Archive for » September, 2008 «

Ek dil, dus afsaane

1. In the old days a barber of one village or town would help in the engagement / marriage of a girl of that town / village with a boy of another town / village. Nowadays,several matrimonial web sites are there to help in such matters.Even marriage of a boy and a girl separated by seven seas is celebrated through computers/internet.This is summed up neatly as under:
“Internet par ladki pataee,
Internet par ho gayi sagaai,
Internet par divorce ho gaya,
Issi bahaane,computer ka course ho gaya .”

2. It is said that one generally does not forget one’s first love.Imagine the plight of one such person :
“Woh aaj bhi hummein dekh kar muskuraate hain,
Woh aaj bhi hummein dekh kar muskuraate hain,
Yeh tau unke bachhe hee kameenein hain,
Jo hummein Mamaji Mamaji keh kar bulaate hain.”

3. Like those “before” and “after” ads of clinics and beauty parlours,sample this situation:
Then :” Shaadi karnee thee,par kismat khulee nahin,
Taj Mahal banaana thaa,par Mumtaz milli nahin.
Now : Kismat khulee,shaadi huee,
Taj Mahal banaana chahta hoon,
Par yeh Mumtaz marti nahin.”

4. A loverboy,it is said, generally becomes weak while pining for his girl.Here’s an example of an extreme situation :
” Itne kamzor ho gaye hum aapki judaaee mein,
Ki ek saala machchar,uthaa ley gayaa chaarpayee se.”

5. There’s some theory (Darwin’s theory?) that says that human being was initially a monkey.A witty comparision of their laughter/anger is given herebelow :
“Jab tum hanstey ho tau lagta hai ki pehle aadmi bandarr thaa.
Dekho gussa matt hona,kyonki jab tum gussa hotey ho tau lagta
hai ki aadmi aaj bhi bandarr hai.”

6. It requires great guts to fall in love.Really ! A brave heart tries but what really happens due to lack of guts :
“Tere darwaaze pe sanam hum baar baar aayeinge,
Tere darwaaze pe sanam hum baar baar aayeinge,
Tere darwaaze pe sanam hum baar baar aayeinge,
Ghantee bajaayeinge aut bhaag jaayeinge !”

7. Illegal construction is banned.Here is a poor soul’s situation :
“Zarra zarra karke teree yaadon ka mehal bannate hain,
Zarra zarra karke teree yaadon ka mehal bannate hain,
Kambhakht yeh municipality waaley,illegal construction
Keh karr todd jaatey hain.”

8. A modern simile of a ‘mehbooba’ courtesy his ‘mehboob’ :
“Kaash,tumhaarre chehre par chicken pox ke daag hotey,
Kaash,tumhaarre chehre par chicken pox ke daag hotey,
Chaand tau tum ho hee,sitaare bhee saath hotey !”

9. How can we forget the common man’s “Pappu” ? Love is blossoming in the schools too these days.Sample this :
“School mein ishqq ka naya maahol tayaar ho gayaa,
Class kee teacher ko Pappu se pyaar ho gayya.
Iss baat sey saari class ka dil udass ho gayaa,
Kyon ki saari class fail thee,parr Pappu pass ho gayaa.”

10. Times-they are always a changing.Our mindsets are changing.Our hearts are changing. See the situation over the years:
” Ek yugg thaa jabb logg apne dwaar par likhtey thhey : “Atithi devo bhava”. Phir likhne lagge :”Shubh laabh ” Phir :”You are welcome.”Parr aaaj ? : “Kutton se saawdhaan”    

                                                            

Hope you enjoyed these comments. Feedback is welcome.

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The real life Hero

Sunil Dutt

This is in response to article: “THE REAL LIFE HERO” (Screen, 06th June 2008) on Sunil Dutt.


It was a really warm and heart touching tribute on his birthday and was a rare treat for your readers who got a glimpse of “Balraj”s (screen name Sunil Dutt) kaleidoscopic life from his initial struggling days in the early fifties, to his establishment as an actor of some merit in the sixties, his acceptance as a reliable box office hero in the seventies and his gradual journey to the pinnacle of his success in nineties and two thousands.


