Archive for » February, 2009 «

Kya Inglis Hai ?

KYA INGLIS HAI!

 

Here is a delightful piece from Hindustan Times, which I just loved for its implied and direct humour, so I am sharing it with readers:

 

When you gotta go, where do you go?

 

PULL CHAIN IN EMERGENCY. 

There is a letter written in 1900 by one Okhil Chandra Sen that is in the Indian Railways archives today. It went on to compel the British Government to introduce a landmark service in Indian trains. Here’s the full text of the letter, dodgy English and all:  

 

“Dear Sir,

I am arrive by passenger train at Ahmedpore station and my belly is too much swelling with jackfruit. I am therefore went to privy. Just I doing the nuisance, that guard making whistle blow for train to go off and I am running with lotah in one hand and dhotie in the next when I am fall over and expose all my shookings to man, female,women on platform. I am get leaved at Ahmedpore station.

This is too much bad, if passenger go to make dung, that dam guard no wait five minutes for him. I am therefore pray your honour to make big fine on that guard for public sake.Otherwise I am making big reports to papers.

Yours faithful servant,

Okhil Chandra Sen.”

 

Yes, the Indian Railways had been running without toilets for about five decades. Sen’s ordeal ultimately led the British Indiaauthorities to act fast and install lavatories in trains. 

So do remember Okhil Chandra Sen every time you pull the chain on a train.              

 

Death and after life !

Death and after-life.. ! 
 
After reading Sakthi S Ravichandran’s piece titled: “Happening of a death” (Feb 23, 2009) I was reminded of a subject matter which had somehow interested me way back in 1977! ( 32 years ago). 
 
As mentioned earlier in some of my postings, I was a regular reader of The Illustrated Weekly Of India, a weekly magazine of The Times of India group. 
 
February 27, 1977 issue had dealt with “Death And After-life” . 
 
This is what I had written in my letter to the Editor on 1st March 2007 and an abridged version was published in the Magazine (March 27, 1977; with J P Narayan, Jagjivan Ram and Morarji Desai on the cover)  
 
Dear Sir,  
This is with reference to your ‘Death and After-Life” issue date February, 27.  
Dr Elisabeth Kubler Ross has been doing innovative research work at a Chicago hospital, interviewing terminally ill patients from all walks of life.  
Her book :”On Death and Dying” gives a report of her insights gained from such studies. She has given positive evidence of life after death and has narrated peoples’ experience of dying. In recent interviews with her (See Readers Digest, February 1977 issue) she said:  
“Why shy away from death…? Dying people are treated as if they had a social disease.They are shut up in hospitals and doctors and nurses are assigned to care for them in their final hours…We deprive them of all the pleasures that once made their lives rich: children, friends, music, good food, home etc.”  
The dying were grateful for a chance to talk to her.They were liberated from the conspiracy of silence that surrounded them.  
In reply to a question: “Has your conclusion, that there is life after death, changed you?”, she replies beautifully:”If I were to lose this house and everything in it, I couldn’t care less. Because of my work with dying patients, I know that to see a sunset or watch a pheasant family on the lawn is infinitely more important. If you listen to dying patients say,” If only I had gotten to know my children. If only…”, you begin to reflect on your own life.”
  
_______________________________________________________________
Dear Readers, if you are really interested in reading about the pioneering work this Doctor did (she expired on: 24th August 2004 at the age of 78) please click on the following link or visit the following site:
 
 
I assure you, you will learn something useful and very inspiring from the write up.One of her famous quotes says:
 
“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.”
 
I am really touched by this quote. How about you? Happy Reading.
 

SMILE PINKI

SMILE PINKI
 

Pinki
Pinki

Todays newspapers were full of news about Oscars.One of the news was about Smile Pinki,a documentary,which had also won an Oscar.I picked up one of such stories at random.Here it is:
 
Smile Pinki win brings cheer to UP village. 

Smile Pinki..

While Slumdog Millionaire made a clean sweep at the Oscars, another unlikely star from India has been born. The protagonist of Smile Pinki, Pinki Sonkar, is a celebrity in Mirzapur in Uttar Pradesh.

The 40-minute short film Smile Pinki directed by American filmmaker Magan Mylan, is about an Indian girl who is ostracised because of her cleft lip. In the film, she undergoes corrective surgery which enables her to enjoy a normal childhood. Her story has moved the judges at the Oscars, as the film bagged the Best Short Documentary award. Pinki had stopped smiling as she was embarrassed of her cleft lip. The Smile Train, an international organisation that offers free surgeries for cleft-lip patients all over the world, arrived in Pinki’s village. In her film, Mylan has documented how this surgery has changed Pinki’s life. The Oscar also brings the underdeveloped Rampur Dabai hamlet into the limelight and the authorities have now committed to build roads and provide drinking water and solar electricity. The Dabai village has a population of around 2,000. Most of the people are poor and work as labourers for their livelihood. As a part of development, the district authorities will also renovate the primary school in the village.The villagers believe that the award will raise the popularity of the village and usher in progress.
I am deeply touched by this story.
I also salute selfless services of doctors like Dr Subodh Kumar Singh who carried out the surgery in 2007 and  changed her life completely.Here is a brief narrative:
 
