Archive for » March, 2010 «

Monkey Business–Part II

Author: Mar 31
Monkey Business–Part II
 
Having finished my last stock of Bananas, I thought of sharing some Monkey Jokes with you (Yes! There are many of them jumping here n there on the internet !)
 
My favourites are as under :
 
Monkey Joke-I  
 
 
Monkey Joke-II 
 
Monkey Joke -III
 
Well this one is a funny ad on an Indian brand of underwear ! I love it for its wit and excution. Click on or go to the following link please ! Don’t be afraid ! Be Macho Yaar !!
  
Title of the ad on Youtube : amul macho – orangutan
 
BTW, the model girl in the ad is named SANA KHAN ,who has some ads and some south Indian movies to her credit.She has her own fan club too ! Here are some of her pictures :
 

 
                                        
     
                          
 
I’ll take a B..R..E..A..K.. till I check to see that my innerwears are safe on the clothesline and the monkeys have not looted them !
  
See you soon with MONKEY BUSINESS -PART III !
 
Category: Cartoons, Humour, Social Commentry  One Comment

2B or not 2B

Author: Mar 30
2B or not 2B
  
Dear readers, I recently read a delightfully funny little poem composed by a poet named Spike Milligan.
 
It is a humourous take on  Shakespears ” To Be Or Not To Be…”
 
I would like to share it with you. Here it is :
Silly Poem

Said Hamlet to Ophelia,
I’ll draw a sketch of thee,
What kind of pencil shall I use?
2B or not 2B?
 
– Spike Milligan.
 
E…n…j…o….y….e…d….?
 
For those who are interested,here is some information about the poet :
 
Terence Alan Patrick Seán Milligan (16 April 1918 – 27 February 2002), known as Spike Milligan, was an Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet and playwright. Milligan was the co-creator, main writer and a principal cast member of The Goon Show, performing a range of roles including the popular Eccles.Milligan wrote and/or edited many books, including Puckoon and his six-volume autobiographical account of his time serving during the Second World War, beginning with Adolf Hitler: My part in his downfall. He is also noted as a popular writer of comical verse, much of his poetry was written for children, including Silly Verse for Kids (1959). After enormous success with the ground-breaking British radio programme, The Goon Show, Milligan translated this success to television with Q5; a surreal sketch show which is credited as a major influence on the members of Monty Python’s Flying Circus. 
 
      
 
                                  
 
Category: Humour, People, Social Commentry  21 Comments

Monkey Business-Part I

Author: Mar 28

MONKEY BUSINESS :

I read the following poem in Muse :

Poetry

By Sandra Martyres, Mar 27, 2010
Mumbai, INDIA, sandra.martyres@gmail.com

Peanuts – Anyone ??? 

  
  
Candidate No 1
 
“If you pay peanuts
Only monkeys will
Probably work for you”,
so said the candidate
To her prospective boss
He remained undeterred
“What if I raise the bar
And offer a cashewnut”
He yelled out – but she
Had already walked out
 
Candidate No 2
 
“Please come in” he said
“Make yourself comfortable
While I make myself some tea”
The candidate was surprised
But said nothing, just watched
“How do you like peanuts”
He shot the first question
“Don’t mind them Sir”
Her reply came as a surprise,
“No further questions
Young lady – you’re hired”
“But Sir ” she started to say
” Now what’s the problem
You said you liked peanuts
And that’s what I pay!!!”
 
My response :
  
Dear Sandra, the main quote : “If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys,”  is attributed to one James Goldsmith. That reminds me of another funny quote :”Monkeys are superior to men in this: when a monkey looks into a mirror, he sees a monkey !” so said Malcom De Chazal.
  
Further :”There’s a statistical theory that if you gave a million monkeys typewriters and set them to work, they’d eventually come up with the complete works of Shakespeare !”. Thanks to the Internet, we now know this isn’t true.
 
This poem bought out the monkey in me !
 
I started collecting jokes,poems,facts,pictures etc etc on monkeys !
 
Here is my collection:
Hope you will enjoy my monkey business ! 

1.A Parable…The Tale of the Hunter, The Monkey & The Peanuts….

hunter
There’s an oft repeated tale about how certain hunters in Africa catch monkeys.  It can be very difficult to corral these intelligent creatures, so hunters have used a more inventive method…trapping a monkey by enticing him.  A small jar is placed at the base of a tree with nuts or other items which may attract the monkey’s curiosity. 
 
The opening of the jar allows the monkey to place his hand in, but when he tries to withdraw it, he is unable to do so without letting go of the contents of the jar.  Believe it or not, some monkeys will stay there with their hand in the jar until the hunter comes back to trap them!  They are trapped because they are unwilling to let go of something they are doing which is working against them.
  
It’s not just monkeys who get trapped by what we are unwilling to release.  While, most of us would not be tempted by peanuts or sweets in a jar, it’s amazing the things we will hang onto rather than release them so we can move on.  As a Realtor, I witness this phenomenon all the time.  The peanuts are quite conventional; I’ve got to obtain this Price for my house…irregardless of the market or I must have this home even though I can’t really afford the payments. There may be variations on these themes, but in the end they’re still peanuts…unrealistic expectations held on to at the expense of moving forward and achieving our goals & desires.
  
