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MODERN DAY NURSERY RHYMES

Modern Day NURSERY  RHYMES

JACK AND JILL

Jack and Jill went into town

To fetch some chips and sweeties

Now he can’t keep his heart rate down

And she’s got diabetes.

GEORGIE PORGIE

Georgie Porgie pudding and pie                              

Kissed the girls and made them cry

When the boys came out to play

He kissed them too coz he was gay.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB

Mary had a little lamb

It ran into a pylon #

10000 volts went up it’s arse

And turned its wool into nylon.

# a pylon: a tall tower-like structure used for carrying electricity cables high above the ground.

COMPILED BY J S BROCA    28TH OCT 2017

LINK:

http://auldreekierants.blogspot.in/2016/03/modern-day-nursery-rhymes.html

 Image result for nursery rhymes

 

A new NURSERY RHYME to be launched in Books from 2018….

A new NURSERY RHYME to be launched in Books from 2018….

Johnny Johnny….Yes papa!!
Job in City….Yes papa!!
Lot of Tension….Yes papa!!
Too much Work….Yes papa!!
Family life….No papa!!
BP Sugar….High papa!!
Yearly Bonus….Joke papa!!
Annual Pay….Low papa!!
Personal Life….Lost papa!!
Promotion Incentive….
Ha!! Ha!! Ha!!

Image result for johny jhony yes papa

A Desperate Housewife ….In limerick form

A Desperate Housewife ….In limerick form 
Background : Some years ago I used to avidly watch the TV Show titled Desperate Housewives. Then for some reasons I lost interest. I also used to like reading stories about this category of women! Thank God I do not have a desperate wife.
Some time ago recently, I happened to Google Desperate Housewives. I was astonished to get about 97,00,000 results in just 0.67 seconds. For those who are not familiar with this TV show, here is a small write up: Desperate Housewives is an American television comedy-drama and mystery series created by Marc Cherry, and produced by ABC Studios and Cherry Productions. It originally aired for eight seasons on ABC, from October 3, 2004 to May 13, 2012. Executive producer Cherry served as show runner. Other executive producers since the fourth season included Bob Daily, George W. Perkins, John Pardee, Joey Murphy, David Grossman, and Larry Shaw.
As I love limericks on various topics, I Googled about poems on Desperate Wives and here is one I liked and so sharing with my readers. HOPE YOU ENJOY IT AS MUCH AS I DID.
A desperate housewife I knew
had such mundane housework to do.
Being so tired of it,
she decided to quit.
Then off to Las Vegas she flew.
Having always been such a lithe girl,
she thought “I’ll give dancing a whirl!”
Her audition went well.
From a large oyster shell
She emerged, so they all dubbed her Pearl.
 
Her skin, soft and fair, shone like dew
as she smiled with eyes crystal blue.
All the men threw her money
as her voice, sweet as honey,
called out, “Let me entertain you!”
 
As Pearl danced each night, looking pretty,
Her husband, back in her home city,
was fit to be tied,
thinking maybe she’d died!
Poor fool didn’t have a clue, did he!
 
Unbeknownst to sweet Pearl, her “dear” spouse
had been sneaking off as she’d played house.
To conventions he’d said
he was going. Instead,
he’d been gambling in Vegas, that louse!
 
Off to strip clubs he’d gone every chance
that he got. How he loved to see dance
naked women all sizes
in sexy disguises
while his wife at home longed for romance.
 
Now the tables were very much turned.
And her husband was feeling quite spurned.
He would sleep restlessly
thinking where could she be!!
But her whereabouts he never learned.
No longer could he run away
on a whim. He still had bills to pay.
That cleaning and cooking
meant no time for looking
at girls! He had less time to play.
 
In Vegas, his wife had come far.
In fact, she was a superstar.
Wearing naught but a fan,
she’d entice every man,
then drive home in a pearl-colored car!
 