Pinki Kumari is an eight-year-old girl who is living with a severe cleft-lip in one of the poorest areas of India. Not allowed to attend school at her native village, Rampur Dhabahi near Bairampur village in Mirzapur, near   Varanasi, and ostracized because of her deformity, Pinki lives a life of quiet desperation as she waits and wonders if she will ever receive the cleft surgery. Her parents could never afford the surgery that she desperately needs. By chance, Pinki’s parents meet a social worker one day who is traveling village to village, gathering patients for a hospital that provides free cleft lip surgery to thousands of poor children each year through the’ The Smile Train’ programme. The surgery was performed by plastic surgeon Dr Subodh Kumar Singh, who along with Pinki attended the 81st Academy Award ceremony.The film sheds light on the global problem of cleft lip and cleft palate. According to Smile Train, more than 4.7 million children in developing countries suffer with unrepaired clefts. Each child could be saved, just like Pinki, with a simple surgery that takes as little as 45 minutes and costs as little as $250.Over the past 10 years, Smile Train has provided free cleft surgery for hundreds of thousands of children who would otherwise never have received it. The organization is the world’s leading cleft charity with thousands of partners and programs in 76 of the world’s poorest countries.
For further details and other cross references,please see the following site : 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smile_Pinki
What are your comments dear Readers ?
 
As for me, I can only quote Nida Fazli :
 
Ghar se masjid hai bahut door
   Chalo yuun kar lein,
   Kisi rotey hue bachche ko hasaya jaaye!”
 
Those who would like to see a video on the subject,please click on the following link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CamEXQ8x72c
 
Some of the photographs of cleft lips shown in this video may be disturbing but unless you see them you will not be able to judge the degree of transformation in Pinki’s life -before and after the surgery.

Let’s hope that organisations like the Smile Train continue their onward journey to bring hope,happiness,laughter and smiles in the lives of many more such Pinkies.

Pinki
Pinki

Wedding Planners !

WEDDING PLANNERS 
 
Today I am posting a collaborative piece pertaining to a genre of humorous poetry called “SENRYU” (A Japanese word ) I tried to know what exactly is a Senryu by going to the following link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Senryu
Another useful and informative link is as under:
http://members.optushome.com.au/kazoom/poetry/senryu.html
I also came across a subject matter titled :
HOW TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HAIKU AND SENRYU ?
For an answer to this question readers can visit: 
http://members.tripod.com/~Startag/HkSenDiff.html

The reason why I call this piece as WEDDING PLANNERS is that all the silly,sillier and silliest SENRYUs pertain to the theme of a wedding  or a marriage between two persons.

The idea started from a poet named Gautam Nadkarni of Mumbai, who first posted two of his witty senryus in MUSE on 20th Feb 2009.These were as under:

1.poet’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  for better or verse
 
2.baker’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  for batter or worse

Mr Nadkarni invited other readers and members of Muse by saying :
“Friends, if you can think of equally silly or more ridiculous senryu please share them with our readers. Mr Broca, please oblige if possible.”

So,many of fellow MUSE-icians took up the challenge and it literally rained Senryus.