This “Birju’s” (his role of a short-tempered and a fiery son in “Mother India”) dare-devil act of saving a damsel in distress (Nargis) during a fire on the sets of the movie, and which ultimately culminated into a lifelong commitment by way of marriage, is stuff of which such fairy tale romances are made of.


With very humble beginnings as a refugee from Pakistan after the Partition of 1947, he started his career as a popular radio announcer on Radio Ceylon and sometime in 1955 shifted to Mumbai (then Bombay) to realize his dream of making it big on the celluloid medium. His last role was a guest appearance in “Munnabhai MBBS ” (2003) where he probably shared screen space with his son Sanjay Dutt, for the first time in his career (He had earlier starred in “Rocky” which was Sanjay’s launch pad film, but if I recollect correctly, this father and son duo had not acted together anywhere in the story.)


Sunil Dutt, during his long career/life span till his death in May 2005,had donned many hats—-as an actor, producer, director, Sherrif of Mumbai, Cabinet Minister for Youth and Sports in Manmohan Singh’s Government and as an elected parliamentarian of Congress (I) winning his seat for 5 times from his opponents. His Nargis Dutt Foundation is doing yeomen service for cancer patients. His fight for justice for his son Sanjay, when he was jailed in the aftermath of Hindu Muslim clashes, as a concerned parent, speaks volumes about his family values.


Sunil Dutt has been honoured with 2 Filmfare Best Actor awards, around 3 Life Time Achievement Awards by various TV channels, Padmashri , Glory Of India Award and of course with the crowning glory of Dada Saheb Phalke Award. He has acted with all the top notch heroines of yester years like Meena Kumari, Nutan, Sadhna,Waheeda Rehman, Mala Sinha and Asha Parekh. This speaks of his salability and immense comfort level he enjoyed in Bollywood in those decades. I think “Sadhna”, “Sujata”, ”Khandaan”, “Padosan”, “Gumraah”, ”Waqt”, “Milan” and “ Hamraaz” are some of his memorable movies, which are watched avidly by his fans when ever they are re-run on the TV channels. He had also worked in some socio-religious Punjabi movies in the seventies and was a force to recon with, in that media / region as well.

My letter in Screen 13.06.08

My letter in Screen 13.06.08

Singer par excellence                                               

This refers to your article: “Pitching it right” (Screen May 30, 2008) on Mahendra Kapoor.

His versatility as a top-notch singer can be gauged from the fact that he has sung songs in Hindi, Marathi, Gujarati, English, Punjabi, Bhojpuri and Awadhi. An album of sufi songs and songs in a Pakistani film are the latest feathers in his multifaceted cap.

He was at his peak during the times of other singers like Mohd Rafi, Mukesh, Kishore Kumar and Talat Mahmood but few singers could match his high pitch and he gave many unforgettable songs to film lovers. Another aspect of his musical wizardry was that he did justice to all types of songs, be it comedy songs like Sikandar ne porus se ki thi (Anpadh), Thande thande paani se nahana (Pati Patni Aur Woh), sad romantic numbers like Dil laga kar hum yeh (Zindagi Aur Maut), Kho gaya hi mera pyaar (Hariyali Aur Raasta), folk songs like Ramchandra keh gaye siya se (Gopi) and patriotic songs like Mere desh ki dharti (Upkaar), for which, if I recall correctly, he had won the National Award as Best Playback Male Singer in 1968.

Apart from several other awards, he is also the recipient of the Padma Shri as well as the Dadasaheb Phalke Award. This speaks volumes of his capacity and capability to deliver soul stirring numbers. His long association with BR Chopra has given us some memorable and hummable songs like Chalo ek baar phir se (Gumraah), Waqt se din aur raat (Waqt), Tum agar saath dene ka vaada, Neele gagan ke tale (Hamraaz) etc. His booming voice in the title song of Chopra’s mega TV serial Mahabharat was also a treat for the listeners. His songs also made a significant contribution to the success of Manoj Kumar’s films like Upkaar, Purab Aur Paschim, Kranti and others.