The real estate process often involves the 3 main components of this story; the Hunter, the Monkey & the Jar of Peanuts.  Buyers &monkey Sellers are the significant players in the real estate process.  Sometimes, there is a tendency to behave like the monkey with the hand stuck in the jar for a few peanuts.  Instead of drawing back, taking the hand out of the jar to reconsider options and listen to sound counsel, so many get trapped by the peanuts. 
 
Peanuts are the misguided rewards that we think we desperately need.  Peanuts are symbolized by the Price that the Property must be worth because so much has been put into improvements.  Peanuts talk to the monkey even though they have no audible voice.  They convince the monkey that if you hold on to this for long enough, you will get what you want.  Peanuts lie!  Letting go of false assumptions is what will bring fulfillment to the desire & this can only be done by stopping the action of holding on to those peanuts. 
  
Holding on to an Artificially Inflated Price which the current market cannot support is listening to the Peanuts Lie.  Refusing to let go of clutter that serves no useful purpose and is hindering the sale of your home traps the hand in the peanut jar.  Looking for the , perfect home, in the perfect neighborhood, with  the perfect neighbors at the perfect price etc. ad nauseum ensures that your dream will never become a reality because…I tell you truth…Those peanuts will lie to you & then trap you! Once you move into the perfect neighborhood, you can rest assured, it will no longer be perfect.
  
The Hunter represents market forces.  The market needs players so it offers attractive opportunities. The number of financing vehicles, housing choices & selling tools  available to home buyers and home sellers has created many options &  provided a diverse variety of peanut jars. The market doesn’t really care which monkey is snared by the contents of the jar.  It knows that some monkeys will pass by it’s offers & simply decide that peanuts just aren’t’ an attractive choice on the menu at the moment. 
  
The Hunter also figures that a certain percentage of monkeys will recognize a trap when they see one & won’t fall for the ruse.  But, it gambles that enough monkeys will not figure out a very simply solution to the dilemma.  Simply, let go of the peanuts, release your hand from the trap, turn the jar upside down & then you can have your peanuts & not get trapped!  The monkeys who have their Freedom & Eat Their Peanuts as well are those who realize that sometimes you have to let go of an outdated or incorrect assumption or ideals in order to move forward. 
  
Sometimes, the action you take to STOP doing the wrong thing is the most important action you take because it allows you to see more clearly the best solution & option available to you.
  
Instead of demanding the highest price, simply stop being unrealistic.  Instead of taking several jobs to support a lifestyle we cannot afford, simply stop spending more money than you make or sell your house & move to something more affordable. We would be so much further ahead. if we concentrated on simply stopping doing a few of the things that we are doing which impede our progress  Instead of thinking like the monkey who is committed to getting a few peanuts out of a jar at the expense of his life & freedom, we can stop and  let go of the peanuts  & choose intelligent solutions.  This technique works for real estate & for life!
  
Wait for the next part- MONKEY BUSINESS PART II, till I finish eating my bananas !
Category: Humour, People, Social Commentry  Leave a Comment

Emulate Narada to be a good manager

Author: Mar 22
Emulate Narada to be a good manager   
I had read this article in September 1998 and had liked it a lot. I have shared it time and again with my MBA students since it gives some valuable tips to the generation of today as to how to become a good and an effective manager.Here it is,for my readers to ponder upon and reflect :
————————————————
This is based on a question as to why is Narada so much revered and respected which is asked by Yudhisthir in the Mahabharata, as was elaborated by Swami Parmanada Bharati to a group of professionals and managers.
Narada is a grand strategist just as a leader also has to be. Generally in our films we portray him as a schemer and manipulator but it is not so. The fact is that Narada is an excellent strategist; which is a quality that all managers must have, to be able to manage things in an organisation to meet specific aims and objectives. We should however note the difference between how a manager manages his work and how Narada does so. Narada is not serving any self-interest. He is doing everything for a higher purpose and never does anything for any selfish gain. Narada causes conflicts, only to direct the people involved towards the higher goal of self-realisation.
A good leader is also one who is prepared to strive and to extend himself for the sake of the spiritual development of himself or thepeople whom he manages. If you manage people so that both they and you grow spiritually, then this is the highest form of management. This is the ideal which we have to follow as leaders, as professionals and as managers. 
Some of the other qualities we have to emulate to be an ideal manager are as follows:
Qualities of Narada :

The more the knowledge and skill and goodness you have the more humility you must have. The less the ego, the more effective you are as a manager.

Not indulging in sense pleasures but ever engaged in doing his duties. No trace of anger. Not resorting to restlessness and not undertaking unnecessary work, no extra movement of hands, legs, etc. Fearless. Not indulging in procrastination.Never be afraid or hesitate to do what is dharma.Fulfils his promises and forgoes his own gains or wants.

Well versed in theory and practice required and acknowledged as an adept.Ever ready to forgive but not as  weakness.Ever alert and energetic but not a slave to sensuous pleasures.