Her spouse lost his job. The years fled.
His wife he then had declared dead.
But with no job in sight,
he’d stay home each night,
with loneliness causing him dread.
Do you think this guy ever has let
his conscience feel any regret
that his wife did so much
while he gambled and such?
Has he learned anything at all yet?
 
Did he marry and get a new bride?
Did Pearl go and change her sweet ride
to a sleek red Corvette,
and did SHE marry yet?
I leave it to YOU to decide!
Note:
Written June 2016 for the Desperate Housewife Contest of PD
Copyright © Andrea Dietrich | Year Posted 2016
COMPILED BY J S BROCA  20TH OCT 2017
LINK: https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/a_desperate_housewife___in_limerick_form_801804

 

Image result for DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

 

Serving the Useful Purpose for B-schools

Serving the Useful Purpose for B-schools

This refers to your special issue on India’s Best B-schools (October 22). It is a great compilation of important parameters like placement records, infrastructural facilities, and technological upgradation. The ranking process should also take into account factors like tie-ups with well known industrial houses, on-the-job training programmes, an emotional quotient versus intelligence quotient analysis through scientific evaluative tests, etc. Moreover, in today’s changing job market scenario, prompt acquisition of new skills by the students needs to be focused as well. However, some colleges have not participated in your survey. But for a country which has had a history of management education of over six decades, it is unfortunate that no Indian business school is anywhere near the top 10 global institutions measured by various rankings. But ultimately, such surveys serve one useful purpose for the B-schools – that is as a tool for marketing and advertising their standing in the educational field vis-a-vis other competitors. Kudos to your entire team for doing a great job.

J.S. Broca, New Delhi 19th Oct 2017

The above is a highly edited version of my Letter published in the latest issue od Business Today dated 5th November 2017 with the following cover:

This is what I had written:

Dear Sir, This refers to your Special Issue on INDIA ’S BEST B SCHOOLS (BT 22nd October 2017). Kudos to your entire team for doing a great job methodically and un-biasedly!! It is a great labour of love compiling the statistics, analyzing the data and presenting it in a comprehensible manner for the average reader. Had there been a Survey about the BEST BUSINESS MAGAZINE in India , Business Today would have been ranked Number 1.

Besides important parameters like placement records, reputation, infrastructural facilities, technological up- gradation,  job market conditions etc the ranking process should also take into account factors like tie-ups with well known industrial houses, industrial visits made, OJT (On the Job Training) programmes, Number of Doctoral Students (PhD) after graduation, EQ (Emotional Quotient) versus IQ (Intelligence Quotient) Analysis through scientific evaluative tests, etc.

Moreover, in today’s changing job market scenario, prompt acquirement of new skills by the students  needs a focused attention as well. For example today Digital Marketing, Business Analytics, Supply Chain Management, Logistics, Artificial Intelligence etc have all become the new buzz words and as seen from the survey, quite a few B Schools have revised their curriculum to include such inputs to have a competitive advantage.

As per my knowledge and experience in the academic field, today not only QUALITY EDUCATION, INTERNATIONAL ACCREDITIONS, SPECIAL SUBJECTS taught like –CORPORATE CITIZENSHIP, BUSINESS ETHICS, win hands down in enrollment but factors like FACULTY–Feedback and FACULTY Brain Storming, STUDENT EXCHANGE PROGRAMMES with foreign universities etc go a long way in ensuring a better Rank compared to others who do not move with the times.

Some colleges have not participated in your survey. Obviously, it is their attitudinal problem. They think they know where they stand and why and they wrongly believe that they do not need any outside suggestions for improvement.

Last but not the least, there were some media reports sometime on 2015 as under: QUOTE –For a country which has had a history of management education of over six decades, it is unfortunate that no Indian business school is anywhere near the top 10 global institutions measured by various rankings. The China Europe International Business School or CEIBS, set up 20 years ago in China, beat the 53- year old Indian Institute of Ahmedabad (IIM- A) by a huge margin to feature at the 11th place in the Financial Times’ ( FT) Global MBA Ranking 2015, and 17th in the Bloomberg Business week Ranking 2014. In contrast, IIM- A had climbed up slightly to the 26th spot (30th in 2014) in the final Ranking. The Bloomberg Business week Ranking had taken into account only 17 international B Schools (none from India) against 100 considered by the FT. The two other Indian B- schools which figured in the FT list have had mixed results in recent years. While the Indian School of Business climbed to the 33rd position from the 36th in 2014, IIM- Bangalore — which secured a place in the chart at the 68th position last year — has slipped to the 82nd rank. UNQUOTE.