It is really sad that he hasn’t lent his voice to Hindi films after 1999. His smiling face makes me think that perhaps his memorable song Naa mooh chhupa ke jiyo aur naa sar jhuka ke jiyo sums up his life’s philosophy quite aptly.

J S BROCA,

NOIDA.                                                                                                                                  

My letter in Screen 23.05.08

Mother Dearest
Posted: May 23, 2008 at 1043 hrs IST              

The article “Maa Of All Times “ by Deepa Karmalkar in Screen dated May 16 was a good compilation of all types of screen mothers ——good, bad, reverential, old, mod and brash.

It was indeed a good nostalgic journey down the road, covering stereotypes of a variety of mothers like Leela Chitnis, Achla Sachdev,Durga Khote,Nirupa Roy, and Nargis of course,whose characterisation of the most sacrificing mother in Mother India remains the most admired mother in the hearts of all Hindi movie lovers.

In the past,roles of mothers were very carefully written keeping the personality of the actress in mind and till today roles played by Achla Sachdev and Nirupa Roy in several Hindi movies, remain etched in the minds of cinegoers.Further, there were special songs written for the mothers and picturised very beautifulty on them as well.

I feel Deepa should next come out with a compilation of all such Hindi film songs dedicated to the mother. Tu kitni achhi hai, is an example of one of such lovable songs.Who can ever forget the dialogue between Sashi Kapoor and Amitabh Bachhan in Deewaar? The dialogue ending with Mere paas maa hai by Shashi Kapoor from this movie was, and has remained, a milestone in the art of dialogue writing of yesteryears.

Hats off to DK for this tribute to Mothers on Mothers’ Day. I am sure all readers must have liked Screen’s way of saying : “Maa Tujhe Salaam!!”

My letter in Screen 06.06.08


L-P – Melody makers


  Posted: Jun 06, 2008 at 1042 hrs                                                         

Your tribute to Laxmikant on his tenth death anniversary (“Song Of The Legend”, Screen , May 23) was a good gesture. The legend’s personal qualities and the milestones of his Hindi film music were very touchingly highlighted by his near ones-his younger sister Vijayalaxmi and friend, Dr Shukla.

The Laxmikant-Pyarelal duo, also lovingly known as Laxmi-Pyare or just LP, is reported to have contributed to the music of around 500 Hindi movies spanning from 1963 to 1998. LP had worked for filmmakers like Raj Kapoor, Dev Anand, Shakti Samanta, Manmohan Desai, Manoj Kumar and Yash Chopra. Their first film as music directors was Parasmani (1963), a mythological film and the song Hansta hua noorani chehra still remains a popular number among golden oldies. The success of this film was perhaps what prompted Laxmikant to name his bungalow Parasmani.

Rajshri’s Dosti (1964) became a raving success only because of its lilting music by L-P and soul-stirring songs like Rahi manva and Chahoonga main tujhe. I also recall that Binaca Geet Mala, a popular radio programme broadcast from Radio Ceylon, which used to feature 16 top Hindi film songs every week, quite often included 10 to 14 songs which bore the L-P stamp of quality music of those times.

If music lovers try to list their best musical numbers, they will definitely include chart busters like: Mere mehboob qyamat hogi (Mr X in Bombay) , Aaj mausam bada beimaan hai (Loafer), Hum tum ek kamre mein band hon (Bobby), Ek pyaar ka naghma hai (Shor), Yeh jeevan hai (Piya Ka Ghar) and Sawan ka mahina (Milan).

The death of Laxmikant has left a deep void in the field of Hindi film music. Musicians may come and go but LP’s melodious music will remain forever etched in the hearts of their millions of fans.

My letter published in Screen of 16.05.08

Oops she did it again

Posted: May 16, 2008 at 1048 hrs IST

“Malika Sherawat, thy name is controversy” seems to be an apt quote for your editorial ( Screen May 2, 08)


This Harayanavi lass surely has a lot of panache for controversies which compel the media to devote umpteen columns and reams to her “sexcapades”. She seems to have bloomed to be a seasoned player by hobnobing with the latest who’s of Bollywood/Hollywood to remain in constant media glare for she believes in the old adage “Out of sight, out of mind”.