Does not say unpleasant truth. Truthful, but because it is the truth he does not go on saying it, and speaks pleasantly and pleasing truth; does not lie merely to be pleasing and pleasant.

Simplicity (but of nature that does not mean he is a fool or that he dresses in tom or outdated clothes).Is susheel (difficult to give an English equivalent but means full of good qualities.)

If we practice any one sadguna, gradually all good qualities shall come. There is nobody who has no sadguna. At least one good quality is there in everyone, every animal, every plant, etc. By that one good quality that person can develop himself. Similarly, we must avoid even a single bad quality.Contented. Detached involvement. Moderate in sleep, food, etc. Speaks pleasantly.

Does not have jealousy.Does good without talking about it. Does not feel happy when others are in sorrow.Samatvam. Maintains his equilibrium.No strong likes and dislikes.

He is full of joy and jokes but does not hurt anyone.Is a good communicator and explains things through verses from Vedas, to illustrate the points.Has forbearance. He forgives personal insults but not society or group insults.

Takes action whenever a wrong is committed to anyone, not merely when it is against him.Does not insult anyone.Does not quarrel over money, woman, etc.Has firm devotion to God.Does not criticise.

Good communicator and orator.  Never praises himself nor expects a reward for performing his duties.As a leader he is fully alert to see who is doing good/ bad work and is ever ready to reward and punish as needed.Soft spoken.

Notices and observes strengths, faults of all but never tells faults of one to another. Does not speak unnecessarily of one to another.Has excellent judgement on what responsibilitycan be given to whom and to what extent without letting extraneous considerations like friendship affecting his judgement.

Does not try to find faults in the shastras but has shraddha in its teachings. Has firm principles and lives without deviating from these.Never wastes time and thus sets a good role model for others to follow.Is always in full control of the situation.

Has high standards and understands the essence of the shastras, and has a firm grasp of its application.Is always active, fully alert and is never careless or callous.

Is ever conscious of the right time, muhurta and follows it exactly, very punctual.Is modest.Is ever interested in the well-being of others.

Never reveals the secrets of one to another.  Not a miser, does not indulge in self-pity.Is scholarly, without anger and without cheating or falsifying.Always happy either in loss or gain.Is unattached, with a firm mind and is expert and skilful in what he does.Is free from disease. 

Regular and moderate in habits — food, sleep, etc.Understands the value of time and makes full and good use of it.Knows the atmatatva the reality that he is the Atman and therefore a good human being.

His world-view of reality is firm and based on the foundation of the shastras and therefore the whole superstructure of his personality is sound and perfect.

Because his foundation and inner convictions are based on a perfect understanding of the truth therefore his whole life and personality are always directed towards the goal — the goal of self-realisation, which is the common goal of everyone.

Dharma: It is necessary today for managers to understand the complexities of dharma. Why? Because the managers are the leaders of the nation. It is their job to manage things. Specialists, professionals even administrators or politicians cannot be as good in managing things as the managers.
If managers are the leaders,and since it is their responsibility to manage then they have a lot to learn from the ideal managers — Rama, Krishna and Narada who is a master manager and whose qualities are being discussed .
These qualities have to be our role model and these qualities are necessary in a good leader and an effective manager.
 
Copyright © 1998 Indian Express Newspapers (Bombay) Ltd. ( FE 12.09.1998)
From :Managerial Effectiveness Edited by  Sunil Kumar–Excel Books   Price :Rs 395/-
 
   
Compiled by J S BROCA
Category: Heritage, Ideas, People  7 Comments

Recruitment Humour

Author: Mar 22

Recruitment Humour

HRD

How many HR staff does it take to change a lightbulb?

Lightbulb_exploding 

Let us forget the recent recessionary trends in the industry in apna desh  

While teaching some MBA students, I met a few who are specializing in HRD ! 

I asked them a simple question : How many HR staff does it take to change a lightbulb?  

I  received some interesting answers :

  • One to change the light bulb.
  • The second to assess the risk of the light bulb changing process.
  • A third to ensure the light bulb changing process adheres to the internal compliance regime for health and safety during light bulb changes.
  • A fourth to ensure that the internal purchase order procedures have been adhered with for light bulb change orders.
  • A fifth to audit the supply of the light bulb following the internal purchase order procedure.
  • A sixth to report back to the compliance and risk functions that the supply and audit divisions had complied with the light bulb change risk and compliance procedures.
  • A seventh to monitor that the light bulb was changed by a member of staff who was cleared by the concerned department to be authorised with light bulb changing management.
  • And an eighth being the most important………they are responsible for costing the light bulb changing process and being creative enough to incorporate the pricing of the eight people into their customers’ monthly billing statement without their customer noticing.
 LOONY  PLACEMENT  POLICIES….??   
      
How to recruit the right person for the job?
 
Here is what is termed as Bricks Recruitment Policy :
 
Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window.
  
Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.
  
Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.
  
If they are counting the bricks. Put them in the Accounts Department.
  
If they are recounting them. Put them in Auditing.

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order. Put them in Planning.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other. Put them in Operations.