Here is a glimpse of it all:
3.Yankee’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  jet-setter or worse          (Gautam)
4.postman’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  for letter or worse          (Gautam)
5.doctor’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  for better or nurse          (Gautam) 
6.pickpocket’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  for better or purse          (Gautam)
7.sorcerer’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  for better or curse          (Cheryl-Philippines)
8.swindler’s wedding-
  she accepts her man
  in sickness and in stealth   (–do—)
9.pauper’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  as debtor or worse           (Gautam) 
10.convict’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  with fetters or worse        (Gautam)
11.lovers’ wedding –
  she accepts her man
  love letters or worse        (Gautam)
12.Cindrella’s wedding…
  the stepmother wishes
  bitter and worse             (Apurva,Secunderabad)
13.Plumber’s wedding…
      the flow of emotion
      he fails to plug             (J S Broca**)
14.Policeman’s wedding…
      she gives green signal
      at the cross roads!          (—do—-**)
15.baldy’s wedding –
      she accepts her man
      heir or no hair
16.banker’s wedding –
      she accepts her man
      debit or credit
17.cricketer’s wedding –
      she accepts her man
      wicket or wicked
18.electrician’s wedding –
      she accepts her man
      light or heavy
19.lawyer’s wedding –
      she accepts her man
      black or white
20.politico’s wedding –
      she accepts her man 
      power or pelf
21.software engineer’s wedding –
      she accepts her man
      softer or harder
22.teacher’s wedding –
      she accepts her man
      chalk or cheese
  (15 to 22 by Atreya Sarma,Secunderabad)
23.surgeon’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  bone-setter or worse
24.undertaker’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  for better or hearse
25.rainmaker’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  for wetter or worse
26.city-slicker’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  go-getter or worse
  (23 to 26 by Gautam)
27.Actor’s wedding
  She accepts her man
  Makeup off or on (or say—on or off camera)!
  (Seshu Chamarty, Hyderabad)
28.doctor’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  for pulse or worse 
29.knitter’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  for sweater or worse 
30.painter’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  for brush or crush 
31.postman’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  for letter or worse 
32.scavenger’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  for litter or worse 
33.undertaker’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  for hearse or worse 
34.doctor’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  patient or impatient 
35.divorcee’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  diverse or worse 
36.tailor’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  fitter or bitter 
37.beggar’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  leg or mug
  (28 to 37 by Atreya Sarma Secunderabad)
38.Alice’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  Mad Hatter or worse
39.stout man’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  tho’ fatter or worse
  (38 to 39 by Gautam Nadkarni, Mumbai)
Note:13 and 14 above are doctored versions of J S Broca’s  following originals:(40 and 41)
40.plumber’s wedding,
  she accepted,
  without a peek at his’leak’
41.policeman’s wedding,
  she accepted,
  at the cross roads !
Here are some more by J S Broca:(42 to 56)
42.butcher’s wedding,
  she accepted,
  under the guillotine !
43.Harbhajan’s wedding-
  cancelled,sir ji,
  for she called him ‘Bhaaji’
  (Bhaaji means brother in Punjabi) 
44.a monkey’s wedding-
  he “took” her on the
  tree-top !
45.a Dog’s marriage.
  he proposed.
  bitch accepted-
  in the manger !
46.Pilot’s wedding-
  she accepted him
  with his “joystick”
47.Dhobi’s wedding.
  she accepted-with or
 without his clothes !
48.Dhobi’s wedding-
  yes she said-
  she loved his dirty linen !
50.Banker’s wedding-
  she accepted ‘advances’
  and cheque books !
51.Mithaiwalas wedding-
  both sweet
  he her “laddu”
  she his”jalebi”
52.Beggar man’s wedding
  proposed and
  accepted at the
  traffic junction.
53.Joker’s wedding.
  she accepted-
  his poker face !
54.Lallu Yadav’s wedding-
  “moo” said rabdi
  in a bhains ka tabela !
55.Tart’s wedding-
  he liked the smell   (Or music ?)
  of her fart !
56.Fruitsellers wedding–
  She loved-his sweet
  and soft banana ! 
57.playboy’s wedding –
  she accepts her man
  french letter or worse     (Gautam)

Time now for a break.More in a day or two.Read and enjoy !!

As promised I post some more today (28th Feb 09)

58.stammerer’s wedding –
   she accepts her man
   with stutter or worse     (Gautam)
59.drunk’s wedding –
   she accepts her man
   in the gutter or worse    (Gautam)
60.jailer’s wedding-
   she accepts her man
   for fetter or worse        (Cheryl)
61.dentist’s wedding-
   she accepts her man
   in sickness or bad breath  (Cheryl)
62.blind girl’s wedding-
   she accepts her man
   no witness to his death    (Cheryl)
63.sprinter’s wedding-
   she accepts her man
   for meter or hours         (Cheryl)
64.lawyer’s wedding-
   she accepts her man
   in thickness or in wealth   (Cheryl)
65.jester’s wedding-
   she accepts her man
   for laughter and farce      (Cheryl)
66.Lawyer’s wedding
   She accepts her man
   With no wit nor witness     (Mallick on Cheryl’s)
Still more from Gautam:
67.stammerer’s wedding –
   she accepts her man
   with a stutter or worse
68.drunk’s wedding –
   she accepts her man
   in a gutter or worse
69.punter’s wedding –
   she accepts her man
   for a flutter or worse
70.milkman’s wedding –
   she accepts her man
   with butter or worse
71.cameraman’s wedding –
   she accepts her man
   with a shutter or worse
72.tailor’s wedding –
   she accepts her man
   as cutter or worse

HOPE YOU WILL ENJOY THESE NEW ONES TOO !   

 

Category: Humour  Leave a Comment

Stupid Cupid ?

STUPID CUPID ?

The month of February has always fascinated me and somehow it has played an important part in my life so far. It has 28 days generally and 29 days in a leap year. I tried to learn about this month and I was really surprised to note that when I searched on Google, in just 0.06 seconds, there were references of an astonishingly high number of sites:1,200,000,000. Is that 120 crores ? I hope I am correct. A very reliable and my favourite site is Wikipedia. Readers can visit the following site or click on the following link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/February 

Incidentally, there are sites pertaining to February 30 (?) and February 31(?)  too. Try following links and see for yourself. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/February_30

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/February_31

Readers will be wondering about the title to this piece :”Stupid Cupid ” .I’ll just come to that in a short while. I saw my wife-to-be in February 1977! (How many years since this wonderful accident happened ? 32 years ! ) I have been a lucky guy as in my case Cupid really struck the right arrow at the right girl at the right place at the right time. However, I have come across persons who have not been perfectly matched with their mates and they have been always complaining ”Cupid is Stupid “