Your quote on Ms Sherawat’s sex symbolism was very apt and fitted her like the proverbial glove. That peek-a-boo eye candy black outfit she wore at the Dasavtharam movie music launch party appeared to have been made to order to create an impact on the stage and steal the thunder from as well as pull the red carpet from under the feet of moviedom’s stalwarts like Chan, Big B, Hema and Jaya Prada. She again appears to believe in another adage “You have it, you flaunt it.”


Her oft quoted quote “Men talk to my boobs” was literally the “tit-for-tat” talk of the day for several weeks in the tinsel town. Whether the quote was Ms Sherawat’s original creation or was contributed by her PR people is still a mystery. Her reportedly sizzling pole dance item number in Dasavtharam, is expected to generate more heat and bust (not dust!) and viewers will be eagerly awaiting the movie’s release.


All said and done, as opined by you dear editor, this spunky and witty glamour puss from Rohtak would definitely be a worthy Indian brand ambassador of Mae West’s school of quotes.


J S BROCA

 

Lehman lynched

Lehman lynched

We all have read about the fall of Lehman and takeover of Merryl by BOA. Here’s what I wrote to Financial Express  recently:

This refers to your editorial “Lehmanaging finance” (FE 16.09.08). What has happened to Lehman Brothers now in 2008 is a grim repeat of the Great Depression of 1931. It appears that Merryl Lynch somehow wrangled to avoid bankruptcy by finding an Angel Investor in Bank of America. Such well known icons of the global financial world, falling down from their high and mighty pedestals like a pack of cards indicates that their fundamentals were weak and their foundations were hollow. We Indians looked at them as pillars of strength and often had grandiose plans to grow to their heights but the real picture was a facade behind which lurked murky matters and financial juggleries which caught their investors unawares. Let our RBI and Finance Ministry take a leaf out of the books of these two mishaps to learn a lesson and take corrective measures to ensure that such sudden and shocking falls in stock markets are prevented. Greed and Fear are the main culprits of such excesses. It is also likely that some other big brothers like Goldman Sachs may see similar fate looking to the fact that its third quarter earnings plunged massively by 70%. Our own banks like ICICI and SBI are also likely to suffer huge damage to their reputations by making high provisions to cover their investments in Lehman’s Indian arms. The need of the hour is that “Big Bosses” of RBI/FINMIN/SEBI should get together and plan to put in place required risk control measures in public interest and in the interest of financial stability. Every time such shocks surface, our poeople who sit on the top of our financial systems, merely mouth dialogues like: “The fundamentals of Indian economy are really strong”. It is high time our financial pundits did a thorough study and come out with a detailed analysis of our financial system so that Indian investors are not taken for a ride by such shocking shake-ups.

J S BROCA,New Delhi.

In the line of Duty

I came across an interesting news items in one of the dailies (Times of India 17.09.08)
I am reproducing it herebelow with my take on the news item:


“COPS FINE PIZZA MAN FOR DELIVERING VERY FAST FOOD”               


An Australian pizza delivery man gave fast food a new meaning when he was caught and fined for driving 53 km over the speed limit. The 20 year old?man, driving on a provisional driver’s license,said he was speeding because he was 20 minutes late with his delivery in Townsville. Police clocked him driving at 131 kms in an 80 kph zone, but waited for him to deliver his pizza before booking him. On his return journey to the pizza shop,he was caught speeding at 133 km in the same zone. The delivery man,who was not named,was fined $1226 and lost his license for 15 months.”


My comments on above news item:


1.Shouldn’t the delivery man’s sense of responsibility towards his customer be rewarded?
2.Can we in the Bank go to such lengths in satisfying our customers?
3.Can our police force ever be so vigilant on the roads?
4.The police waited for the delivery man to make his delivery before booking him. Can we ever imagine of such an incidence in our country??
5.The delivery man was fined heavily and lost his license. Shouldn’t his employers have rewarded him for his exemplary sense of duty?


I would like to have your feedback on my comments.


BAHADUR NAARI….

ANOTHER LIMERICK TRANSLATED FROM ENGLISH TO HINDI-II

Please see the earlier translation of a limerick posted by me some time back (about the mouse in the soup)

The second limerick I tried my hands on was this:

“There was a young lady of Niger
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger
They returned from the ride
With the lady inside
And the smile on the face of the tiger !!”