If they are sleeping. Put them in Security.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces. Put them in Information Technology.
If they are sitting idle. Put them in Human Resources.
If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved. Put them in Sales.
If they have already left for the day. Put them in Marketing.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks. Put them in Engineering.
If they are staring out of the window. Put them on Strategic Planning.
And then last but not least.
If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved.
 
Congratulate them and put them in Top Management.
WHOM TO LAY OFF OR NOT…?

 RECRUITMENT OF PILOTS  

The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in a recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby Air Force base be opened, and that all eligible young men and women be invited.

As he and his staff were standing near a brand new Jet Fighter, a pair of twin brothers who looked like they had just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them. The chief of staff stuck out his hand and introduced himself.

He looked at the first young man and asked, “Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?”

The young man looks at him and says, “I’m a pilot!”

The general gets all excited, turns to his aide and says, “Get him in today, all the paper work done, everything, do it!”

The aide hustles the young man off. The general looks at the second young man and asked, “What skills to you bring to the Air Force?”

The young man says, “I chop wood!”

“Son,” the general replies, “we don’t need wood choppers in the Air Force, what do you know how to do?”

“I chop wood!”

“Young man,” huffs the general, “you are not listening to me, we don’t need wood choppers; this is the 21st century!”

“Well,” the young man says, “you hired my brother!”

“Of course we did,” says the general, “he’s a pilot!”

The young man rolls his eyes and says, “So what! I have to chop it before he can pile it!”

 I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed posting these funnies ! Keep Smiling !

Category: Current Affairs, Humour, People, Social Commentry  4 Comments

I Love you Rasna…!

Author: Mar 20
Remember RASNA Girl ?
 
rwbrasnakid1.jpg  
 
Yes I still remember–Ankita Jhaveri, the original cute Rasna Girl of the eighties in “I LOVE YOU RASNA” ads
 
To become nostalgic, see the following old videos on Youtube :
 
 
 
This BRAND belongs to M/S PIOMA INDUSTRIES AHMEDABAD.
 
A  brief profile of the company is as under :
  
They are one of the largest manufacturers and worldwide exporters of processed food products from India under the brand name of RASNA.

Their product range comprises of  Instant Drink Mixes in Powder formats, Fruit Cordials and Rose Syrups, Carbonated Drinks, Confectionery, Canned Indian Curry Dishes and retort packs, Premium Indian Pickles and a variety of other processed foods.
  

Address : Rasna House,
Panchwati
Ahmedabad, Gujarat, 380006
India
Web Site :
  
  
It commenced business in 1984.
 
Now switchover to following news item in Hindustan Times of 18th March 2010 :
 
Vivek Sinha, Hindustan Times
New Delhi, March 18, 2010 (HT)
  
Kids are not what they used to be. No kidding.
  
Just ask Rasna, the brand that made home-made squash a national trend by combining a variety of value-priced soft drink concentrates with the cuteness of a girl.
  
It turns out that the brand that made waves in the 1980s is now repositioning itself, aided by new wisdom from kids who marketers say play a major role in deciding what goes into middle-class grocery lists.
  
In the place of a girl who said, “I love you Rasna,” to the accompaniment of dolls comes a naughty child who is gadget-friendly, creative, and you guessed it, more assertive.
 
“Naughtiness of a child is now considered a virtue and that explains Rasna’s change in punch line to shararat ek ghoont (naughtiness a sip) from I love you Rasna”, Piruz Khambatta, chairman and managing director Rasna told Hindustan Times.
 
Rasna is a near-monopoly in the concentrated soft drink game, with a 97 per cent market share, say industry officials.
 
Khambatta, whose Ahmedabad company was aided by inspired advertising created by the Ambani-controlled Mudra Communications, said a child in today’s time has a go-getter attitude.
 
“In fact, kids easily identify with a brand that partners with their vision to explore, discover and promises a break from the mundane and regular. The cute child image of Rasna during the 80s will not work in this changed scenario,” explained Khambatta.
 
The change comes after research that indicated a perceptible shift in both motherhood and children.  Motherhood now means more freedom to a child, Khambatta said.
 
But the product pitch of the value-for-money Rasna stays put.
“We are willing to take a hit on our margins rather than increase the price and lose our customers,” Khambatta said.
Pioma Industries
 
Here is the latest on the Rasna Girl :
 I am sure most of those who watched DD in the ’80s remember a series of ads that preceded the programmes. And many of us have a strong recall value of those ads which bring nostalgic memories. Reason being the intensity with which we watched Doordarshan.
One among those was the RASNA ad (an ad that sent kids scampering to parents, demanding a glassful too) which had a cute and chubby girl saying before the ad ended: I love you Rasna!
 
In the mid ’80s, the Rasna ad was a huge hit when it was played right between the cartoon Spiderman, shown on Sunday evenings. The ad showed a lot of kids drinking Rasna, and included one fat uncle (Umpire Swaroop Kishan) who drank a huge jug of Rasna.
 
The jingle went like “Ras ki rachna Rasna Tarah tarah ke swaad ki rachna rasna RASNA!” .
 
Everytime they added some new flavour, the ad and the jingle would be modified. The ad showed a cute girl saying: I love you Rasna! (She was one more reason for the ad being a hit.)
 