Why I recalled this title now is also interesting. In my 20s-25s or so, I learnt from a book from my local municipal library in Bulsar (Mahatma Gandhi Library) that we Indians believed in Kama, the God of Love as per Hinduism gospels (?) while others believed in a guy called Cupid. Why the sudden need to learn ? Well, there was an issue of “The Illustrated Weekly Of India “ (16th July 1976) (I was an avid and regular reader of this Weekly then and was one till its last days ) on the topic of “LOVE”. If I remember it correctly, there was a huge response to the issue-both positive and negative, as in those days such topics were generally a taboo and were discussed best behind closed doors. There was an avalanche of responses by way of letters to the editor-some welcoming the subject while others hitting back at the magazine for using sex (somehow sex always rightly or wrongly gets connected to love here in apna desh ) for selling its issues. Without going into the merits or demerits of such marketing gimmicks used by publishers to push their sales, I now take you a bit closer to Shriman Cupidji Maharaj. Somehow,I liked that issue and as usual I sent the following letter dated 20th July 1976 to the Editor taking a light dig on the subject matter :

Dear Sir,

CUPID (“Weekly”,July18th) may be the God of Love, but he is really often STUPID like human-beings.

( Readers will recall my recent effort at humour by writing on  words ending in ‘tine’ and rhyming with Valentine. Here too readers will note the rhyming of Stupid with Cupid ! ) 

He has his own shortcomings like us :              

(1) “Cupid may be a good shot, but he makes some awful Mrs.”

(2) “The reason Cupid makes so many bad shots is because he is aiming at the heart and  looking at the hosiery.” 

(3) ”This “Dieu De L’Amour” has no answers to an old maid’s prayer ; “Oh God, grant me an  L.S.M.F.T. husband.” ( Long, Short, Medium, Fat or Thin ! )

(4)  “When his arrows miss their target, LOVE becomes = “Lake of Sorrow, Ocean of  Tears, Valley of Death and End of Life.”  

However, one thing is certain. The world will be a lifeless place without the spark of flame of love. Yes, I agree with Ghalib’s sentiments in his oft-quoted couplet :

” The flame of love, cannot be lit, Nor can it ever die! Like havoc wrought by forest fire, It blazes always high !”   

J S BrocaBaroda

Dear readers, since Cupid is the God associated with Valentine Day ,and Valentine Day has just gone by, I thought it fit to air my views on the stupidity or otherwise of this master arrow blaster Cupid.

I’d love to know from the readers of this piece as to whether in their cases, Cupid has been stupid or wise or over-wise or un-wise ? 

I’ll wait for your responses. SAY : Jai Ho !! Cupid Maharaj Ki !! 

PS :Before I sign off  here’s a link to that guy: 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cupid 

SHOOT  AT SIGHT !!

 

Category: Humour  8 Comments

Urine therapy

URINE THERAPY
 
Recently there were news paper reports about a certain category of our politicians who said that our rural economy could get a kick start if we used cow dung and cow’s urine for various purposes.
 
The following editorial,which appeared in a local news paper, dated 16.02.09,tickled me pink :
NATURAL STIMULII
“The RSS endorses bovine waste products to beat the downturn.A stinking idea.TRUST THE RASHTRIYA SWAYAMSEWAK SANGH (RSS) to show us the way out of all problems.Now some of you may be worrying about how to keep your heads above the water,given the economic downturn.But have no fear,the RSS way is sure to have you raising your glass,though what may be in it may be a bit of surprise cocktail.If India’s future lies in its villages,the RSS knows just how to make things work.Cow urine,dung and other byproducts are its answer to kick starting rural economics.Now for those of you who may hold your noses at this prospect,let us tell you that the saffron brigade is second to none when it comes to marketing these items.
 
 
If you are worried about your hair falling,well,lather up with a bit of cow urine shampoo.You may not be the most popular in the odour stakes after this,but keep bovine preservation at the top of your mind.And if the patriot in you does not quail at this,try to keep your pearlies intact with,wait for it,cow dung tooth powder.May be you may want to sit a while and think things over before rushing to your nearest gau raksha pharmacy.Well,the RSS has thought of your comfort even then in the form of fine furniture and easy on the eye sculpture (from cow dung) .No longer do you need to ask that familiar question :’ how now brown cow ?’
 
The RSS has told you exactly how to resolve that dilemma of how to waste not and want not.  
————————– 
 
This news item and cock and bull story is not new for an oldie like me.I recall vividly from my memory about one of our ex-Prime Ministers –Shri Morarji Bhai Desai,who had a great penchant for things bovine.He was a staunch supporter of Urine Therapy.Those interested in knowing the details of this therapy may click on or visit the following site :
 
 
The write-up in this well researched article makes the following specific mention :
 
Quote : 
 
In 1978, the former Prime Minister of India, Morarji Desai, a longtime practitioner of urine therapy, spoke to Dan Rather on 60 Minutes about urine therapy. Desai stated that urine therapy was the perfect medical solution for the millions of Indians who cannot afford medical treatment.
 
Unquote.
 
It was also rumored that the secret of this gentleman’s health was in a daily peg of the bovine liquid kind !
 
