The Case of the Curious Chicken – Part I (FICTION)
By J.S.Broca
(In a lighter vein) (No Malice Intended)
I like hearing riddles. I love solving mysteries. The most famous mystery or riddle that has hooked my attention till date, is in the form of a question. It is :“ Why did the chicken cross the road ?” I know you are smiling ! “Mr Broca seems to have lost his head,” you may be prompted to say. No, but I’ve lost plenty of sleep over this simple innocuous question.
Since my retirement from my Bank on the last day of May 2009, I have been busy trying to find an acceptable answer to the above question, (having no other better things to do) but all in vain. May be, after six months from now, I will be in a position to satisfy your curiosity!
Meanwhile, I would like to put forth my view points to whet your appetite and invite you all to join me in my search to that elusive answer to the curious question. A person having even one-tenth of the common sense that I claim (?) to have, will answer the question in a jiffy. The most obvious answer is “ Because it wanted to go to the other side !” Simple ? QED ?
No ! I don’t want a simple answer, since, then, how would I justify the title of this piece ? May be the chicken was curious to find out what lay on the other side of the road ? May be, I am more curious to find out the logical reasons for the chicken’s flight !
I shot the question to some of my friends. Here are some of their responses listed at random:
1. I don’t care why it crossed.
2. To hell with the chicken.
3. I have other more important questions to answer.
4. Haven’t you got some other secret agenda?
5. I am a vegetarian, so don’t ask me.
6. You better ask my wife. She knows the latest gossip.
7. May be some naughty boy was chasing it ?
8. When you find out the answer, do send me an sms. OK ?
9. Well, crossing the road is easier, when there is no traffic .
10. Tell me, was it dressed or undressed ?
You see the diversity and hilarity in the above responses ?
Next, I posed the question to some of my fellow poets on this forum (Muse India). Here’s the response from a few of them:
Dr Mallick : May be it wanted to catch a bus to Hyderabad, to come to our office to personally protest against the editorial board’s policy and partiality and ignoring its species. The poets here talk of love, bees, flowers, nature, etcetera but so far,if my memory serves me right, not a single poem on the subject of chickens has been ever written by any poet/poetess worth his/her salt. As a responsible editor, I pledge to write and post a poem trying to answer the million rupee question posed above, within 24 hours, provided our so called new and robust server and the erratic power supply here, do not let me down.
GSP Rao : Well, that’s an interesting question. I will be attending the All India Conference of Chicken Farm Owners at Chickmagloor on next Sunday. This question is likely to be debated hotly there. So, I’ll let you know the Conference’s unanimous view- point when I am back. OK ? Keep posing such intelligent questions, Mr Broca.
Shernaz Wadia :Well, Jitoo, please first let me know whether you are talking of an Indian chicken or a foreign one ? If it is Indian, I doubt whether it would have the courage to even run out of Mrs. Wadia’s fenced bungalow, what to talk of jumping over the fence or even thinking of crossing the road. Moreover, here in Pune, the road in front of our bungalow, does not have any road dividers, so may be the chicken could easily run across the road to the neighbours on the other side, to gather first hand opinion about the living conditions of other chickens housed in the locality. Alas ! I am still waiting to see my chicken back with its findings. I shall submit my report as soon as possible. Meanwhile,Jitoo, mind your own chickens ! Don’t worry about mine or those of my neighbours. GBU !
Atreya Sarma
ear Mr Broca, I am really puzzled as to how a person of your stature can stoop down so low to raise such a lowly question. It has been answered umpteen times by many, if you would have just cared to Google it. Anyhow, I am here in USA and am surprisingly conducting a survey about the crossing habits of American Chicks (I am talking of birds, not girls) and when I come back to India, I shall do a comparative study of Indian chickens. I intend to write a long thesis on the subject and may be earn a doctorate like a few of our worthy colleagues on this forum. How nice it would sound, no? Dr Atreya Sarma !. PhD in Chick-o-logy ! Thanks for your inspiration. Keep it up !
Dr Pooja : Jitoo Uncle, I took the liberty of discussing the question with a few of my serious and not-so-serious patients in my hospital and you will be surprised to hear their responses. I confess it has been a real revelation to me. Here are their replies-verbatim. I haven’t changed a word here or there:
1. I don’t believe that a chicken can cross the road without the help of its mother hen. Must be a cheeky chicken !
2. You are a Doctor, dear Pooja. Have you no other better work instead of asking such foolish questions? I am afraid if you keep pestering me to give an answer, I’ll lose my remaining mental balance !
3. That is indeed a debatable question. I remember once when I had visited my uncle’s poultry farm in our village, a chicken had dared to cross the road right in front of my old uncle’s bespectacled eyes. And you know what he did ? He ran after the running chicken at the speed of Milkha Singh and grabbed it by its neck and brought it back. He then put a warning notice outside the cage: “Road Crossing is Strictly Prohibited“. After that the chickens have become well behaved and no more crossing-the-road incidents have been there. Why don’t you interview my uncle ?
4. I think the chicken was afraid of being caught and converted into a tasty chicken-tikka-masala by the friendly neighbourhood dhaba-wala and so obviously, it must have crossed the road to a safer place. Simple. Any more questions? No ? Then let me finish my afternoon nap.
I would love to go on and one, but I am worried if this piece becomes longer, it may not see the light of the day. So, I’ll end this chapter here. Wait for my next chapter on what other poets/poetesses said in reply to the curious question. Till then enjoy your chicken-curry, while I prepare the draft of my next chapter. Cock-a-doodle-doo !!
J.S.BROCA
New Delhi
jsbroca@yahoo.com
27th November 27, 2009












Kind words