Time changes everything. Sometimes, the changes are so drastic that it makes you feel uneasy. Ankita Jhaveri, the cute kid whom we saw in the Rasna ad has certainly grown up! (See photos above)
 
Ankita, now an actress, debuted in the Telugu film Lahiri Lahiri Lahiri Lo.For a while, the audience seemed okay with her in spite of the fact that she wasn’t ready to do any glamorous roles. Her song in Simhadri, ‘Cheema Cheema’ set the screen ablaze. But after flops engulfed her career, she hasn’t seen one successful film so far. From Seetaramudu and Raraju she pinned hopes to revive her career but that too failed. But, her career downslide began when she attempted suicide when the unit was shooting a song sequence abroad.
Her career in Tollywood never recovered from that bad publicity. She tried her luck in Tamil film industry and failed.
 
I don’t know where she is today ? Do you ?
 
    
 

 

Category: Comments to print media, Nostalgia, People, Social Commentry  13 Comments

Two Equations

Author: Mar 19

Two Equations.
 
There has been a lot of controversy about gay rights activism in India.There have been exchanges of views between the two lobbies- for and against. It has been opined that a same sex marriage performed in accordance with the rites prescribed by the Hindu Marriage Act could “arguably be considered legally valid,” as neither the act nor the Hindu religion explicitly defines marriage in terms of gender.Even so, Indian views on this issue remain widely very conservative, and the subject is generally considered to be a taboo. Sometime ago,during a visit to India by the Canadian Prime Minster,the Indian Prime Minister was reportedly asked by a journalist what he thought of the new law allowing gay marriages in Canada. His reply was that “there would not be much appreciation for a law like that in India,” and he went on to talk about how they were culturally very different societies.The supreme Sikh religious body, the Akal Takht, has issued an edict condemning gay marriages and has told Sikhs living in Canada not to support or allow gay marriages in gurudwaras.If I recall correctly,sometime in 2005, two unnamed women in Hyderabad had asked the Darul Qaza, an Islamic court, for a fatwa allowing them to marry, but permission was denied with a rebuke from the chief Qazi.Further,as per my knowledge,none of the Christian associations in India have supported same-sex marriages.
 
Having seen the serious side of the matter,I now present a slightly lighter side through a poem written by a poet named Hiabu Hassebu. I happened to read it on some other forum sometime ago and I liked it so I am sharing it with you.
 
Two Equations

by Hiabu Hassebu 

The local gays made their case,
with a louder noise raised their voice,
to get wedded as couples.
They declared their issue clear,
to get married legally, that’s what they care.
The poet was forced to give his opinion,
in a mathematical equation.
As one + one = two,
gay + gay = two gays,
two identity without fertility.
As one + zero is always one,
a natural equation.
Made, between man and a woman,
of a union to be born one.
 
 
  
Copyright © 2009
——————————————————————-
Your reactions and responses are welcome.
   

 

Category: Comments to print media, Humour, Social Commentry  3 Comments

KIDS,MOMS AND DADS….

Author: Mar 16
KIDS,MOMS AND DADS
 
(A)
 
WHY GOD MADE MOMS 
 

Here are some of the answers given by 2nd grade school children to  the  following questions: 
Why did God make mothers? 

1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 
2. Mostly to clean the house. 
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers? 

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. 
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me.He just used bigger parts. 

What ingredients are mothers made of ? 
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and  everything  nice in the world and one dab of mean. 
2. They had to get their start from men’s bones.Then they mostly  use  string, I think. 
Why did God give you your mother and not some other  mom?  1. We’re related. 
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other  people’s moms like me. 
What kind of little girl was your mom? 

1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of  that  other stuff. 
2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my  guess would be pretty bossy. 
3. They say she used to be nice. 
What did Mom need to know about dad before she married  him? 
1. His last name. 
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook?
     Does he get  drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to
    drugs and YES to chores? 
Why did your mom marry your dad? 

 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world.And my Mom  eats a lot. 
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn’t have her  thinking cap on.
Who’s the boss at your house? 

1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed. 
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more  to do than dad. 

What’s the difference between moms & dads? 
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. 
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s. 
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time? 
1. Mothers don’t have spare time.. 
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. 

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside,I think some kind of  plastic surgery. 
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? 
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d
    get rid of that. 
2. I’d make my mom smarter. Then she would know it
    was my sister who  did it and not me. 
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible  eyes on  the back of her head.
(B) 
Here are a few lovely poems on the subject :
E..N..J..O..Y…!
  

Mother’s Prayer

Dear Lord, it’s such a hectic day,
With little time to stop and pray,
For life’s been anything but calm,
Since you called on me to be a mom.

Running errands, matching socks,
Building dreams with building blocks.
Cooking, cleaning, and finding shoes,
And other stuff that children lose.

Fitting lids on bottled bugs,
Wiping tears and giving hugs.
A stack of last week’s mail to read,
So where’s the quiet time I need?