I had read about this and I had written about it in my letter dated 10th January 1978 to The Editor of “The Illustrated Weekly Of India” (Khushwant Singh)
 
This is  what I had written with reference to the editorial on the Janta Party in the issue dated 8th January 1978 :
 
” With reference to your editorial in the issue dated 8th January 1978,I would like to advise the ruling Janta Party to be careful in 1978.
 
I have tried to put my words in verse as under.Please give it some space in one of your future issues.
 
What the Janta Party needs is ” political therapy” and leave concentrating on
 
URINE THERAPY !!
 
U-  Unmindful about all other matters,
 
R-  Requiring action–and not just chatter,
 
I –  Indian leaders just go on tours,
 
N- Not one bit worried about me and you !
 
E- Endless promises and glorious hopes,
 
T- That can convince only –but dopes,
 
H- Have from leaders, come so far,
 
E- Easy saying,than doing it yaar !
 
R- Real problems are jobs and poverty,
 
A- And says the PM–” drink urine tea “
 
P- Poor show and poor work till now,
 
Y- Ye leaders,wake up, or you will fall,you know how !! “
 
– J S Broca
  Baroda
———————
My dear readers,the above prophesy (about its fall) came out to be quite true.
 
The Janta Party failed miserably to govern the nation.It rose and fell with a thud.The rise and fall is well documented.
 
Those of you who are students of political science or are interested to know exactly what happened and how it happened,can read about it by clicking on the following link or going to the site:
 
 
Friends,your feedback is welcome.      
 
Here let me raise a toast to our nation’s as well as our health, but the peg is certainly not filled with the bovine liquid,infamously then called “MORARJI COLA”
 
Incidentally,that reminds me that COCA COLA had left India sometime in 1977.It is an interesting story.Those interested may click on or visit :
 
 
The history of Coca Cola is equally interesting.Readers may love reading what is available at the following site or link :
 
 
Let me say CHEERS and end on this note !!
                                                                                                       
           
 
 

                                                                                                                           

Category: Humour  2 Comments

Words rhyming with Valentine….

WORDS RHYMING WITH ” VALENTINE”- I tried to test my vocabulary today by making an effort to recall some words which end in “-tine” and then see how they can be related to Valentine,which is the word for the day. I could recall words like Intestine,Serpentine,Turpentine,etc. Now let me see how I can relate these words with Valentine : 

INTESTINE :
This hullabaloo about commercialization of Valentine Day,is not digestible to my intestines! 

SERPENTINE :
Lovers who want to celebrate,come what may,throng florists,cafes,cinema halls and pubs in long queues,which are so long that they can be called serpentine ! ( This day can also be a reminder about the episode about the serpant,Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden ! ) 

TURPENTINE :
When you want to apply a thin coat of paint on a surface,you have to add a chemical called turpentine to the it.However,lovers today will wish to paint the town thickly red or pink,so turpentine sales business will be down! 
 
ELEPHANTINE:
Huge sized hoardings have been put in malls,outside hotels, on major road crossings, announcing about 50 to 80% discount on sales of gifts,dinners,parties etc to attract lovers.The size of such hoardings is elephantine ! 

QUARANTINE:
There are those segments of our society,who want to protect our country’s sacred maryaada and would love,if those who flaunt their hearts on their sleeves today,are jailed—or put at least in quarantine !  
I’ll end on that cheerful note….

If readers have thought of more words rhyming with Valentine,they may please try to conjure up some silly thoughts like those above,and add them to my list. Thanks. E..N..J..O..Y..!!

Category: Humour  19 Comments

VERNACULAR VALENTINE

VERNACULAR VALENTINE :

V       – Vaakya hai yeh ek barsaat kee raat ka

A       – Apnon sey ek haseen mulakaat ka

L       –  Labbon pey unki thee ek chhoti see fariyaad

E       – Ehsaan aapka kee aap kartey hain humein yaad

N       – Nazrein unki jhooki hui thee,chhalak raha tha neer

T        -Tadap raha thaa dill hamaara,chubhaa jo unka teer

I         -Inteha pyaar thaa unsey,parr saddiyon sey bichhdey thhey hum

N       -Naa kabhi unhein bhulaaya tha,sahey zamaane key anekon sitam

E       -Ekraar apney pyaar ka ,kabhee karr naa paaye thhey hum

S       -Sunaa hai,unhon ney bhi jheley hain ishq mein laakhon gamm

D       -Dastaan humaarey asafal prem ki, pathhar par ek lakeer hai

A       -Aapkey pyaar kaa jazbaa,ab, sirf humaari jageer hai

Y       -Yaad aatey hain aap humein hardam,dil mein chhapi jo aapki tasveer hai.

( posted on Valentine Day 14.02.09  in “Muse”)

PINK IS IN !

PINK IS IN 
 
The following news,item which was published in Hindustan Times of 10.02.09,tickled me pink :
 
COUNTER ATTACK :Group of ‘ Pubgoing,Loose Women’ Launch Campaign.
 
This V-Day, pink chaddies for the Sene.   
 
