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Donald Trump Limericks

Donald Trump Limericks


There once was a brash billionaire


who couldn’t afford decent hair.


Vexed voters agreed:


“We’re a nation in need!”


But toupée the price, do we dare?


By Michael R. Burch


Oh crap, we elected Trump prez!


Now he’s Simon: we must do what he sez!


‘Cause if anyone thinks


And says his “plan” stinks,


He’ll wig out ‘neath that weird orange fez!


By Michael R. Burch


World leaders continue to stare


At the man with the ludicrous hair:


They find it bewild’rin’


That refugee children


Give Trump such a pants-wetting scare.


By Will T. Laughlin


There’s a boastful campaigner named Trump


who is doing quite well on the stump.


All his insults and gaffes


only get him more laughs.


Will he wind up a champ or a chump?


By Richard Stoll Armstrong


COMPILED BY J S  BROCA  9TH JULY 2017


SOURCE:


http://www.thehypertexts.com/Donald%20Trump%20Limericks.htm 


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LIMERICKS FOR KIDS….A Fish Who Could Talk

LIMERICKS FOR KIDS


A Fish Who Could Talk


By Elizabeth Trang…May 2014


There once was a fish who could talk.


He wanted to learn how to walk.


He got out from the sea,


Fell right onto me,


And I nearly died from great shock.


COMPILED BY J S BROCA 


 

 

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Category: Humour  Leave a Comment

A LIMERICK ON A DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE

A LIMERICK ON A DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE


A Desperate Housewife


A desperate housewife I knew
had such mundane housework to do.
Being so tired of it,
she decided to quit.
Then off to Las Vegas she flew.


Having always been such a lithe girl,
she thought “I’ll give dancing a whirl!”
Her audition went well.
From a large oyster shell
She emerged, so they all dubbed her Pearl.


Her skin, soft and fair, shone like dew
as she smiled with eyes crystal blue.
All the men threw her money
as her voice, sweet as honey,
called out, “Let me entertain you!”


As Pearl danced each night, looking pretty,
Her husband, back in her home city,
was fit to be tied,
thinking maybe she’d died!
Poor fool didn’t have a clue, did he!


Unbeknownst to sweet Pearl, her “dear” spouse
had been sneaking off as she’d played house.
To conventions he’d said
he was going Instead,
he’d been gambling in Vegas, that louse!


Off to strip clubs he’d gone every chance
that he got How he loved to see dance
naked women all sizes
in sexy disguises
while his wife at home longed for romance.


Now the tables were very much turned.
And her husband was feeling quite spurned.
He would sleep restlessly
thinking where could she be!!
But her whereabouts he never learned.


No longer could he run away
on a whim He still had bills to pay.
That cleaning and cooking
meant no time for looking
at girls! He had less time to play.


In Vegas, his wife had come far.
In fact, she was a superstar.
Wearing naught but a fan,
she’d entice every man,
then drive home in a pearl-colored car!


Her spouse lost his job The years fled.
His wife he then had declared dead.
But with no job in sight,
he’d stay home each night,
with loneliness causing him dread.


Do you think this guy ever has let
his conscience feel any regret
that his wife did so much
while he gambled and such?
Has he learned anything at all yet?


Did he marry and get a new bride?
Did Pearl go and change her sweet ride
to a sleek red Corvette,
and did SHE marry yet?
I leave it to YOU to decide!


COMPILED BY J S BROCA 


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Category: Humour  One Comment

LIMERICK ON A BORE…..

NEXT LIMERICK


Subject: A BORE…..


It is a sad truth that everyone is a BORE to someone.


A Bore said to me: Admit it. Life would be so boring without me. 


Here is a limerick on an example of boredom…..


There was this engineer from Bangalore,


Who was afraid he was such a bore,


He spoke either of software,


Or of computer hardware,


And people just headed for the door.


BTW, I HOPE MY LIMERICKS DO NOT BORE YOU! EVEN IF THEY BORE YOU, THANK GOD THERE IS NO GST ON THEM FOR YOU!


Image result for A BORE CLIP ART

 

 

Category: Humour  2 Comments

BREAKING GST NEWS

BREAKING GST NEWS


News: Alcohol out of GST for now, but beer will still get costlier.


So you all beer lovers enjoy these 3 limericks from my old diary, until the prices go up!!


One day my mouth felt so dry


And I thought I was about to die.


Then I saw the word “Beer”,


And one salty tear


Of happiness escaped from my eye.


 


What is hoppy and brings us good cheer?


Not a froggy, I promise, my dear!


It’s brown, black and tan,


And can come in a can.


It’s deliciously wonderful beer!


 


What is to our hearts so dear?


What makes the whole world cheer?


What is it we praise


In millions of ways —


Could it be a thing other than Beer?!


 


COMPILED BY J S BROCA 1ST JULY 2017 GST DAY


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Category: Humour  2 Comments