Yet when I steal a minute Lord,
Just at the sink or ironing board,
To ask the blessings of your grace,
I see then in my small one’s face,

That you have blessed me all the while,
As I stop to kiss that precious smile.

…Author Unknown

A Mother’s Love

This world has jewels, money, land
position, power, and mansions grand
But a mother’s love more precious far,
than all these other treasures are.

A mother nurtures, guides, protects
Her teachings each child’s life affects,
and when in later years they go,
away from home, and friends they know
Those teachings will provide the stay,
to keep them on the good straight way.

Though some may stray to taste the fruits,
of worldly pleasures — still the roots
of Mother’s teachings, love, and care
will some day draw them back to where,
the Savior’s love can them enfold,
and fill them with a spirit bold.

So children, each and every day,
honor your mother in some way —
To show that you appreciate,
she taught you how to love, not hate.
To comfort you, to guide, to lead,
to be there in your time of need.

But best of all, — to show the way,
that leads to home with God some day.

…Brenda Ascott Fry  

Why God made little girls?

God made the world with its towering trees,
majestic mountains and restless seas,
then paused and said, “It needs one more thing.”
Someone to laugh and dance and sing,
to walk in the woods and gather flowers,
to commune with nature in quiet hours.
So God made little girls
with laughing eyes and bouncing curls,
with joyful hearts, and beautiful smiles,
enchanting ways and feminine wiles.
And when He’d completed the task He’d begun,
he was pleased and proud of the job He’d done.
For the world when seen through a little girl’s eyes
greatly resembles paradise.

…Author Unknown      

  Daddy’s Day !                                         

Her hair up in a pony tail, her favorite dress tied with a bow
Today was Daddy’s Day at school, and she couldn’t wait to go
But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home
Why the kids might not understand, if she went to school alone
But she was not afraid; she knew just what to say
What to tell her classmates, on this Daddy’s Day
But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone
And that was why once again, she tried to keep her daughter home
But the little girl went to school, eager to tell then all
About a dad she never sees, a dad who never calls.
There were daddies along the wall in back, for everyone to meet
Children squirming impatiently, anxious in their seats
One by one the teacher called, a student from the class
To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed
At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare
Each of them were searching, for a man who wasn’t there
“Where’s her daddy at?” she heard a boy call out
“She probably doesn’t have one,” another student dared to shout
And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say
“Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day.”
The words did not offend her, as she smiled at her friends
And looked back at her teacher, who told her to begin
And with hands behind her back, slowly she began to speak
And out from the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique
“My Daddy couldn’t be here, because he lives so far away
But I know he wishes he could be with me on this day
And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know
All about my daddy, and how much he loves me so
He loved to tell me stories, he taught me to ride my bike
He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite
We used to share fudge sundaes and ice cream in a cone
And though you cannot see him, I’m not standing all alone
‘Cause my daddy’s always with me, even though we are apart
I know because he told me, he’ll forever be here in my heart.”
With that her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest
Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress
And from somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears
Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years
For she stood up for the love of a man not in her life
Doing what was best for her, doing what was right
And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd
She finished with a voice so soft, but its message clear and loud
“I love my daddy very much, he’s my shining star,
And if he could he’d be here, but heaven’s just too far,
But sometimes when I close my eyes, it’s like he never went away.”
And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day
And to her mother’s amazement, she witnessed with surprise
A room full of daddies and children, all starting to close their eyes
Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside
Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him at her side.
“I know you’re with me Daddy,” to the silence she called out
And what happened next made believers, of those once filled with doubt
Not one in that room could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed
But there placed on her desktop, was a beautiful fragrant pink rose
And a child was blessed, if only a moment, by the love of her shining bright star
And given the gift of believing, that heaven is never too far.

…Cheryl Costello-Forshey

********************************************************************
Yes,kids will be kids always,but we moms and dads sometimes need to stoop down to the level of the kids,I believe.

What do you say,my dear readers ?

Before I bid goodbye, here is the link to one of my favourite bollywood songs on the subject of moms: “Tu kitni achchi hai,
tu kitni bholi hai……” from the old (1968) movie ‘Raja Aur Rank’:
  

Category: Humour, Ideas, People  2 Comments

The Perfect Time to …..

Author: Mar 14

The Perfect Time to …..

I read with great interest the following news report,a few days ago.

“11 am is perfect time for coffee break”

Press Trust Of India, London, March 11, 2010 (HT)

If you are among those who desperately need a midmorning coffee break, then go for it at 11 a.m., as scientists claim a formula they have devised proves that ‘elevenses’ is the best time to drink your brew.

The Oxford University research also shows that a tasty Americano is not the only requirement — lights, music, aroma and good company need to be added to the mix.

The experts developed the formula (M = 0.5 x F + (0.5 x E + 0.3 x P + 0.15 x C + 0.05 x T) by combining various factors such as great flavour (F) with the perfect environment (E), the container it comes in (P), who you drink coffee with (C) and the time of day you enjoy your coffee break (T) to create the most enjoyable coffee moment (M).

After applying this formula, the scientists found11 amis the best time to have a coffee bream, in a well-lit room with friends and nice music in the background, the Daily Mail reported.