Last Thursday,at about midnight,a group of friends created The Consortium of Pubgoing,Loose and Forward Women.Started as a group on the popular social net working site,Facebook,it has kicked up quite a storm.With over 3,000 members in the group ,there are men too,the group has bloomed into a full fledged campaign to send the Sri Ram Sene pink chaddis on Valentine’s Day.Taken up almost as a joke,but not quite,these ladies decided to hit back at right wing groups who were capitalising on fear.The Consortium has created enough of a stir,in just four days,on the Internet,and people from all parts of the country are getting enthused to join the campaign as their way of showing contempt.
 
Nisha Susan,mediaperson and one of the founders confesses it has been a very hectic twenty-four hours dealing with the sudden unexpected surge of interest.The collected chaddis--she estimates the number to be 500 “at the very least”–will be displayed on Friday the 13th at a press conference in Bengaluru.
Dear Readers,there are addresses given in the news paper and on their website as to where people can send their chaddis.The Group has also come out with a good logo in the form of a poster, with a pink coloured undergarment displayed  in the centre and the words “THIS VALENTINES DAY,Send The Sri Ram Sena a ‘ PINK CHADDI’, Because Chaddis are Forever.” 
 
The group has its own website / blog and well wishers and supporters can post their messages there.The address of the site / blog is :  

Those who are equally tickled pink like me, can see what the comments are.It is a real treat to know the views and the minds of the supporters of this campaign.
 
I could not refrain from posting my comments on 10.02.09 on the blog. This is what I posted :
 
Dear Campaigners,
BRAVO !

In the earlier days,brave women used to send “bangles” (‘choodies‘) to the “weaker”(?) men folk asking them to wear them and sit at home and twiddle their thumbs while they took up their cause with the enemies.
 
Things have now changed from bangles to undies or to “chuddies” from “choodies“.

Wish you all the Best.

By the way, Ram Sena’s name should be changed to “Vanar Sena” as ‘ vanars’ are pink bottomed monkeys and so the pink chuddies will nicely and picturesquely match their bottoms.

Bottoms up to that ! Cheers !!

J S BROCA
NEW DELHI
jsbroca@yahoo.com

I  have read somewhere that colours have a predominant role and effect on our lives and personalities. I did a little research and this is what I gathered :
1. If you wear pink…

You have an affectionate, loving nature, which makes you sympathetic and understanding. You may lack willpower and show weakness when you cannot control affairs of the heart. You need a great deal of support from others and can be childlike in behavior. You must learn to accept and love yourself. If you become more self-reliant you will attract and give out the feelings of warmth and love you desire.

2. Introducing Pink : 

Pink is the colour of happiness and is sometimes seen as lighthearted.Brighter pinks are youthful, fun and exciting while vibrant pinks have the same high energy as red. They are sensual and passionate without being too aggressive.Toning down the passion of red with the purity of white results in the softer pinks that are associated with romance and the blush of a young woman’s cheeks.It’s not surprising that when giving or receiving flowers pink blossoms are a favorite.For women who are often overworked and overburdened, an attraction to pink may speak to a desire for the more carefree days of childhood.

3. The effects of the colour Pink : 

How does the colour pink effect us physically and mentally? It stimulates energy,can increase the blood pressure,respiration, heartbeat,and pulse rate.It encourages action and confidence.Pink has even been used in prison cells reportedly, to effectively reduce erratic behavior
 
4.Colourful phrases connected with Pink :

(a) tickled pink: to be happy.
(b) in the pink: in good health. (This phrase hasn’t always had this meaning,try and find out what it originally meant )
(c) a pink elephant: a term used to describe hallucinations during intoxication.
(d) pinkie finger: the smallest finger on the human hand.
(e) pink slip: notice that employment is ending.
 (f) pink collar: refers to a particular class of jobs once only filled by women.

5.There are several beautiful quotes on the colour Pink : Some examples :

(a) “Pink is the navy blue of India.” –Diana Vreeland
(b) “I fell off my pink cloud with a thud.”– Elizabeth Taylor

6. Pink Around The Globe : 

The pink ribbon is an internationally recognized symbol of hope and awareness in the fight against breast cancer.In Japan, the colour pink has a masculine association. The annual blooming of the cherry trees, with it’s pink blossoms, each spring ( the Sakura ) is said to represent the young Japanese warriors who fell in battle in the prime of life ( the Samurai).
The city of Jaipur, is a foremost tourist attraction in India because of its superlative forts, grandiose palaces, vivacious temples, multicolored bazaars, pulsating streets and its distinguished “pink colour ” to which the city owes its oft-used name ‘The Pink City’. This illustrious pink color symbolizes ‘ welcome’ and was embraced during the times of the ruler Ram Singh II when he expected the Prince of Wales in 1876. The colour was selected after several experiments to cut down the severe glare from the reflection of the glowing rays of the sun. Today, every home in the old city is obliged by law to maintain this distinctiveness of the city.(Those interested,can learn more about this colorful city,by browsing through the internet).Marrakesh is another city, associated with the colour pink. It is sometimes refered to as the “Rose city”, describing it’s salmon pink coloured buildings and the red clay of it’s terrain.( You can learn more about the Rose City from the internet )

