin.


»Meri Akeli Ki Lo No.


»Yeh Meri Friend Hi, Hum Dono Ka Ek Saath Lo.


»Please Ese Lena Jaisi Kisi Ki Na Li Ho


»Please Achha Sa Angel Bana Ke Lena


»Maza Nahi Aya Please Ek Bar Dobara Lo Na


»Vakiye Aap Best Hai Bade Ache Tarike Se Li   


THINKING OF BECOMING A PHOTOGRAPHER?


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