Prof Charles Spence, from the Department of Experimental Psychology atOxfordUniversity, who led the research, said: “The formula describes how to create the perfect coffee moment at home or at work. We have known for some time that our taste buds are a vital part of the taste experience. “However, we can now pinpoint the exact sensory conditions required to enjoy coffee, or any other food and drink.”

This set me thinking…….

Is there a a perfect time for writing a poem…? Is there a perfect formula for a perfect poem…?

I feel, there are some factors in common with the coffee formula discussed above.

1. F- the Flavour of the poem one is trying to write, is important. Is it a sad poem? A happy poem? A funny poem? A serious poem ? How is the writer/poet exactly himself/herself feeling at that point of time, is also important. What is inside you, comes out in the form of poetry, I believe. Very often, one’s own real-life experiences dictate the tone and flavour of the poem under consideration. Sometimes, we hear about someone else’s problems and we sympathise with him/her and our thoughts take a concrete shape and out comes a poem.

2.E-the Environment under which he/she is working, has a great role to play in the ultimate end result-the poem. I am attending a “Hasya Kavi Sammelan” and I hear a quip or a joke that reminds me of a similar situation I faced sometime ago and out comes my funny poem. A lover boy has just broken up with his last girlfriend and if he is the sort of guy who loves putting his emotions on paper, out will plop a sad piece of gut-wrenching poem. You are sitting in a bar and having your daily dose with your group of friends and some one recites a lovely sher. You are a poetic soul and being touched with the central idea of the sher, outcome will be a serious piece of poem. You are in your bed-room with you know who, and she is cooing sweet nothings into your ears. You smile ….and put your bedroom musings on paper the next morning-a love poem !   

3. P- the Container in the coffee episode needs a slight modification here. Here P should stand for the Plight of the poet’s heart/mind/body/mood etc. at that point of time. If you have lost a heavy amount in the stock market, your feeling of having lost everything will be reflected in your poem, provided of course, you are in a state of mind to pen your thoughts. If your wife has gone with the kids to her maika for a month’s vacation, you feel like a free bird and express your feelings in a chirpy little poem. The Editor of a local magazine, has returned your last poem with a regret letter-and you want to call him names and vent your ire on the entire breed of editors-out comes a poem full of anger at how the world functions and how talent is not given due credit etc. You are having a cold bath in your bathroom and recall a funny song from a Hindi movie- “Thandey thandey paani sey nahaana chahiey,gaana aayey yaa naa aaye gaana chahiey…” Your heart soars with naughty thought and as soon as you are out of your bathroom, you rush to your desk to pen your musings…a naughty little love song about a monsoon shower with your beloved-you know who!  

4.C-stands for your Companion, with whom you are sitting at a point of time. Your secretary in your office for example. She is lovely, nicely dressed in trendy clothes and takes your dictation without any complaints. Involuntarily, and quite naturally, you start comparing her with you know who-her dowdy looks, her out of fashion clothes, her no-nonsense approach to your requests, she dictates, you accept all her commands unconditionally….Well you can imagine what sort of poem you will come out with…! Your mother-in-law has come visiting your home and she is having a cup of tea with you-her son-in-law while discussing some secret agenda she has prepared in connivance with you know who. You will be secretly saying: “Atithi Tum Kab Jaogey ?” (Thats the title of a recent Hindi movie..).When she has gone you will come out of your reverie and compose that poem oozing oodles and oodles of vitriol against the entire clan of m-in-laws. Won’t you ?

5.T – is for the Time of the day. Yes it is quite similar to the coffee episode. You have just got up fresh from sleep on a Sunday morning and over your morning cuppa you read the day’s headlines. India beats Pakistan in a hockey match. Your day begins on a happy note and you write a winner too. Sachin makes another record, you read. You salute the young master’s spirits and out comes a poem with an equally stunning words full of promise and looking forward to a rosy future. You have just returned home after a hard day at office. Your, you know who, has a long list of complaints-our son has failed in English in his final exams, the maid servant has eloped with a watchman from the locality, fridge has conked out, but the mechanic has not yet come because you did not have time to lodge a complaint etc. You curse the school teachers, the agency that provided you the services of a maid servant, the poor quality of after sales service from the dealer from whom you had recently purchased the fridge, and your venom against the world at large, comes out in the form of a long narrative about the travails and trifles of a married man and the hassles he has to go through to maintain office and home life balance. Sounds familiar terrain, no ? Yes you can read the unwritten poem aloud, I feel.   

6.M-is for the most enjoyable Moment-the moment when you have composed a poem whose quality or content will be governed by the afore-mentioned 5 factors. 

I know there are many learned members on this forum, so I leave the final derivation part of the equation to them: ie:

M= a x F + b x E + c x P + d x C + e x T 

Of course, each one of us will have his/her own variable like in the perfect coffee hour equation. 

By the way, there could be other factors than those which I have discussed above, but I have used the coffee equation model and so have restricted them to five only. 

So let me have your comments please. Incidentally, this piece has been written late at night when all have gone to bed and I am at last in peace with my self for having achieved my purpose in penning this stuff. Hope it is up to your taste.  