7.More Colour Around the World… 

In 1947, fashion designer Elsa Schiaparelli introduced the colour hot pink into western fashion. She dubbed the shade “Shocking Pink”, though today the colour is more associated as “magenta”.Since the colour pink is said to have a tranquilizing effect, sports teams sometime paint the locker room, to be used by their opposing teams, pink.Some studies of the colour pink suggest that male weightlifters seem to lose strength in pink rooms, while women weightlifters tend to become stronger around the colour.Isn’t that fascinating ? Here’s some interestinginformation for the foodies :Pastries taste better when they come out of pink boxes or are served on pink plates (it only works with sweets). Pink makes us crave sugar.it is said. For those interested in branded garments,here is a nugget :* Thomas Pink’ : With a wonderful reputation for the finest luxury shirts and accessories,Pink has become an international success story with stores in the UK, US, Europe and Far East. Other examples are also there:  Victoria’s Secret, Pepto-Bismol,Mary Kay, T-Mobile: The Magenta “T” is easily recognized as the symbol for T-Mobile.

8.Pink in the Garden :

The water lily (Nymphaea) has been casting its bewitching  spell on humans for thousands of years, enchanting even the earliest civilizations. This mysterious beauty rises from the deep, leaves floating serenely on the surface, exquisite blossoms appearing as if by magic.Once the province of grand palaces and public gardens, the water lily is now finding its way to the home garden.(You may visit–Better Homes and Garden, to know how to plant and care for waterlillies.)

9.The Scent Of Pink :

 
An ad goes thus: “Victoria’s Secret PINK- Eau de Parfum Spray.Think bright, effervescent. Sophisticated. Sexy. Modern. Confident. Playful. Dab it on. Expect the unexpected.” I bet you will wanna try it !

Grapefruit: A tart citrus Grapefruit scent. A great refreshing summer scent. Aromatherapy benefits: Balancing, refreshing, cheering.

Peony: A scent as sweet and fragrant as the flower itself. A great spring, summer scent. Aromatherapy benefits: Soothing, Romantic, calming, uplifting.

Bubblegum was the original scent of the pink colored Magic Scents Crayons from Binney & Smith Inc. introduced in 1994 with mostly food scents. There were numerous reports that children were eating the food-scented crayons, so the food scents were retired and replaced with non-food scents. The scent for the colour pink became “shampoo”.

10. A Taste Of Pink :

  
(a) Grapefruit : A tropical citrus fruit, named because it grows in grapelike clusters.It  is a cross between a sweet orange and a pummelo,and was introduced to Florida from the Bahamas in 1823. There are two main varieties: seeded and seedless. They are also split into color classifications white (yellowish-white flesh)and pink (flesh ranges from pale yellow-pink to bright ruby red).Pink grapefruit has a higher amount of vitamin A. The skins of all varieties are yellow, some with a pink blush.
(b) Cotton Candy (“Bhoodi Key Baal ” which we all must have enjoyed in our childhood )  was invented in 1897 by William Morrison and John C. Wharton, candymakers from Nashville,Tennessee, USA. They invented a device that heated sugar in a spinning bowl that had tiny holes in it. It formed a treat that they originally called “Fairy Floss.” As the bowl spun around, the caramelized sugar was forced through the tiny holes, making feathery candy that melts in the mouth.I recall having stood around a candy floss making machine in a “mela” (fair) in Gujarat for an hour and saw the magic being spun before my eyes.

11.Songs with Pink in the title ;

 
The only Hindi film song,which mentions pink (“Gulabi” in Hindi ) which I can recall,is from a movie called “The Train”,( if I am correct) and it went something like this: “Gulabi Aankhen,Jo Teri Dekhi,Sharabi,Yeh Dil, Ho Gaya…..” However, there is a long list of songs in English :
 
 Some examples :

* “Mr. Pink Eyes” by The Cure on The Lovecats single,* “My Pink Half of the Drainpipe” by The Bonzo Dog Band,* “Pink” by Aerosmith,* “Pink & Blue” by OutKast on The Love Below,* “Pink Cadillac” by Bruce Springsteen,* “Pink Cashmere” by Prince on The Hits 1 * “A Pink Dream” by The Cure on the Mint Car single,* “Pink Bubbles go ape” by Helloween,* “Pink Bullets” by The Shins,* “Pink Elephant” by Cherry Poppin’ Daddies * “Pink Houses” by John Cougar Mellencamp,* “Pink Killer” by Dir en grey * “Pink Maggit” by Deftones,* “Pink Moon” by Nick Drake on Pink Moon,* “Pink Orange Red” by Cocteau Twins on Stars and Topsoil,* and “Pink Panther Theme” by Henry Mancini.
 
The name “Pink Panther” reminds me about Aishwarya Rai Bachchan,who was very recently in the news in connection with this movie.Pink seems to be the flavour and the colour of this season.   

12.More,still more,on Pink : 
 
Combining the purity of white and the the passion of red gives us pink – the colour of gentle love and desire.  Pink is the colour associated with baby girls, and is the colour of many newborn animals. Pink signifies gentleness, and new birth.
 