So ultimately such surveys serve one useful purpose for the B-Schools that is as a tool for marketing and advertising their standing in the educational field vis a vis other competitors.

Thank you for a very interesting cover story. Keep up the good work BT!

J S Broca , New Delhi  10th October 2017

My Experiments in Hinglish Limericks—III

My Experiments in Hinglish Limericks—III

My rich friend now wishes to become a dulha,
Only to get someone light his choolah?
No, he was tired of ordering food on line—
Enjoying drinks with faltoo girls all the time,
He now wants someone special to share his moolah!!

Image result for MOOLAH

 

 

My Experiments in Hinglish Limericks—II

Now we don’t find real jodis like Majnu and Laila,

Not one guy is ujla but all are shamefully maila,

They are all after money,

And fancy a rich honey,

Just to enjoy life and its perks, like a chhaila!!

J S BROCA   8th October 2017

Related image

My Experiments in Hinglish Limericks–I

My Experiments in Hinglish Limericks–I

My friend Manu has a GF named Teena,

-A classic beauty like famous Kareena,

But there is another angle,

Or rather an infamous love triangle

-For he is slyly dating another haseena!

J S BROCA   7TH October 2017

 

 

Image result for kareena

My Letter to the Editor in BT

My Letter to the Editor in BT

 Most Powerful Women: Value for Money

This refers to your special issue on the Most Powerful Women in Business (October 8). All the 30 winners in business category and 23 winners in the impact category deserve to be included in your list by virtue of 3Ps – Performance, Perseverance, and Pragmatism. Their achievements are case studies to motivate the younger generation which needs to learn about being an achiever and what qualities make one really powerful. Hope the present generation takes a lesson from these powerful women and makes an honest attempt in the highly competitive times of today. Your cover story goes to show that Indian women are no more mere show-pieces to adorn the drawing rooms of their homes. Over the last decade or so, they have carved a distinct niche for themselves in a male-dominated world. In spite of gender bias, we need to respect, and express our love towards such great entrepreneurship icons and join in the celebrations for women’s economic, political and social achievements. It is a collectors’ issue. Kudos to the Business Today team for a paisa vasool issue.

J.S. Broca, New Delhi (6th Oct 2017)

Published in Business Today Latest Issue dated 22nd Oct 2017

A LIMERICK INSPIRED BY NAVRATRI DANCES

A LIMERICK  INSPIRED BY NAVRATRI DANCES

While watching the Dandiya Raas and Garba in a nearby locality I penned this limerick when I returned home 

There was a lovely lass Radha,  from Jhumri Talayia

Who was too good in dancing, thumak thumak thayia

But I am sad to say,

To my utter dismay—

She hasn’t yet found her Krishan Kanahyia!!

BEST OF LUCK TO RADHA….!

PS: This is my own composition and is not a compiled one.

By J S Broca  5th October 2017

Image result for RADHA DOING DANDIYA DANCE

A LIMERICK ON STOCK MARKET….

A LIMERICK ON STOCK MARKET….

THE STOCK MARKET’S A RISKY AFFAIR,
YOU CAN BE RICH IF YOU HAVE THE FLAIR.
THIS LIFE IS NOT FOR ME
ONE MUST SURELY AGREE
AS I DON’T KNOW A BULL FROM A BEAR!!

TIP: SO FIRST LEARN ABOUT BULLS N BEARS !!

J S BROCA  5TH OCT 2017

LINK: http://www.s1jobs.com/blog/well-versed-importance-finance/

Image result for STOCK MARKET