E..n..j..o..y..!! 

 
  
  11 O’clock          Coffee
 
              A Poem
Category: Comments to print media, Humour, Social Commentry  20 Comments

Poetry in Golden Oldies….

Author: Mar 12
Poetry in Golden Oldies
 
Today, I was once again transported to another world of old Hindi film songs of fifties,when I chanced to hear a simple but lovely melodious composition sung by the late Geeta Dutt, while enjoying a nice punjabi lunch at a dhaba !!
  
The brief details of the song are as under :
 
Song :Ae Dil Mujhe Bata De…….
Film – Bhai Bhai (1956 )
Music Director – Madan Mohan
Lyricist – Rajendra Krishan
Singer – Geeta Dutt
 
The wordings of the song are as under :

Ae Dil Mujhe Bata De, Tu Kis Pe Aa Gaya Hai
Woh Kaun Hai Jo Aakar, Khwaabon Pe Chhaa Gaya Hai….(2)
 

1.
Masti Bhara Tarana, Kyon Raat Gaa Rahi Hai
Aankhon Mein Neend Aakar Kyon Door Jaa Rahi Hai….(2)

Dil Mein Koi Sitamgar, Armaan Jaga Gaya Hai
Woh Kaun Hai Jo Aakar, Khwaabon Pe Chhaa Gaya Hai
Ae Dil Mujhe Bata De…….
 

2.
Betaab Ho Raha Hai, Yeh Dil Machal Machal Ke
Shaayad Yeh Raat Beete Karwat Badal Badal Ke….(2)
Ae Dil Zara Sambhal Jaa, Shaayad Woh Aa Gaya Hai
Woh Kaun Hai Jo Aakar, Khwaabon Pe Chhaa Gaya Hai

Ae Dil Mujhe Bata De……
 

3.
Bheegi Hui Hawaayein, Mausam Bhi Hai Gulaabi
Kya Chaand Kya Sitaare, Har Cheez Hai Sharaabi…(2)
Dheere Se Ek Naghma Koi Suna Gaya Hai
Woh Kaun Hai Jo Aakar, Khwaabon Pe Chhaa Gaya Hai
Ae Dil Mujhe Bata De, Tu Kis Pe Aa Gaya Hai
Woh Kaun Hai Jo Aakar, Khwaabon Pe Chhaa Gaya Hai
Ae Dil Mujhe Bata De…….
 

You can watch this beautiful song on Youtube by going to following link:
 

Here is my attempt at a simple translation of this song :
 
Oh my dear heart, pray do tell me
By whom have you been captured ?
Who’s that lucky stranger, who has entered
Your dream world, enraptured ? 
 
1.
Why does the night sing a lilting melody ?
Why does sleep play hide and seek ?
‘Cause some tormentor has awakened
Many deep desires within me !
 
Oh my dear heart, pray do tell me………
 
2.
My heart’s so restless, singing  a romantic number,
I am going to toss and turn,tonight in my slumber !
Oh my heart please… just calm  down,
Perhaps he has arrived at this very moment !
 
Oh my dear heart, pray do tell me………
 
3.
The coolest winds are blowing,
The weather has me utterly delighted,
The moon and the countless stars
Are in a state of intoxication ! 
Someone has softly sung to me the sweetest melody ! 
 
Oh my dear heart, pray do tell me……… 
 

Oh my dear heart, pray do tell me
By whom have you been captured ?
Who is that lucky guy , who has entered
Into your dream world to be enraptured ?
——————————————————————
I hope you have all enjoyed this nostalgic journey as much as I have. Isn’t it ? 
The translation can be slightly tweaked here and there to sing it in the same tune as the original one in Hindi.
           
  Geeta Dutt        Madan Mohan   Rajendra Krishan
 
As a bonus,here is a short note on Geeta Dutt……..
“Bhai Bhai” [1956] is an Indian Hindi film directed by Nitai Palit. Starring Kishore Kumar, Ashok Kumar, Nirupa Roy, Shyama, Beena and Lila Dulali. 
 
Geetā Dutt ( born Geetā Ghosh Roy Chowdhuri) [November 23, 1930 — July 20, 1972] was a prominent Indian playback singer in Hindi movies in the 1950s and 60s, and also a singer of modern Bengāli songs…. Geeta Dutt was born in 1930 into a rich zamindār’s family as Geeta Ghosh Roy Chowdhuri in Faridpur, (then in Bengal, India; now in Banglādesh). In 1942, her parents shifted to an apartment in Dādar, Bombay (now Mumbai) when she was twelve. There, composer/music director Hanumān Prasād once overheard her singing casually, and, feeling impressed, he offered to impart her training in singing. He launched her in a chorus song in Bhakta Prahlād (1946), where she sang only two lines. But her rendering of those two lines stood out. The following year, she got a major assignment as a playback singer for Do Bhāi, and her renderings in that movie brought Geeta to the forefront as a top playback singer…. …Geeta died of cirrhosis of the liver on July 20, 1972….
 
        
            POSTER OF BHAI BHAI

Category: Nostalgia, People, Poetry in Golden Oldies  4 Comments
« Previous Entries