(Author unknown)                                                                                      

A freewheeling translation of the above in Hindi turned out as under:
“EK SHEHAR MEIN THEE EK BAHADUR NAARI,
JIS NE MUSKRAA KE KI EK CHEETE PAR SAWAARI
JAB LAUT KAR WAAPIS WOH AAYE,
LOG NAARI KO NAA DEKH CHAKRAAYE
JAB CHEETE KO MUSKRAATA HUAA PAYA
TAU RAAZ UN KI SAMAJH MEIN AAYA !!”

I recited the above Hindi translation imitating the style of Ehsaan Qureshi Sahab who recites funny stuff on the Great Laughter Challenge show on TV and the response was hilarious.
TRY IT YOUR SELF AND ENJOY THE PUN.I AM SURE YOU’LL LOVE IT.


PS: I found that some of the listeners needed some more clarifications after the last line about the “Raaz”. So I added a few lines more to the above translation.


This is what emerged:
KYAA RAAZ AAP KEE SAMAJH MEIN NAHIN AAYA ?
TOH AAP SABH KO BATTA DETAA HOON BHAAYA,
CHEETA ISS LEEYE MUSKRAA RAHA THAA,
KYON KI NAARI KAA NASHTAA US KE MANN KO BHAA RAHA THA.
BASS ITTI SI BAAT THEE MERE BHAAYI
LAGTA HAI AB BAAT AAP KI SAMAJH MEIN AAYEE !!

Category: Humour  2 Comments

CHINESE DISH….

(A LIMERICK TRANSLATED FROM ENGLISH TO HINDI)

                                                                                                                       


A Limerick in English is usually a five line piece which conveys the humour quite beautifully and aptly. I tried to translate a few from English to Hindi but I could not get the real flavour in five lines. Hence in order to please my Hindi reading friends and collegues I increased the number of lines to as many that were necessary so that the humour was driven home completly. The first limerick I tried my hands on was this:


A gourmet dining at Crewe
Found a rather large mouse in his stew.
Said the waiter, “Don’t shout
And wave it about,
Or the rest will be wanting one, too.”

(Author unknown)

A freewheeling translation of the above in Hindi turned out as under:

EK SAHAB NE SOCHA CHALO HOTEL MEIN JAAYEN,
KUCHH KHAAEIN PEEYEIN, MAUJ MANAAYEN,
UNHON NE EK TOMATO SOUP KA BOWL MANGWAYYA,
AUR JYON HI USS MEIN CHAMACH GHUMAAYA,
EK NANHI SI CHOOHIYA KO PAAYA !!
SAHAB LAGGE CHILLAANE, AUR LAGGE CHOOHIYA KO POONCHH SE PAKADD KAR HILAANE.
TAB WAITER DAUDDA DAUDDA AAYA, AUR MAAJRA DEKH KAR GHABHRAAYA
SOCHA KAISE IS BAAT SE NIPTAA JAAYE,
SAHAB BHI NARAAZ NA HON AUR BAAT BHI BANN JAAYE.
USNE KAHA “SHRIMAAN, CHOOHIAA KO YOON YOON MATT HILAAYIEY
YEH CHINESE DISH HAI, ITMINAAN SE KHAAYIEY,
AGAR AAP ISSE YOON YOON HILAAYENGE,
TAU AGAL BAGAL WAALE BHI YEHI DISH MANGWAAYENGE!!”

I recited the above Hindi translation during a function imitating the style of Ehsaan Qureshi Sahab who recites funny stuff on the Great Laughter Challenge show on TV and the response was hilarious.


PS: I asked my daughter to add a few lines more to the above translation.


This is what emerged:

AGAR ISS SOUP KI DEMAAND BARRH GAYI TO AFSOS KI MAIN USSE
POORA NAAN KAR PAAOONGA,
KYON KI KITCHEN MEIN YEH AAKHRI CHOOHIYAA THEE,
AUR KAHHAN SE LAAOONGAA?

                                            

Category: Humour  3 Comments