The rose, as the archetypal flower has endured in its beauty and significance for hundreds of years.  What is it about a rose, irrespective of colour and size that makes it so special, so touching? In addition to its beauty, the rose is perhaps the only flower that has so many diverse meanings. The meaning of a pink rose is as beautiful and as graceful as the delicate blossom.

Pink is not just for girls, and it is not just a pretty colour.Pink roses have deep significance when it comes to affections given and received. The most widely accepted interpretation of pink roses is grace and gentility. An admiration for beauty, refinement and enduring grace is what the pink rose connotes.  The receiver of the pink rose can rest assured that he or she is admired for possessing a certain respectability and decorum not commonly found in others. The meaning of pink roses, as expressed by their lovely colour, is happiness and joy. Being themselves a joy to behold, pink roses express fun and happiness. The pink rose denotes that the receiver is a pleasure to behold, a pleasure to have in company. Thus, it is an indication of deep joy. They indicate happiness or pride, a heart-felt appreciation. The pink rose, because of its happy connotation is very popular in bouquets that decorate the bridal bower. Symbolic of joy, pride and deep affection, they make wonderful tokens while celebrating birthdays, anniversaries or significant achievements. Its visual appeal and delicate appearance gives off a sense of harmony and warmth. Like the becoming blush on a bride’s face, the pink rose expresses happiness and enthusiasm.
Where there are no overtones of love, pink rose seeks to communicate gratitude – a very beautiful and touching way to say a simple “Thank you”! The pink rose when used to express gratitude, appreciation and recognition is a source of joy and delight.
The pink rose, though beautiful to behold and wonderful to receive also has its share of unfavorable overtones. This negative meaning of the pink rose found it’s beginning in the ancient Roman Mythology. Apollo turned Rhoanthe into a pink rose when she unfairly tried to become the protectress of women. In this scheme of events, pink roses depict pain, long standing suffering and death.But the pink rose is generally looked upon as the flower of sweet thoughts and gentle emotions. It indicates an affection that may turn into deeper love. Innocent love that has not yet blossomed into passion, a deep affection that has not yet reached its pinnacle is what the pink rose expresses.Pink roses please all our senses. They look beautiful, smell great and have a depth of meaning in their gentle blooms. The next time you need to express joy, affection, pride, gratitude, a gentle romance or even good luck, use a pink rose. This glorious flower in its beauty and delicate shade expresses innocence, and a simple joy in that innocence. As opposed to red roses that speak of deep passion, the pink roses are a gentle reminder of affections not yet awakened, the gentle beginning of a wonderful relationship.
 
Dear Readers,I began this piece with “Pink Chuddies” and after a long but enjoyable journey of discovery about Pink,I ended up with “Pink Roses” which is a befitting end,as Valentine’s Day is near. I’ll end here.
Enjoy Pink.Pink is IN !!
pink pink pink pink
pink pink pink pink
pink pink pink pink
pink pink pink pink
pink
Amul

Amul

THE BOSS

THE BOSS
The Boss is a very famous category of persons on whom several quotes are available and on whom several types of jokes are there in the media.With the Internet coming in,it has added one more very large source of quotes and jokes on bosses.To have an idea about the volume, I searched Google for ‘Jokes on a Boss’. And astonishingly,references of  62,70,000 sites popped up in just 0.15 seconds.When I searched Google for ‘Quotes on the Boss’, references of 235,00,000 sites came up in merely 0.18 seconds.My God,The Boss is really the most favourite punching bag !
 
My favourite QUOTE or JOKE, whatever you may call it, has been the one related to the Body Parts which wanted to be the Boss.I had heard it sometime in 1978/1979 from a colleague of mine in Jyoti Ltd, Baroda.I liked it so much that I had got it typed from a typist friend of mine.Here it is :   
 
THE BOSS:
 
When the body was first made,all it’s parts wanted to be THE BOSS.
 
The BRAIN said ,”Since I control everything and do all the thinking,I should be THE BOSS.
 
The HAND said, ” Since I must do all the work and earn all the money to keep the rest of you going, I should be THE BOSS.
 
The EYE said, “Since I must look out for all of you and tell you where the danger lurks,I should be THE BOSS.
 
And so it went on with the HEART, the EARS, the FEET and the LUNGS.Finally, THE ASSHOLE spoke up and demanded to be THE BOSS. 
 
All other parts of the body laughed at the idea of THE ASSHOLE being THE BOSS.
 
The ASSHOLE was so enraged that he blocked himself off and refused to function.Soon the Brain was feverish,the Eyes crossed and ached,the Feet were too weak,the Hands hung limply at the side, the Heart and the Lungs struggled just to keep going.
 
All pleaded with the Brain to let THE ASSHOLE be THE BOSS.And so it happened.All other parts did all the work and the ASSHOLE just bossed around and passed out a lot of shit.
 
THE MORAL: YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE BRAIN TO BE THE BOSS.YOU JUST HAVE TO BE THE ASSHOLE !!